'Twas all he had, poor fellow!
"I often wonder," he would say,

When very, very far away,
"If ANGELINA wears it?

A plan has entered in my head:
I will pretend that I am dead,

And see how ANGY bears it."
The news he made a messmate tell.

His ANGELINA bore it well,
No sign gave she of crazing;

But, steady as the Inchcape Rock,
His ANGELINA stood the shock

With fortitude amazing.
She said, "Some one I must elect

Poor ANGELINA to protect
From all who wish to harm her.

Since worthy CAPTAIN TODD is dead,
I rather feel inclined to wed

A comfortable farmer."
A comfortable farmer came

(BASSANIO TYLER was his name),
Who had no end of treasure.

He said, "My noble gal, be mine!"
The noble gal did not decline,

But simply said, "With pleasure."
When this was told to CAPTAIN TODD,

At first he thought it rather odd,
And felt some perturbation;

But very long he did not grieve,
He thought he could a way perceive

To SUCH a situation!
"I'll not reveal myself," said he,

"Till they are both in the Ecclesiastical arena;
Then suddenly I will appear,

And paralysing them with fear,
Demand my ANGELINA!"

At length arrived the wedding day;
Accoutred in the usual way

Appeared the bridal body;
The worthyclergyman began,

When in the gallant Captain ran
And cried, "Behold your TODDY!"

The bridegroom, p'raps, was terrified,
And also possibly the bride -

The bridesmaids WERE affrighted;
But ANGELINA, noble soul,

Contrived her feelings to control,
And really seemed delighted.

"My bride!" said gallant CAPTAIN TODD,
"She's mine, uninteresting clod!

My own, my darling charmer!"
"Oh dear," said she, "you're just too late -

I'm married to, I beg to state,
This comfortable farmer!"

"Indeed," the farmer said, "she's mine:
You've been and cut it far too fine!"

"I see," said TODD, "I'm beaten."
And so he went to sea once more,

"Sensation" he for aye forswore,
And married on her native shore

A lady whom he'd met before -
A lovely Otaheitan.

Ballad: Tempora Mutantur
Letters, letters, letters, letters!

Some that please and some that bore,
Some that threaten prison fetters

(Metaphorically, fetters
Such as bind insolvent debtors) -

Invitations by the score.
One from COGSON, WILES, and RAILER,

My attorneys, off the Strand;
One from COPPERBLOCK, my tailor -

My unreasonabletailor -
One in FLAGG'S disgusting hand.

One from EPHRAIM and MOSES,
Wanting coin without a doubt,

I should like to pull their noses -
Their uncompromising noses;

One from ALICE with the roses -
Ah, I know what that's about !

Time was when I waited, waited
For the missives that she wrote,

Humble postmen execrated -
Loudly, deeply execrated -

When I heard I wasn't fated
To be gladdened with a note!

Time was when I'd not have bartered
Of her little pen a dip

For a peerage duly gartered -
For a peerage starred and gartered -

With a palace-office chartered,
Or a Secretaryship.

But the time for that is over,
And I wish we'd never met.

I'm afraid I've proved a rover -
I'm afraid a heartless rover -

Quarters in a place like Dover
Tend to make a man forget.

Bills for carriages and horses,
Bills for wine and light cigar,

Matters that concern the Forces -
News that may affect the Forces -

News affecting my resources,
Much more interesting are!

And the tiny little paper,
With the words that seem to run

From her little fingers taper
(They are very small and taper),

By the tailor and the draper
Are in interest outdone.

And unopened it's remaining!
I can read her gentle hope -

Her entreaties, uncomplaining
(She was always uncomplaining),

Her devotion never waning -
Through the little envelope!

Ballad: At A Pantomime. By A Bilious One
An Actor sits in doubtful gloom,

His stock-in-trade unfurled,
In a damp funereal dressing-room

In the Theatre Royal, World.
He comes to town at Christmas-time,

And braves its icy breath,
To play in that favourite pantomime,

HARLEQUIN LIFE AND DEATH.
A hoary flowing wig his weird

Unearthly cranium caps,
He hangs a long benevolent beard

On a pair of empty chaps.
To smooth his ghastly features down

The actor's art he cribs, -
A long and a flowing padded gown.

Bedecks his rattling ribs.
He cries, "Go on - begin, begin!

Turn on the light of lime -
I'm dressed for jolly Old Christmas, in

A favourite pantomime!"
The curtain's up - the stage all black -

Time and the year nigh sped -
Time as an advertising quack -

The Old Year nearly dead.
The wand of Time is waved, and lo!

Revealed Old Christmas stands,
And little children chuckle and crow,

And laugh and clap their hands.
The cruel old scoundrel brightens up

At the death of the Olden Year,
And he waves a gorgeous golden cup,

And bids the world good cheer.
The little ones hail the festive King, -

No thought can make them sad.
Their laughter comes with a sounding ring,

They clap and crow like mad!
They only see in the humbug old

A holiday every year,
And handsome gifts, and joys untold,

And unaccustomed cheer.
The old ones, palsied, blear, and hoar,

Their breasts in anguish beat -
They've seen him seventy times before,

How well they know the cheat!
They've seen that ghastly pantomime,

They've felt its blighting breath,
They know that rollicking Christmas-time

Meant Cold and Want and Death, -
Starvation - Poor Law Union fare -

And deadly cramps and chills,
And illness - illness everywhere,

And crime, and Christmas bills.
They know Old Christmas well, I ween,

Those men of ripened age;
They've often, often, often seen

That Actor off the stage!
They see in his gay rotundity

A clumsy stuffed-out dress -
They see in the cup he waves on high

A tinselled emptiness.
Those aged men so lean and wan,

They've seen it all before,
They know they'll see the charlatan

But twice or three times more.
And so they bear with dance and song,

And crimson foil and green,
They wearily sit, and grimly long

For the Transformation Scene.
Ballad: King Borria Bungalee Boo

KING BORRIA BUNGALEE BOO
Was a man-eating African swell;

His sigh was a hullaballoo,
His whisper a horrible yell -

A horrible, horrible yell!
Four subjects, and all of them male,

To BORRIA doubled the knee,
They were once on a far larger scale,

But he'd eaten the balance, you see
("Scale" and "balance" is punning, you see).

There was haughty PISH-TUSH-POOH-BAH,
There was lumbering DOODLE-DUM-DEY,

Despairing ALACK-A-DEY-AH,
And good little TOOTLE-TUM-TEH -

Exemplary TOOTLE-TUM-TEH.

• pretend [pri´tend] v.假装；借口；妄求 (初中英语单词)
• worthy [´wə:ði] a.有价值的；值得的 (初中英语单词)
• wedding [´wediŋ] n.婚礼，结婚 (初中英语单词)
• gallant [´gælənt, gə´lænt] a.英勇的；华丽的 (初中英语单词)
• darling [´dɑ:liŋ] n.爱人 a.亲爱的 (初中英语单词)
• threaten [´θretn] v.恐吓；有....的危险 (初中英语单词)
• tailor [´teilə] n.裁缝 vt.裁制(衣服) (初中英语单词)
• affect [ə´fekt] vt.影响；感动；假装 (初中英语单词)
• devotion [di´vəuʃən] n.献身；忠诚；热爱 (初中英语单词)
• advertising [´ædvətaiziŋ] n.广告a.广告的 (初中英语单词)
• laughter [´lɑ:ftə] n.笑，笑声 (初中英语单词)
• holiday [´hɔlidi] n.假日，假期，节日 (初中英语单词)
• deadly [´dedli] a.致命的 ad.死一般地 (初中英语单词)
• illness [´ilnis] n.生病，不健康，疾病 (初中英语单词)
• whisper [´wispə] v.耳语 n.低语；沙沙声 (初中英语单词)
• horrible [´hɔrəbəl] a.可怕的；恐怖的 (初中英语单词)
• lumbering [´lʌmbəriŋ] n.伐木(业) (初中英语单词)
• clergyman [´klə:dʒimən] n.牧师；教士 (高中英语单词)
• doubtful [´dautful] a.怀疑的，可疑的 (高中英语单词)
• ghastly [´gɑ:stli] a.苍白的；可怕的 (高中英语单词)
• chuckle [´tʃʌkl] vi.&n.轻声笑；暗自笑 (高中英语单词)
• gorgeous [´gɔ:dʒəs] a.华丽的；宜人的 (高中英语单词)
• anguish [´æŋgwiʃ] n.(极度的)痛苦；苦恼 (高中英语单词)
• clumsy [´klʌmzi] a.笨拙的；粗俗的 (高中英语单词)
• crimson [´krimzən] a.&n.深(紫)红(的) (高中英语单词)
• grimly [´grimli] ad.严厉地；坚强地 (高中英语单词)
• haughty [´hɔ:ti] a.傲慢的，高傲的 (高中英语单词)
• bridal [´braidl] a.&n.婚礼(的) (英语四级单词)
• bridegroom [´braidgru:m] n.新郎 (英语四级单词)
• unreasonable [ʌn´ri:zənəbl] a.不合理的；荒唐的 (英语四级单词)
• wearily [´wiərili] ad.疲倦地；厌烦地 (英语四级单词)
• transformation [,trænsfə´meiʃən] n.转化；转变；改造 (英语四级单词)
• fortitude [´fɔ:titju:d] n.坚忍；刚毅 (英语六级单词)
• ecclesiastical [i,kli:zi´æstikəl] n.基督教会的；教士的 (英语六级单词)
• benevolent [bi´nevələnt] a.仁慈的；乐善好施的 (英语六级单词)
• scoundrel [´skaundrəl] n.&a.无赖(的) (英语六级单词)
• festive [´festiv] a.喜庆的，欢乐的 (英语六级单词)