but as my words fell upon the air they struck me as imprudent.
However, I risked them and I was not sorry, for perhaps
after all the old woman would be
willing to treat.
It seemed to be tolerably
obvious that she knew my secret:
why
therefore drag the matter out? But she did not take what I
had said as a
confession; she only asked:
"Do you think it's right to rake up the past?"
"I don't know that I know what you mean by raking it up;
but how can we get at it unless we dig a little?
The present has such a rough way of treading it down."
"Oh, I like the past, but I don't like
critics," the old woman declared
with her fine tranquility.
"Neither do I, but I like their discoveries."
"Aren't they
mostly lies?"
"The lies are what they sometimes discover," I said, smiling at the quiet
impertinence of this. "They often lay bare the truth."
"The truth is God's, it isn't man's; we had better leave it alone.
Who can judge of it--who can say?"
"We are
terribly in the dark, I know," I admitted; "but if we give
up
trying what becomes of all the fine things? What becomes of
the work I just mentioned, that of the great philosophers and poets?
It is all vain words if there is nothing to
measure it by."
"You talk as if you were a tailor," said Miss Bordereau whimsically;
and then she added quickly, in a different manner, "This house
is very fine; the proportions are
magnificent. Today I wanted
to look at this place again. I made them bring me out here.
When your man came, just now, to learn if I would see you,
I was on the point of sending for you, to ask if you didn't
mean to go on. I wanted to judge what I'm letting you have.
This sala is very grand," she pursued, like an auctioneer,
moving a little, as I guessed, her
invisible eyes.
"I don't believe you often have lived in such a house, eh?"
"I can't often afford to!" I said.
"Well then, how much will you give for six months?"
I was on the point of exclaiming--and the air of excruciation
in my face would have denoted a moral face--"Don't, Juliana; for
HIS sake, don't!" But I controlled myself and asked less passionately:
"Why should I remain so long as that?"
"I thought you liked it," said Miss Bordereau with her shriveled dignity.
"So I thought I should."
For a moment she said nothing more, and I left my own words to suggest
to her what they might. I half-expected her to say,
coldly enough,
that if I had been disappointed we need not continue the discussion,
and this in spite of the fact that I believed her now to have in her mind
(however it had come there) what would have told her that my disappointment
was natural. But to my
extreme surprise she ended by observing:
"If you don't think we have treated you well enough perhaps we can discover
some way of treating you better." This speech was somehow so incongruous
that it made me laugh again, and I excused myself by
saying that she talked
as if I were a sulky boy, pouting in the corner, to be "brought round."
I had not a grain of
complaint to make; and could anything have exceeded Miss
Tita's graciousness in accompanying me a few nights before to the Piazza?
At this the old woman went on: "Well, you brought it on yourself!"
And then in a different tone, "She is a very nice girl."
I assented
cordially to this
proposition, and she expressed the hope
that I did so not merely to be obliging, but that I really liked her.
Meanwhile I wondered still more what Miss Bordereau was coming to.
"Except for me, today," she said, "she has not a relation in the world."
Did she by describing her niece as
amiable and unencumbered wish
to represent her as a parti?
It was
perfectly true that I could not afford to go on with my
rooms at a fancy price and that I had already
devoted to my
undertaking almost all the hard cash I had set apart for it.
My
patience and my time were by no means exhausted, but I should
be able to draw upon them only on a more usual Venetian basis.
I was
willing to pay the
venerable woman with whom my pecuniary dealings
were such a
discord twice as much as any other padrona di casa would
have asked, but I was not
willing to pay her twenty times as much.
I told her so
plainly, and my plainness appeared to have some success,
for she exclaimed, "Very good; you have done what I asked--
you have made an offer!"
"Yes, but not for half a year. Only by the month."
"Oh, I must think of that then." She seemed disappointed