It was extraordinary--always before this woman came near her she trembled
in her shoes--even the sound of those flat feet stumping up the stairs made
her feel sick, but once they were face to face she felt
immensely calm and
indifferent, and could not understand why she even worried about money, nor
why she sneaked out of the house on
tiptoe, not even
daring to shut the
door after her in case the
landlady should hear and shout something
terrible, nor why she spent nights pacing up and down her room--drawing up
sharply before the mirror and
saying to a
tragicreflection: "Money,
money, money!" When she was alone her
poverty was like a huge
dream-mountain on which her feet were fast rooted--aching with the ache of
the size of the thing--but if it came to
definite action, with no time for
imaginings, her dream-mountain dwindled into a
beastly "hold-your-nose"
affair, to be passed as quickly as possible, with anger and a strong sense
of superiority.
The
landlady bounced out of the room, banging the door, so that it shook
and rattled as though it had listened to the conversation and fully
sympathised with the old hag.
Squatting on her heels, Viola opened the letter. It was from Casimir:
"I shall be with you at three o'clock this afternoon--and must be off again
this evening. All news when we meet. I hope you are happier than I.--
CASIMIR."
"Huh! how kind!" she sneered; "how condescending. Too good of you,
really!" She
sprang to her feet, crumbling the letter in her hands. "And
how are you to know that I shall stick here awaiting your pleasure until
three o'clock this afternoon?" But she knew she would; her rage was only
half
sincere. She longed to see Casimir, for she was
confident that this
time she would make him understand the situation..."For, as it is, it's
intolerable--intolerable!" she muttered.
It was ten o'clock in the morning of a grey day
curiously lighted by pale
flashes of
sunshine. Searched by these flashes her room looked tumbled and
grimed. She pulled down the window-blinds--but they gave a persistent,
whitish glare which was just as bad. The only thing of life in the room
was a jar of hyacinths given her by the
landlady's daughter: it stood on
the table exuding a
sicklyperfume from its plump petals; there were even
rich buds unfolding, and the leaves shone like oil.
Viola went over to the washstand, poured some water into the
enamel basin,
and sponged her face and neck. She dipped her face into the water, opened
her eyes, and shook her head from side to side--it was exhilarating. She
did it three times. "I suppose I could drown myself if I stayed under long
enough," she thought. "I wonder how long it takes to become
un
conscious?...Often read of women drowning in a
bucket. I wonder if any
air enters by the ears--if the basin would have to be as deep as a
bucket?"
She experimented--gripped the washstand with both hands and slowly sank her
head into the water, when again there was a knock on the door. Not the
landlady this time--it must be Casimir. With her face and hair dripping,
with her
petticoat bodice unbuttoned, she ran and opened it.
A strange man stood against the lintel--seeing her, he opened his eyes very
wide and smiled
delightfully. "Excuse me--does Fraulein Schafer live
here?"
"No; never heard of her." His smile was so
infectious, she wanted to smile
too--and the water had made her feel so fresh and rosy.
The strange man appeared overwhelmed with
astonishment. "She doesn't?" he
cried. "She is out, you mean!"
"No, she's not living here," answered Viola.
"But--pardon--one moment." He moved from the door lintel,
standingsquarely in front of her. He unbuttoned his greatcoat and drew a slip of
paper from the breast pocket, smoothing it in his gloved fingers before
handing it to her.
"Yes, that's the address, right enough, but there must be a mistake in the
number. So many lodging-houses in this street, you know, and so big."
Drops of water fell from her hair on to the paper. She burst out laughing.
"Oh, HOW
dreadful I must look--one moment!" She ran back to the washstand
and caught up a towel. The door was still open...After all, there was
nothing more to be said. Why on earth had she asked him to wait a moment?
She folded the towel round her shoulders, and returned to the door,
suddenly grave. "I'm sorry; I know no such name" in a sharp voice.
Said the strange man: "Sorry, too. Have you been living here long?"
"Er--yes--a long time." She began to close the door slowly.
"Well--good-morning, thanks so much. Hope I haven't been a
bother."
"Good-morning."
She heard him walk down the passage and then pause--lighting a cigarette.
Yes--a faint scent of
delicious cigarette smoke penetrated her room. She
sniffed at it, smiling again. Well, that had been a
fascinating interlude!
He looked so
amazingly happy: his heavy clothes and big buttoned gloves;
his
beautifully brushed hair...and that smile..."Jolly" was the word--just