enable one to forget a little, or at least take the edge off
memory. Why should I not visit them and escape another long and
dreary English winter? No, I could not do so alone. If Bastin and
Bickley were there, their
eternal arguments might amuse me. Well,
why should they not come also? When one has money things can
always be arranged.
The idea, which had its root in this
absurd conversation, took
a curious hold on me. I thought of it all the evening, being
alone, and that night it re-arose m my dreams. I dreamed that my
lost Natalie appeared to me and showed me a picture. It was of a
long, low land, a curving shore of which the ends were out of the
picture,
whereon grew tall palms, and where great combers broke
upon gleaming sand.
Then the picture seemed to become a
reality and I saw Natalie
herself,
strangely changeful in her
aspect,
strangely varying in
face and figure,
strangely bright,
standing in the mouth of a
pass
whereof the little bordering cliffs were covered with bushes
and low trees, whose green was almost hid in lovely flowers.
There in my dream she stood, smiling
mysteriously, and stretched
out her arms towards me.
As I awoke I seemed to hear her voice, repeating her dying
words: "Go where you seem called to go, far away. Oh! the
wonderful place in which you will find me, not
knowing that you
have found me."
With some variations this dream visited me twice that night. In
the morning I woke up quite determined that I would go to the
South Sea Islands, even if I must do so alone. On that same
evening Bastin and Bickley dined with me. I said nothing to them
about my dream, for Bastin never dreamed and Bickley would have
set it down to indigestion. But when the cloth had been cleared
away and we were drinking our glass of port--both Bastin and
Bickley only took one, the former because he considered port a
sinful
indulgence of the flesh, the latter because he feared it
would give him gout--I remarked casually that they both looked
very run down and as though they wanted a rest. They agreed, at
least each of them said he had noticed it in the other. Indeed
Bastin added that the damp and the cold in the church, in which
he held daily services to no
congregation except the old woman
who cleaned it, had given him
rheumatism, which prevented him
from sleeping.
"Do call things by their proper names," interrupted Bickley. "I
told you
yesterday that what you are
suffering from is neuritis
in your right arm, which will become
chronic if you
neglect it
much longer. I have the same thing myself, so I ought to know,
and unless I can stop operating for a while I believe my fingers
will become
useless. Also something is affecting my sight,
overstrain, I suppose, so that I am obliged to wear stronger and
stronger glasses. I think I shall have to leave Ogden" (his
partner) "in
charge for a while, and get away into the sun. There
is none here before June."
"I would if I could pay a locum tenens and were quite sure it
isn't wrong," said Bastin.
"I am glad you both think like that," I remarked, "as I have a
suggestion to make to you. I want to go to the South Seas about
which we were talking
yesterday, to get the
thorough change that
Bickley has been advising for me, and I should be very grateful
if you would both come as my guests. You, Bickley, make so much
money out of cutting people about, that you can arrange your own
affairs during your
absence. But as for you, Bastin, I will see
to the wherewithal for the locum tenens, and everything else."
"You are very kind," said Bastin, "and certainly I should like
to
expose that misguided author, who probably published his
offensive work without thinking that what he wrote might affect
the subscriptions to the
missionary societies, also to show
Bickley that he is not always right, as he seems to think. But I
could never dream of accepting without the full
approval of the
Bishop.
"You might get that of your nurse also, if she happens to be
still alive," mocked Bickley. "As for his Lordship, I don't think
he will raise any
objection when he sees the
certificate I will
give you about the state of your health. He is a great believer
in me ever since I took that carbuncle out of his neck which he