mine had been - the overclouding of his
passionate desire to be
left to finish his work. He was far from unsociable, but he had
the finest
conception of being let alone that I've ever met. For
the time, none the less, he took his profit where it seemed most to
crowd on him, having in his pocket the
portable sophistries about
the nature of the artist's task. Observation too was a kind of
work and experience a kind of success; London dinners were all
material and London ladies were
fruitful toil. "No one has the
faintest
conception of what I'm
trying for," he said to me, "and
not many have read three pages that I've written; but I must dine
with them first - they'll find out why when they've time." It was
rather rude justice perhaps; but the
fatigue had the merit of being
a new sort, while the phantasmagoric town was probably after all
less of a
battlefield than the
haunted study. He once told me that
he had had no personal life to speak of since his fortieth year,
but had had more than was good for him before. London closed the
parenthesis and exhibited him in relations; one of the most
inevitable of these being that in which he found himself to Mrs.
Weeks Wimbush, wife of the
boundless brewer and proprietress of the
universal menagerie. In this
establishment, as everybody knows, on
occasions when the crush is great, the animals rub shoulders freely
with the spectators and the lions sit down for whole evenings with
the lambs.
It had been ominously clear to me from the first that in Neil
Paraday this lady, who, as all the world agreed, was tremendous
fun, considered that she had secured a prime
attraction, a creature
of almost heraldic oddity. Nothing could
exceed her enthusiasm
over her
capture, and nothing could
exceed the confused
apprehensions it excited in me. I had an
instinctive fear of her
which I tried without effect to
conceal from her
victim, but which
I let her notice with perfect
impunity. Paraday heeded it, but she
never did, for her
conscience was that of a romping child. She was
a blind
violent force to which I could
attach no more idea of
responsibility than to the creaking of a sign in the wind. It was
difficult to say what she conduced to but
circulation. She was
constructed of steel and leather, and all I asked of her for our
tractable friend was not to do him to death. He had consented for
a time to be of india-rubber, but my thoughts were fixed on the day
he should resume his shape or at least get back into his box. It
was
evidently all right, but I should be glad when it was well
over. I had a special fear - the
impression was ineffaceable of
the hour when, after Mr. Morrow's
departure, I had found him on the
sofa in his study. That pretext of indisposition had not in the
least been meant as a snub to the envoy of THE TATLER - he had gone
to lie down in very truth. He had felt a pang of his old pain, the
result of the
agitationwrought in him by this forcing open of a
new period. His old programme, his old ideal even had to be
changed. Say what one would, success was a
complication and
recognition had to be reciprocal. The monastic life, the pious
illumination of the missal in the
convent cell were things of the
gathered past. It didn't engender
despair, but at least it
required
adjustment. Before I left him on that occasion we had
passed a
bargain, my part of which was that I should make it my
business to take care of him. Let
whoever would represent the
interest in his presence (I must have had a mystical prevision of
Mrs. Weeks Wimbush) I should represent the interest in his work -
or
otherwise expressed in his
absence. These two interests were in
their
essence opposed; and I doubt, as youth is
fleeting, if I
shall ever again know the
intensity of joy with which I felt that
in so good a cause I was
willing to make myself odious.
One day in Sloane Street I found myself questioning Paraday's
landlord, who had come to the door in answer to my knock. Two
vehicles, a barouche and a smart hansom, were drawn up before the
house.