hoped, by the help of my
resentment, to be able to meet him with
indifference. This employed my thoughts till our
arrival. The
next day there was a very full court to
congratulate the queen on
her
recovery; and
amongst the rest my love appeared dressed and
adorned as if he designed some new
conquest. Instead of
seeing a
woman he despised and slighted, he approached me with that
assured air which is common to successful coxcombs. At the same
time I
perceived I was surrounded by all those ladies who were on
his
account my greatest enemies, and, in
revenge, wished for
nothing more than to see me make a
ridiculous figure. This
situation so perplexed my thoughts, that when he came near enough
to speak to me, I fainted away in his arms. Had I
studied which
way I could
gratify him most, it was impossible to have done
anything to have pleased him more. Some that stood by brought
smelling-bottles, and used means for my
recovery; and I was
welcomed to returning life by all those repartees which women
enraged by envy are
capable of venting. One cried 'Well, I never
thought my lord had anything so
frightful in his person or so
fierce in his manner as to strike a young lady dead at the sight
of him.' 'No, no,' says another, 'some ladies' senses are more
apt to be
hurried by
agreeable than dis
agreeable objects.' With
many more such sort of speeches which showed more
malice than
wit. This not being able to bear, trembling, and with but just
strength enough to move, I crawled to my coach and
hurried home.
When I was alone, and thought on what had happened to me in a
public court, I was at first
driven to the
utmostdespair; but
afterwards, when I came to
reflect, I believe this accident
contributed more to my being cured of my
passion than any other
could have done. I began to think the only method to pique the
man who had used me so barbarously, and to be
revenged on my
spiteful rivals, was to recover that beauty which was then
languid and had lost its
luster, to let them see I had still
charms enough to engage as many lovers as I could desire, and
that I could yet rival them who had thus
cruelly insulted me.
These
pleasing hopes revived my sinking spirits. and worked a
more effectual cure on me than all the
philosophy and advice of
the wisest men could have done. I now employed all my time and
care in adorning my person, and studying the surest means of
engaging the affections of others, while I myself continued quite
indifferent; for I
resolved for the future, if ever one soft
thought made its way to my heart, to fly the object of it, and by
new lovers to drive the image from my breast. I consulted my
glass every morning, and got such a command of my countenance
that I could suit it to the different tastes of
variety of
lovers; and though I was young, for I was not yet above
seventeen, yet my public way of life gave me such
continualopportunities of conversing with men, and the strong desire I now
had of
pleasing them led me to make such
constant observations on
everything they said or did, that I soon found out the different
methods of
dealing with them. I observed that most men generally
liked in women what was most opposite to their own
characters;
therefore to the grave solid man of sense I endeavored to appear
sprightly and full of spirit; to the witty and gay, soft and
languishing; to the amorous (for they want no increase of their
passions), cold and reserved; to the
fearful and
backward, warm
and full of fire; and so of all the rest. As to beaux, and all
of those sort of men, whose desires are centered in the
satisfaction of their
vanity, I had
learned by sad experience the
only way to deal with them was to laugh at them and let their own
good opinion of themselves be the only support of their hopes. I
knew, while I could get other followers, I was sure of them; for
the only sign of
modesty they ever give is that of not depending
on their own judgments, but following the opinions of the
greatest number. Thus furnished with maxims, and grown wise by
past errors, I in a manner began the world again: I appeared in
all public places handsomer and more
lively than ever, to the