She considered her lover. "He'd never find YOU, my dear!"
Her lover, still on his seat, appealed to her in something of the
attitude in which she had last left Captain Everard, but the
impression was not the same. "Then where do I come in?"
"You don't come in at all. That's just the beauty of it!"--and
with this she turned to
mingle with the
multitude collected round
the band. Mr. Mudge
presentlyovertake的过去式">
overtook her and drew her arm into
his own with a quiet force that expressed the serenity of
possession; in consonance with which it was only when they parted
for the night at her door that he referred again to what she had
told him.
"Have you seen him since?"
"Since the night in the Park? No, not once."
"Oh, what a cad!" said Mr. Mudge.
CHAPTER XX
It was not till the end of October that she saw Captain Everard
again, and on that occasion--the only one of all the
series on
which
hindrance had been so utter--no
communication with him proved
possible. She had made out even from the cage that it was a
charming golden day: a patch of hazy autumn
sunlight lay across
the sanded floor and also, higher up, quickened into
brightness a
row of ruddy bottled syrups. Work was slack and the place in
general empty; the town, as they said in the cage, had not waked
up, and the feeling of the day likened itself to something than in
happier conditions she would have thought of romantically as Saint
Martin's summer. The counter-clerk had gone to his dinner; she
herself was busy with arrears of
postal jobs, in the midst of which
she became aware that Captain Everard had
apparently been in the
shop a minute and that Mr. Buckton had already seized him.
He had as usual half a dozen telegrams; and when he saw that she
saw him and their eyes met he gave, on bowing to her, an
exaggerated laugh in which she read a new
consciousness. It was a
confession of awkwardness; it seemed to tell her that of course he
knew he ought better to have kept his head, ought to have been
clever enough to wait, on some pretext, till he should have found
her free. Mr. Buckton was a long time with him, and her attention
was soon demanded by other visitors; so that nothing passed between
them but the fulness of their silence. The look she took from him
was his greeting, and the other one a simple sign of the eyes sent
her before going out. The only token they exchanged
therefore was
his tacit
assent to her wish that since they couldn't attempt a
certain
frankness they should attempt nothing at all. This was her
intensepreference; she could be as still and cold as any one when
that was the sole solution.
Yet more than any
contacthitherto achieved these counted
instants
struck her as marking a step: they were built so--just in the mere
flash--on the
recognition of his now
definitelyknowing what it was
she would do for him. The "anything, anything" she had uttered in
the Park went to and fro between them and under the poked-out china
that interposed. It had all at last even put on the air of their
not needing now clumsily to
manoeuvre to
converse: their former
little
postal make-believes, the
intense implications of questions
and answers and change, had become in the light of the personal
fact, of their having had their moment, a
possibility comparatively
poor. It was as if they had met for all time--it exerted on their
being in presence again an influence so
prodigious. When she
watched herself, in the memory of that night, walk away from him as
if she were making an end, she found something too
pitiful in the
primness of such a gait. Hadn't she
precisely established on the
part of each a
consciousness that could end only with death?
It must be admitted that in spite of this brave
margin an
irritation, after he had gone, remained with her; a sense that
presently became one with a still sharper
hatred of Mr. Buckton,
who, on her friend's withdrawal, had
retired with the telegrams to
the sounder and left her the other work. She knew indeed she
should have a chance to see them, when she would, on file; and she
was divided, as the day went on, between the two impressions of all
that was lost and all that was re-asserted. What beset her above
all, and as she had almost never known it before, was the desire to
bound straight out, to
overtake the autumn afternoon before it
passed away for ever and hurry off to the Park and perhaps be with
him there again on a bench. It became for an hour a fantastic
vision with her that he might just have gone to sit and wait for
her. She could almost hear him, through the tick of the sounder,
scatter with his stick, in his
impatience, the fallen leaves of
October. Why should such a
vision seize her at this particular