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giving me 'a character.' Sir Edward sent for me, and was



most kind. He told me I was to go to the Pacific in the

first ship that left for South America, which would probably



be in a week or two; and he gave me a letter to his friend,

Admiral Thomas, who commanded on that station.



About this time, and for a year or two later, the relations

between England and America were severely strained by what



was called 'the Oregon question.' The dispute was concerning

the right of ownership of the mouth of the Columbia river,



and of Vancouver's Island. The President as well as the

American people took the matter up very warmly; and much



discretion was needed to avert the outbreak of hostilities.

In Sir Edward's letter, which he read out and gave to me



open, he requested Admiral Thomas to put me into any ship

'that was likely to see service'; and quoted a word or two



from my dear old captain Sir Thomas, which would probably

have given me a lift.



The prospect before me was brilliant. What could be more

delectable than the chance of a war? My fancy pictured all



sorts of opportunities, turned to the best account, - my

seniors disposed of, and myself, with a pair of epaulets,



commanding the smartest brig in the service.

Alack-a-day! what a climb down from such high flights my life



has been. The ship in which I was to have sailed to the west

was suddenly countermanded to the east. She was to leave for



China the following week, and I was already appointed to her,

not even as a 'super.'



My courage and my ambition were wrecked at a blow. The

notion of returning for another three years to China, where



all was now peaceful and stale to me, the excitement of the

war at an end, every port reminding me of my old comrades,



visions of renewed fevers and horrible food, - were more than

I could stand.



I instantly made up my mind to leave the Navy. It was a

wilful, and perhaps a too hasty, impulse. But I am impulsive



by nature; and now that my father was dead, I fancied myself

to a certain extent my own master. I knew moreover, by my



father's will, that I should not be dependent upon a

profession. Knowledge of such a fact has been the ruin of



many a better man than I. I have no virtuous superstitions

in favour of poverty - quite the reverse - but I am convinced



that the rich man, who has never had to earn his position or

his living, is more to be pitied and less respected than the



poor man whose comforts certainly, if not his bread, have

depended on his own exertions.



My mother had a strong will of her own, and I could not guess

what line she might take. I also apprehended the opposition



of my guardians. On the whole, I opined a woman's heart

would be the most suitable for an appeal AD MISERICORDIAM.



So I pulled out the agony stop, and worked the pedals of

despair with all the anguish at my command.



'It was easy enough for her to REVEL IN LUXURY and consign me

to a life worse than a CONVICT'S. But how would SHE like to



live on SALT JUNK, to keep NIGHT WATCHES, to have to cut up

her blankets for PONCHOS (I knew she had never heard the



word, and that it would tell accordingly), to save her from

being FROZEN TO DEATH? How would SHE like to be mast-headed



when a ship was rolling gunwale under? As to the wishes of

my guardians, were THEIR FEELINGS to be considered before



mine? I should like to see Lord Rosebery or Lord Spencer in

my place! They'd very soon wish they had a mother who &c.



&c.'

When my letter was finished I got leave to go ashore to post



it. Feeling utterly miserable, I had my hair cut; and,

rendered perfectlyreckless by my appearance, I consented to



have what was left of it tightly curled with a pair of tongs.

I cannot say that I shared in any sensible degree the



pleasure which this operation seemed to give to the artist.




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