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on this occasion thoroughly merited its name, he held in one hand a

lighted candle and in the other a watch, into which the soul of a



dead plumber seemed to have passed. A box of matches lay at his

feet and was resorted to on the fairly frequent occasions when the



candle succumbed to the night breezes. The house loomed inscrutable

in the middle distance, but as Octavian conscientiously repeated the



formula of his penance he felt certain that three pairs of solemn

eyes were watching his moth-shared vigil.



And the next morning his eyes were gladdened by a sheet of copy-book

paper lying beside the blank wall, on which was written the message



"Un-Beast."

THE PHANTOM LUNCHEON



"The Smithly-Dubbs are in Town," said Sir James. "I wish you would

show them some attention. Ask them to lunch with you at the Ritz or



somewhere."

"From the little I've seen of the Smithly-Dubbs I don't thing I want



to cultivate their acquaintance," said Lady Drakmanton.

"They always work for us at election times," said her husband; "I



don't suppose they influence very many votes, but they have an uncle

who is on one of my ward committees, and another uncle speaks



sometimes at some of our less important meetings. Those sort of

people expect some return in the shape of hospitality."



"Expect it!" exclaimed Lady Drakmanton; "the Misses Smithly-Dubb do

more than that; they almost demand it. They belong to my club, and



hang about the lobby just about lunch-time, all three of them, with

their tongues hanging out of their mouths and the six-course look in



their eyes. If I were to breathe the word 'lunch' they would hustle

me into a taxi and scream 'Ritz' or 'Dieudonne's' to the driver



before I knew what was happening."

"All the same, I think you ought to ask them to a meal of some



sort," persisted Sir James.

"I consider that showing hospitality to the Smithly-Dubbs is



carrying Free Food principles to a regrettable extreme," said Lady

Drakmanton; "I've entertained the Joneses and the Browns and the



Snapheimers and the Lubrikoffs, and heaps of others whose names I

forget, but I don't see why I should inflict the society of the



Misses Smithly-Dubb on myself for a solid hour. Imagine it, sixty

minutes, more or less, of unrelenting gobble and gabble. Why can't



YOU take them on, Milly?" she asked, turning hopefully to her

sister.



"I don't know them," said Milly hastily.

"All the better; you can pass yourself off as me. People say that



we are so alike that they can hardly tell us apart, and I've only

spoken to these tiresome young women about twice in my life, at



committee-rooms, and bowed to them in the club. Any of the club

page-boys will point them out to you; they're always to be found



lolling about the hall just before lunch-time."

"My dear Betty, don't be absurd," protested Milly; "I've got some



people lunching with me at the Carlton to-morrow, and I'm leaving

Town the day afterwards."



"What time is your lunch to-morrow?" asked Lady Drakmanton

reflectively.



"Two o'clock," said Milly.

"Good," said her sister; "the Smithly-Dubbs shall lunch with me to-



morrow. It shall be rather an amusing lunch-party. At least, I

shall be amused."



The last two remarks she made to herself. Other people did not

always appreciate her ideas of humour. Sir James never did.



The next day Lady Drakmanton made some marked variations in her

usual toilet effects. She dressed her hair in an unaccustomed



manner, and put on a hat that added to the transformation of her

appearance. When she had made one or two minor alterations she was



sufficiently unlike her usual smart self to produce some hesitation

in the greeting which the Misses Smithly-Dubb bestowed on her in the



club-lobby. She responded, however, with a readiness which set

their doubts at rest.






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