TATTLE, JEREMY.
TATT. Is not that she gone out just now?
JERE. Ay, sir; she's just going to the place of appointment. Ah,
sir, if you are not very
faithful and close in this business, you'll
certainly be the death of a person that has a most extraordinary
passion for your honour's service.
TATT. Ay, who's that?
JERE. Even my un
worthy self, sir. Sir, I have had an
appetite to
be fed with your commands a great while; and now, sir, my former
master having much troubled the
fountain of his understanding, it is
a very plausible occasion for me to
quench my
thirst at the spring
of your
bounty. I thought I could not
recommend myself better to
you, sir, than by the
delivery of a great beauty and fortune into
your arms, whom I have heard you sigh for.
TATT. I'll make thy fortune; say no more. Thou art a pretty
fellow, and canst carry a message to a lady, in a pretty soft kind
of
phrase, and with a good persuading accent.
JERE. Sir, I have the seeds of
rhetoric and
oratory in my head: I
have been at Cambridge.
TATT. Ay; 'tis well enough for a servant to be bred at an
university: but the education is a little too pedantic for a
gentleman. I hope you are secret in your nature: private, close,
ha?
JERE. Oh, sir, for that, sir, 'tis my chief
talent: I'm as secret
as the head of Nilus.
TATT. Ay? Who's he, though? A privy counsellor?
JERE. O ignorance! [Aside.] A
cunning Egyptian, sir, that with
his arms would overrun the country, yet nobody could ever find out
his head-quarters.
TATT. Close dog! A good whoremaster, I
warrant him: --the time
draws nigh, Jeremy. Angelica will be veiled like a nun, and I must
be hooded like a friar, ha, Jeremy?
JERE. Ay, sir; hooded like a hawk, to seize at first sight upon the
quarry. It is the whim of my master's
madness to be so dressed, and
she is so in love with him she'll
comply with anything to please
him. Poor lady, I'm sure she'll have reason to pray for me, when
she finds what a happy exchange she has made, between a
madman and
so
accomplished a gentleman.
TATT. Ay, faith, so she will, Jeremy: you're a good friend to her,
poor creature. I swear I do it hardly so much in
consideration of
myself as
compassion to her.
JERE. 'Tis an act of
charity, sir, to save a fine woman with thirty
thousand pound from throwing herself away.
TATT. So 'tis, faith; I might have saved several others in my time,
but, i'gad, I could never find in my heart to marry anybody before.
JERE. Well, sir, I'll go and tell her my master's coming, and meet
you in half a quarter of an hour with your
disguise at your own
lodgings. You must talk a little madly: she won't
distinguish the
tone of your voice.
TATT. No, no; let me alone for a
counterfeit. I'll be ready for
you.
SCENE IV.
TATTLE, MISS PRUE.
MISS. O Mr Tattle, are you here? I'm glad I have found you; I have
been looking up and down for you like anything, till I'm as tired as
anything in the world.
TATT. Oh, pox, how shall I get rid of this foolish girl? [Aside.]
MISS. Oh, I have pure news, I can tell you, pure news. I must not
marry the
seaman now--my father says so. Why won't you be my
husband? You say you love me, and you won't be my husband. And I
know you may be my husband now, if you please.
TATT. Oh, fie, miss; who told you so, child?
MISS. Why, my father. I told him that you loved me.
TATT. Oh, fie, miss; why did you do so? And who told you so,
child?
MISS. Who? Why, you did; did not you?
TATT. Oh, pox, that was
yesterday, miss, that was a great while
ago, child. I have been asleep since; slept a whole night, and did
not so much as dream of the matter.
MISS. Pshaw--oh, but I dreamt that it was so, though.
TATT. Ay, but your father will tell you that dreams come by
contraries, child. Oh, fie; what, we must not love one another now.
Pshaw, that would be a foolish thing indeed. Fie, fie, you're a
woman now, and must think of a new man every morning and forget him