次见面所谈的话,现在都能一五一十地记得清
清楚楚。他许许多多话到现在还活灵活现地出
现在她的记忆里。于是她突然想到他跟一个陌
生人讲这些话是多么冒昧,她奇怪自己以前为
什么这样疏忽。她发觉他那样自称自赞,是多
么有失体统,而且他又是多么言行不符。她记
起了他曾经夸称他自己并不是怕看到达西先生
,又说达西先生要走就走,他可决不肯离开此
地;然而,下一个星期在尼日斐花园开的舞会
,他毕竟没有敢去。她也还记得在尼日斐花园
那人家没有搬走以前,他从来没跟另外一个人
谈起过他自己的身世,可是那家人家一搬走以
后,这件事就到处议论纷纷了。虽然他曾经向
她说过,为了尊重达西的先父,他老是不愿意
揭露那位少爷的过错,可是他毕竟还是肆无忌
惮,毫不犹疑地在破坏达西先生的人格。
How differently did every thing now appear in which he was concerned! His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary; and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at any thing. His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive; he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown. Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter; and in farther justification of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow that Mr. Bingley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair; that, proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never, in the whole course of their acquaintance -- an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of intimacy with his ways -- seen any thing that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust -- any thing that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits. That among his own connections he was esteemed and valued -- that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother, and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of someamiable feeling. That had his actions been what Wickham represented them, so gross a violation of every thing right could hardly have been concealed from the world; and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bingley, was incomprehensible.
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凡是有关他的事情,怎么这样前后悬殊!他向
金小姐献殷勤一事,现在看来,也完全是从金
钱着眼,这实在可恶;金小姐的钱并不多,可
是这并不能说明他欲望不高,却只能证实他一
见到钱就起贪心。他对待她自己的动机也不见
得好;不是他误会她很有钱,就是为了要搏得
她的欢心来满足他自己的虚荣;只怪她自己不
小心,竟让他看出了她对他有好感。她越想越
觉得他一无可取,她禁不住又想起当初吉英向
彬格莱先生问起这事时,彬格莱先生说,达西
先生在这件事情上毫无过失,于是她更觉得达
西有理了。尽管达西的态度傲慢可厌,可是从
他们认识以来(特别是最近他们时常见面,她
对他的行为作风更加熟悉)她从来没有见过他
有什么品行不端或是蛮不讲理的地方,没有看
见过他有任何违反教义或是伤风败俗的恶习;
他的亲友们都很尊敬他,器重他,连韦翰也承
认他不愧为一个好哥哥,她还常常听到达西爱
抚备至地说起他自己的妹妹,这说明他还是具
有亲切的情感。假使达西的所作所为当真象韦
翰说的那样坏,那么,他种种胡作非为自难掩
尽天下人的耳目;以一个为非作歹到这样地步
的人,竟会跟彬格莱先生那样一个好人交成朋
友,真是令人不可思议。
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She grew absolutelyashamed of herself. -- Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think, without feeling that she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.
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她越想越惭愧得无地自容。不论想到达西也好
,想到韦翰也好,她总是觉得自己以往未免太
盲目,太偏心,对人存了偏见,而且不近情理
。
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"How despicably have I acted!" she cried. -- "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! -- I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity, in useless or blameable distrust. -- How humiliating is this discovery! -- Yet, how just a humiliation! -- Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity, not love, has been my folly. -- Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment, I never knew myself."
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她不禁大声叫道:“我做得多么卑鄙!我一向
自负有知人之明!我一向自以为有本领!一向
看不起姐姐那种宽大的胸襟!为了满足我自己
的虚荣心,我待人老是不着边际地猜忌多端,
而且还要做得使我自己无懈可击。这是我多么
可耻的地方!可是,这种耻辱又是多么活该!
即使我真的爱上了人家,也不会盲目到这样该
死的地步。然而我的愚蠢,并不是在恋爱方面
,而是有虚荣心方面。开头刚刚认识他们两位
的时候,一个喜欢我,我很高兴,一个怠慢我
,我就生气,因此造成了我的偏见和无知,遇
到与他们有关的事情,我就不能明辨是非。我
到现在才算不了自知之明。”
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From herself to Jane -- from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy's explanationthere had appeared very insufficient; and she read it again. Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. -- How could she deny that credit to his assertions, in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? -- He declared himself to have been totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment; -- and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had always been. -- Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. -- She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.
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她从自己身上想到吉英身上,又从吉英身上想
到彬格莱身上,她的思想联成了一条直线,使
她立刻想起了达西先生对这件事的解释非常不
够;于是她又把他的信读了一遍。第二遍读起
来效果就大不相同了。她既然在一件事情上不
得不信任他,在另一件事上又怎能不信任呢?
他说他完全没想到她姐姐对彬格莱先生有意思
,于是她不禁想起了从前趱绿蒂一贯的看法。
她也不胡否认他把吉英形容得很恰当。她觉得
吉英虽然爱心炽烈,可是表面上却不露形迹,
她平常那种安然自得的神气,实在叫人看不出
她的多愁善感。
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When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned, in terms of such mortifying yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded, as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers. The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had been thus self-attracted by the rest of her family; -- and as she considered that Jane's disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond any thing she had ever known before.
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当她读到他提起她家里人的那一段时,其中措
辞固然伤人感情,然而那一番责难却也入情入
理,于是她越发觉得惭愧。那真是一针见血的
指责,使她否认不得;他特别指出,尼日斐花
园建交舞会上的种种情形,是第一次造成他反
对这门婚姻的原因──老实说,那种情形固然
使他难以忘怀,自己也同样难以忘怀。至于他
对她自己和对她姐姐的恭维,她也不是无动于
中。她听了很舒服,可是她并没有因此而感到
安慰,因为她家里人不争气,招来他的訾议,
并不能从恭维中得到补偿。她认为吉英的失望
完全是自己的至亲骨肉一手造成的,她又想到
,她们两姐妹的优点也一定会因为至亲骨肉的
行为失检而受到损害,想到这里,她感到从来
没有过的沮丧。
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After wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought; re-considering events, determining probabilities, and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation.
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她沿着小路走了两个钟头,前前后后地左思右
想,又把好多事情重新考虑了一番,判断一下
是否确有其事。这一次突然的变更,实在事关
紧要,她得尽量面对事实。她现在觉得疲倦了
,又想到出来已久,应该回去了;她希望走进
屋子的时候脸色能象平常一样愉快,又决计把
那些心思抑制一下,免得跟人家谈起话来态度
不自然。
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She was immediately told, that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only for a few minutes to take leave, but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found. -- Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him; she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object. She could think only of her letter.
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回到屋子里,人家立刻告诉她说,在她出外的
当儿,罗新斯的两位先生都来看过她了,达西
先生是来辞行的,只待了几分钟就走了,费茨
威廉上校却跟她们在一起坐了足足一个钟头,
盼望着她回来,几乎想要跑出去找到她才肯罢
休。伊丽莎白虽然表面上装出很惋惜的样子,
内心里却因为没有见到这位访客而感到万分高
兴。她心目中再也没有费茨威廉了,她想到的
只有那封信。
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