cocker spaniel called Tommy which had been given to her as a
puppy, a highly
intelligent and
affectionate animal that we both
adored and that loved her as only a dog can love. Really, I knew,
it was to hide her tears, and fled from the room lest she should
see mine.
As I went I heard the dog whimpering in a
peculiar way, as
though some
sympathetic knowledge had been communicated to its
wonderful animal intelligence.
That night I spoke to Bickley about the matter, repeating
exactly what had passed. As I expected, he smiled in his grave,
rather sarcastic way, and made light of it.
"My dear Humphrey," he said, "don't
torment yourself about such
fancies. They are of
everydayoccurrence among women in your
wife's condition. Sometimes they take one form, sometimes
another. When she has got her baby you will hear no more of
them."
I tried to be comforted but in vain.
The days and weeks went by like a long
nightmare and in due
course the event happened. Bickley was not attending the case; it
was not in his line, he said, and he preferred that where a
friend's wife was
concerned, somebody else should be called in.
So it was put in
charge of a very good local man with a large
experience in such
domestic matters.
How am I to tell of it? Everything went wrong; as for the
details, let them be. Ultimately Bickley did
operate, and if
surpassing skill could have saved her, it would have been done.
But the other man had misjudged the conditions; it was too late,
nothing could help either mother or child, a little girl who died
shortly after she was born but not before she had been
christened, also by the name of Natalie.
I was called in to say
farewell to my wife and found her
radiant,
triumphant even in her weakness.
"I know now," she whispered in a faint voice. "I understood as
the chloroform passed away, but I cannot tell you. Everything is
quite well, my
darling. Go where you seem called to go, far away.
Oh! the wonderful place in which you will find me, not knowing
that you have found me. Good-bye for a little while; only for a
little while, my own, my own!"
Then she died. And for a time I too seemed to die, but could
not. I buried her and the child here at Fulcombe; or rather I
buried their ashes since I could not
endure that her
beloved body
should see corruption.
Afterwards, when all was over, I spoke of these last words of
Natalie's with both Bickley and Bastin, for somehow I seemed to
wish to learn their separate views.
The latter I may explain, had been present at the end in his
spiritual
capacity, but I do not think that he in the least
understood the nature of the drama which was passing before his
eyes. His prayers and the christening absorbed all his attention,
and he never was a man who could think of more than one thing at
a time.
When I told him exactly what had happened and
repeated the
words that Natalie spoke, he was much interested in his own
nebulous way, and said that it was
delightful to meet with an
example of a good Christian, such as my wife had been, who
actually saw something of Heaven before she had gone there. His
own faith was, he thanked God, fairly
robust, but still an
undoubted
occurrence of the sort acted as a
refreshment, "like
rain on a
pasture when it is rather dry, you know," he added,
breaking into simile.
I remarked that she had not seemed to speak in the sense he
indicated, but appeared to
allude to something quite near at hand
and more or less immediate.
"I don't know that there is anything nearer at hand than the
Hereafter," he answered. "I expect she meant that you will
probably soon die and join her in Paradise, if you are
worthy to
do so. But of course it is not wise to put too much reliance upon
words
spoken by people at the last, because often they don't
quite know what they are
saying. Indeed sometimes I think this
was so in the case of my own wife, who really seemed to me to
talk a good deal of
rubbish. Good-bye, I promised to see Widow
Jenkins this afternoon about having her varicose veins cut out,
and I mustn't stop here
wasting time in pleasant conversation.