ROSALIND. What shall be our sport, then?
CELIA. Let us sit and mock the good
housewife Fortune from her
wheel, that her gifts may
henceforth be bestowed equally.
ROSALIND. I would we could do so; for her benefits are mightily
misplaced; and the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her
gifts to women.
CELIA. 'Tis true; for those that she makes fair she
scarce makes
honest; and those that she makes honest she makes very
ill-favouredly.
ROSALIND. Nay; now thou goest from Fortune's office to Nature's:
Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of
Nature.
Enter TOUCHSTONE
CELIA. No; when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by
Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to
flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off
the argument?
ROSALIND. Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when
Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of Nature's wit.
CELIA. Peradventure this is not Fortune's work neither, but
Nature's, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of
such goddesses, and hath sent this natural for our whetstone; for
always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How
now, wit! W
hitherwander you?
TOUCHSTONE. Mistress, you must come away to your father.
CELIA. Were you made the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE. No, by mine honour; but I was bid to come for you.
ROSALIND. Where
learned you that oath, fool?
TOUCHSTONE. Of a certain
knight that swore by his honour they were
good pancakes, and swore by his honour the
mustard was
naught.
Now I'll stand to it, the pancakes were
naught and the
mustardwas good, and yet was not the
knight forsworn.
CELIA. How prove you that, in the great heap of your knowledge?
ROSALIND. Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear
by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA. By our beards, if we had them, thou art.
TOUCHSTONE. By my knavery, if I had it, then I were. But if you
swear by that that not, you are not forsworn; no more was this
knight, swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he
had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancackes or
that
mustard.
CELIA. Prithee, who is't that thou mean'st?
TOUCHSTONE. One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
CELIA. My father's love is enough to honour him. Enough, speak no
more of him; you'll be whipt for
taxation one of these days.
TOUCHSTONE. The more pity that fools may not speak
wisely what wise
men do foolishly.
CELIA. By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little wit that
fools have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have
makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
Enter LE BEAU
ROSALIND. With his mouth full of news.
CELIA. Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
ROSALIND. Then shall we be news-cramm'd.
CELIA. All the better; we shall be the more marketable. Bon jour,
Monsieur Le Beau. What's the news?
LE BEAU. Fair Princess, you have lost much good sport.
CELIA. Sport! of what colour?
LE BEAU. What colour, madam? How shall I answer you?
ROSALIND. As wit and fortune will.
TOUCHSTONE. Or as the Destinies decrees.
CELIA. Well said; that was laid on with a trowel.
TOUCHSTONE. Nay, if I keep not my rank-
ROSALIND. Thou losest thy old smell.
LE BEAU. You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good
wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
ROSALIND. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
LE BEAU. I will tell you the
beginning, and, if it please your
ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and
here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.
CELIA. Well, the
beginning, that is dead and buried.
LE BEAU. There comes an old man and his three sons-
CELIA. I could match this
beginning with an old tale.
LE BEAU. Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence.
ROSALIND. With bills on their necks: 'Be it known unto all men by
these presents'-
LE BEAU. The
eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the Duke's
wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of
his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him. So he serv'd
the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man,
their father, making such
pitiful dole over them that all the
beholders take his part with weeping.
ROSALIND. Alas!
TOUCHSTONE. But what is the sport,
monsieur, that the ladies have
lost?
LE BEAU. Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE. Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time
that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
CELIA. Or I, I promise thee.
ROSALIND. But is there any else longs to see this broken music in
his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we
see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU. You must, if you stay here; for here is the place
appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.
CELIA. Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.
Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, LORDS, ORLANDO,
CHARLES, and ATTENDANTS
FREDERICK. Come on; since the youth will not be
entreated, his own
peril on his forwardness.
ROSALIND. Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU. Even he, madam.
CELIA. Alas, he is too young; yet he looks successfully.
FREDERICK. How now, daughter and cousin! Are you crept
hither to
see the wrestling?
ROSALIND. Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.
FREDERICK. You will take little delight in it, I can tell you,
there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger's youth
I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be
entreated. Speak to
him, ladies; see if you can move him.
CELIA. Call him
hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
FREDERICK. Do so; I'll not be by.
[DUKE FREDERICK goes apart]
LE BEAU. Monsieur the Challenger, the Princess calls for you.
ORLANDO. I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND. Young man, have you challeng'd Charles the wrestler?
ORLANDO. No, fair Princess; he is the general challenger. I come
but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.
CELIA. Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years.
You have seen cruel proof of this man's strength; if you saw
yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment, the
fear of your adventure would
counsel you to a more equal
enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to
embrace your own
safety and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND. Do, young sir; your
reputation shall not
therefore be
misprised: we will make it our suit to the Duke that the
wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO. I
beseech you,
punish me not with your hard thoughts,
wherein I
confess me much
guilty to deny so fair and excellent
ladies any thing. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go
with me to my trial;
wherein if I be foil'd there is but one
sham'd that was never
gracious; if kill'd, but one dead that is
willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none
to
lament me; the world no
injury, for in it I have nothing; only
in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when
I have made it empty.
ROSALIND. The little strength that I have, I would it were with
you.
CELIA. And mine to eke out hers.
ROSALIND. Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceiv'd in you!
CELIA. Your heart's desires be with you!
CHARLES. Come, where is this young
gallant that is so
desirous to
lie with his mother earth?
ORLANDO. Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more
modest working.
FREDERICK. You shall try but one fall.
CHARLES. No, I
warrant your Grace, you shall not
entreat him to a
second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.
ORLANDO. You mean to mock me after; you should not have mock'd me
before; but come your ways.
ROSALIND. Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!
CELIA. I would I were
invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the
leg. [They wrestle]
ROSALIND. O excellent young man!
CELIA. If I had a
thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should
down.
[CHARLES is thrown. Shout]
FREDERICK. No more, no more.
ORLANDO. Yes, I
beseech your Grace; I am not yet well breath'd.
FREDERICK. How dost thou, Charles?
LE BEAU. He cannot speak, my lord.
FREDERICK. Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?
ORLANDO. Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de
Boys.
FREDERICK. I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteem'd thy father honourable,
But I did find him still mine enemy.
Thou shouldst have better pleas'd me with this deed,
Hadst thou descended from another house.
But fare thee well; thou art a
gallant youth;
I would thou hadst told me of another father.
Exeunt DUKE, train, and LE BEAU
CELIA. Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
ORLANDO. I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,
His youngest son- and would not change that calling
To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ROSALIND. My father lov'd Sir Rowland as his soul,
And all the world was of my father's mind;
Had I before known this young man his son,
I should have given him tears unto
entreaties
Ere he should thus have ventur'd.
CELIA. Gentle cousin,
Let us go thank him, and
encourage him;
My father's rough and
envious disposition
Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserv'd;
If you do keep your promises in love
But
justly as you have exceeded all promise,
Your
mistress shall be happy.
ROSALIND. Gentleman, [Giving him a chain from her neck]
Wear this for me; one out of suits with fortune,
That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.
Shall we go, coz?
CELIA. Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.
ORLANDO. Can I not say 'I thank you'? My better parts
Are all thrown down; and that which here stands up
Is but a quintain, a mere
lifeless block.
ROSALIND. He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes;
I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?
Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown
More than your enemies.
CELIA. Will you go, coz?
ROSALIND. Have with you. Fare you well.