if I proved my qualifications, my name might be favorably considered by
the Selected Salic Scions--I say no more; I blush, though you cannot see
me; when I am tempted, I seem to be human, after all.
At first, to be sure, I met Aunt Carola's
suggestion in the way that I am
too ready to meet many of her remarks; for you must know she once, with
sincere
simplicity and good-will, told my Uncle Andrew (her husband; she
is only my Aunt by marriage) that she had married beneath her; and she
seemed unprepared for his
reception of this candid statement: Uncle
Andrew was unaffectedly merry over it. Ever since then all of us wait
hopefully every day for what she may do or say next.
She is from old New York, oldest New York; the family manor is still
habitable, near Cold Spring; she was, in her youth, handsome, I am
assured by those whose word I have always trusted; her appearance even
to-day causes people to turn and look; she is not tall in feet and
inches--I have to stoop
considerably when she commands from me the
familiarity of a kiss; but in the quality which we call force, in moral
stature, she must be full eight feet high. When rebuking me, she can
pronounce a single word, my name, "Augustus!" in a tone that renders
further remark
needless; and you should see her eye when she says of
certain newcomers in our society, "I don't know them." She can make her
curtsy as
appalling as a natural law; she knows also how to "take
umbrage," which is something that I never knew any one else to take
outside of a book; she is a highly
pronounced Christian,
holding all
Unitarians
wicked and all Methodists
vulgar; and once, when she was
talking (as she does frequently) about King James and the English
religion and the English Bible, and I reminded her that the Jews wrote
it, she said with
displeasure that she made no doubt King James had--
"well, seen to it that all foreign matter was expunged"--I give you her
own words. Unless you have moved in our best American society (and by
this I do not at all mean the lower classes with dollars and no
grandfathers, who live in palaces at Newport, and look forward to every-
thing and back to nothing, but those Americans with grandfathers and no
dollars, who live in boarding-houses, and look forward to nothing and
back to everything)--unless you have known this
haughty and improving
milieu, you have never seen anything like my Aunt Carola. Of course, with
Uncle Andrew's money, she does not live in a boarding-house; and I shall
finish this brief attempt to place her before you by adding that she can
be very kind, very loyal, very public-spirited, and that I am truly
attached to her.
"Upon your mother's side of the family," she said, "of course."
"Me!" I did not have to feign amazement.
My Aunt was silent. "Me descended from a king?"
My Aunt nodded with an indulgent stateliness. "There seems to be the
possibility of it."
"Royal blood in my veins, Aunt?"
"I have said so, Augustus. Why make me repeat it?"
It was now, I fear, that I met Aunt Carola in that unfitting spirit, that
volatile mood, which, as I have said already, her remarks often rouse in
me.
"And from what
sovereign may I hope that I--?"
"If you will
consult a recent
admirable compilation, entitled The
American Almanach de Gotha, you will find that Henry the Seventh--"
"Aunt, I am so much relieved! For I think that I might have
hesitated to
trace it back had you said--well--Charles the Second, for example, or
Elizabeth."
At this point I should have been wise to notice my Aunt's eye; but I did
not, and I continued imprudently:--
"Though why
hesitate? I have never heard that there was anybody present
to marry Adam and Eve, and so why should we all make such a to-do
about--"
"Augustus!"
She uttered my name in that quiet but
prodigious tone to which I have
alluded above.
It was I who was now silent.
"Augustus, if you purpose
trifling, you may leave the room."
"Oh, Aunt, I beg your
pardon. I never meant--"
"I cannot understand what impels you to adopt such a manner to me, when I
am
trying to do something for you."
I hastened to
strengthen my apologies with a manner becoming the possible
descendant of a king toward a lady of
distinction, and my Aunt was