We saw not clearly nor understood,
But, yielding ourselves to the master hand,
Each in his part, as best he could,
We played it through as the author planned.
It was not, in his own
conception, a "war against war" that he was waging;
it was simply a fight for freedom and for France. Some of us may hope
and believe that, in after years, when he was at leisure
to view history in
perspective and carry his
psychology a little deeper,
he would have allowed, if not more potency, at any rate more adaptability,
to the human will. In order to do so, it would not have been necessary
to
abandon his fatalistic creed. He would have seen, perhaps,
that even if we only will what we have to will, the factors which shape
the will -- of the individual, the nation, or the race -- are always changing,
and that it is not only possible but
probable that the factors
which make for peace may one day gain the upper hand of those which
(for
perfectlydefinite and tangible reasons) have
hitherto made for war.
The fact remains, however, that he shouldered his knapsack
without any theoretic distaste for the soldier's calling.
In so far he was more happily
situated than thousands who have made
all the better soldiers for their
intense detestation of the stupidity of war.
But this in no way detracts from his
loyalty to his personal ideal,
or from the high
chivalry of his
devotion to France.
The story of his life as a soldier shall be told, so far as possible,
in his own words.
After some brief
preliminary training at Rouen he was sent to Toulouse.
Thence, on September 28, 1914, he wrote as follows:
==
2me Regiment Etranger,
Bataillon C., 1re. Cie, 3me Section.
Toulouse, Sept. 28, 1914.
Dear Mother,
. . . We have been putting in our time here at very hard drilling,
and are
supposed to have
learned in six weeks what the ordinary recruit,
in times of peace, takes all his two years at. We rise at 5,
and work stops in the afternoon at 5. A twelve hours day at one sou a day.
I hope to earn higher wages than this in time to come, but I never expect
to work harder. The early rising hour is splendid for it gives one the chance
to see the most beautiful part of these beautiful autumn days in the South.
We march up to a lovely open field on the end of the ridge
behind the barracks, walking right into the rising sun.
From this panorama, spread about on three sides is incomparably fine
-- yellow cornfields, vineyards, harvest-fields where
the workers and their teams can be seen moving about in tiny figures --
poplars, little hamlets and church-towers, and far away to the south
the blue line of the Pyrenees, the high peaks capped with snow.
It makes one in love with life, it is all so
peaceful and beautiful.
But Nature to me is not only hills and blue skies and flowers,
but the Universe, the totality of things,
reality as it most obviously
presents itself to us; and in this
universestrife and sternness
play as big a part as love and
tenderness, and cannot be shirked
by one whose will it is to rule his life in
accordance with the cosmic forces
he sees in play about him. I hope you see the thing as I do, and think
that I have done well, being without responsibilities and with no one
to suffer
materially by my decision, in
taking upon my shoulders, too,
the burden that so much of
humanity is
suffering under,
and, rather than stand ingloriously aside when the opportunity was given me,
doing my share for the side that I think right. . . .
==
The
battalion must have left Toulouse almost immediately
after this was written, for in a post-card of October 10,
from the Camp de Mailly, Aube, he says that they have been there ten days.
A week later he wrote:
==
. . . After two weeks here and less than two months from enlistment,
we are
actually going at last to the firing line. By the time
you receive this we shall already perhaps have had our `bapteme de feu'.
We have been engaged in the hardest kind of hard work
-- two weeks of beautiful autumn weather on the whole,