not once
flutter or try to get away; it only throbbed and bled and
looked at him. Curdie's heart began to grow very large in his
bosom. What could it mean? It was nothing but a
pigeon, and why
should he not kill a
pigeon? But the fact was that not till this
very moment had he ever known what a
pigeon was. A good many
discoveries of a similar kind have to be made by most of us. Once
more it opened its eyes - then closed them again, and its throbbing
ceased. Curdie gave a sob: its last look reminded him of the
princess - he did not know why. He remembered how hard he had
laboured to set her beyond danger, and yet what dangers she had had
to
encounter for his sake: they had been saviours to each other -
and what had he done now? He had stopped saving, and had begun
killing! What had he been sent into the world for? Surely not to
be a death to its joy and
loveliness. He had done the thing that
was
contrary to
gladness; he was a destroyer! He was not the
Curdie he had been meant to be!
Then the
underground waters gushed from the boy's heart. And with
the tears came the
remembrance that a white
pigeon, just before the
princess went away with her father, came from somewhere - yes, from
the
grandmother's lamp, and flew round the king and Irene and
himself, and then flew away: this might be that very
pigeon!
Horrible to think! And if it wasn't, yet it was a white
pigeon,
the same as this. And if she kept a great Many
pigeons - and white
ones, as Irene had told him, then whose
pigeon could he have killed
but the grand old
princess's?
Suddenly everything round about him seemed against him. The red
sunset stung him; the rocks frowned at him; the sweet wind that had
been laving his face as he walked up the hill dropped - as if he
wasn't fit to be kissed any more. Was the whole world going to
cast him out? Would he have to stand there forever, not knowing
what to do, with the dead
pigeon in his hand? Things looked bad
indeed. Was the whole world going to make a work about a
pigeon -
a white
pigeon? The sun went down. Great clouds gathered over the
west, and shortened the
twilight. The wind gave a howl, and then
lay down again. The clouds gathered thicker. Then came a
rumbling. He thought it was
thunder. It was a rock that fell
inside the mountain. A goat ran past him down the hill, followed
by a dog sent to fetch him home. He thought they were goblin
creatures, and trembled. He used to
despise them. And still he
held the dead
pigeontenderly in his hand.
It grew darker and darker. An evil something began to move in his
heart. 'What a fool I am!' he said to himself. Then he grew
angry, and was just going to throw the bird from him and whistle,
when a
brightness shone all round him. He lifted his eyes, and saw
a great globe of light - like silver at the hottest heat: he had
once seen silver run from the
furnace. It shone from somewhere
above the roofs of the castle: it must be the great old
princess's
moon! How could she be there? Of course she was not there! He
had asked the whole household, and nobody knew anything about her
or her globe either. it couldn't be! And yet what did that
signify, when there was the white globe shining, and here was the
dead white bird in his hand? That moment the
pigeon gave a little
flutter. 'It's not dead!' cried Curdie, almost with a
shriek. The
same
instant he was
running full speed toward the castle, never
letting his heels down, lest he should shake the poor, wounded
bird.
CHAPTER 3
The Mistress of the Silver Moon
When Curdie reached the castle, and ran into the little garden in
front of it, there stood the door wide open. This was as he had
hoped, for what could he have said if he had had to knock at it?
Those whose business it is to open doors, so often mistake and shut
them! But the woman now in
charge often puzzled herself greatly to
account for the strange fact that however often she shut the door,
which, like the rest, she took a great deal of unnecessary trouble
to do, she was certain, the next time she went to it, to find it
open. I speak now of the great front door, of course: the back
door she as persistently kept wide: if people could only go in by
that, she said, she would then know what sort they were, and what
they wanted. But she would neither have known what sort Curdie
was, nor what he wanted, and would
assuredly have denied him
admittance, for she knew nothing of who was in the tower. So the
front door was left open for him, and in he walked.
But where to go next he could not tell. It was not quite dark: a
dull, shineless
twilight filled the place. All he knew was that he
must go up, and that proved enough for the present, for there he