From scholastic trammels free,
Each a little bit afraid is,
Wondering what the world can be!
Is it but a world of trouble -
Sadness set to song?
Is its beauty but a bubble
Bound to break ere long?
Are its palaces and pleasures
Fantasies that fade?
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under,
From scholastic trammels free,
And we wonder - how we wonder! -
What on earth the world can be!
Ballad: Ah Me!
When
maiden loves, she sits and sighs,
She wanders to and fro;
Unbidden tear-drops fill her eyes,
And to all questions she replies,
With a sad heigho!
'Tis but a little word - "heigho!"
So soft, 'tis scarcely heard - "heigho!"
An idle
breath -
Yet life and death
May hang upon a maid's "heigho!"
When
maiden loves, she mopes apart,
As owl mopes on a tree;
Although she
keenly feels the smart,
She cannot tell what ails her heart,
With its sad "Ah me!"
'Tis but a foolish sigh - "Ah me!"
Born but to droop and die - "Ah me!"
Yet all the sense
Of eloquence
Lies
hidden in a maid's "Ah me!"
Ballad: The Duke Of Plaza-Toro
In
enterprise of
martial kind,
When there was any fighting,
He led his
regiment from behind
(He found it less exciting).
But when away his
regiment ran,
His place was at the fore, O-
That celebrated,
Cultivated,
Underrated
Nobleman,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
In the first and
foremostflight, ha, ha!
You always found that
knight, ha, ha!
That celebrated,
Cultivated,
Underrated
Nobleman,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
When, to evade Destruction's hand,
To hide they all proceeded,
No soldier in that
gallant band
Hid half as well as he did.
He lay concealed throughout the war,
And so preserved his gore, O!
That unaffected,
Undetected,
Well connected
Warrior,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
In every doughty deed, ha, ha!
He always took the lead, ha, ha!
That unaffected,
Undetected,
Well connected
Warrior,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
When told that they would all be shot
Unless they left the service,
That hero hesitated not,
So marvellous his nerve is.
He sent his
resignation in,
The first of all his corps, O!
That very knowing,
Overflowing,
Easy-going
Paladin,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
To men of grosser clay, ha, ha!
He always showed the way, ha, ha!
That very knowing,
Overflowing,
Easy-going
Paladin,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
Ballad: The Aesthete
If you're
anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line, as a man
of
culture rare,
You must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and
plant them everywhere.
You must lie upon the daisies and
discourse in novel phrases of
your
complicated state of mind
(The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle
chatter of a
transcendental kind).
And every one will say,
As you walk your
mystic way,
"If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for ME,
Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must
be!"
Be
eloquent in praise of the very dull old days which have long
since passed away,
And
convince 'em, if you can, that the reign of good QUEEN ANNE was
Culture's palmiest day.
Of course you will pooh-pooh whatever's fresh and new, and declare
it's crude and mean,
And that Art stopped short in the
cultivated court of the EMPRESS
JOSEPHINE.
And every one will say,
As you walk your
mystic way,
"If that's not good enough for him which is good enough for ME,
Why, what a very
cultivated kind of youth this kind of youth must
be!"
Then a
sentimentalpassion of a
vegetable fashion must
excite your
languid spleen,
An
attachment E LA Plato for a
bashful young potato, or a not-too-
French French bean.
Though the Philistines may
jostle, you will rank as an
apostle in
the high aesthetic band,
If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your
mediaeval hand.
And every one will say,
As you walk your
flowery way,
"If he's content with a
vegetable love which would certainly not
suit ME,
Why, what a most particularly pure young man this pure young man
must be!"
Ballad: Said I To Myself, Said I
When I went to the Bar as a very young man
(Said I to myself - said I),
I'll work on a new and original plan
(Said I to myself - said I),
I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief
Is a gentleman
worthy implicit belief,
Because his
attorney, has sent me a brief
(Said I to myself - said I!)
I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes
(Said I to myself - said I),
Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise
(Said I to myself - said I),
Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force
In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,
Have perjured themselves as a matter of course
(Said I to myself - said I!)
Ere I go into court I will read my brief through
(Said I to myself - said I),
And I'll never take work I'm
unable to do
(Said I to myself - said I).
My
learnedprofession I'll never disgrace
By
taking a fee with a grin on my face,
When I haven't been there to attend to the case
(Said I to myself - said I!)
In other
professions in which men engage
(Said I to myself - said I),
The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage,
(Said I to myself - said I),
Professional
licence, if carried too far,
Your chance of
promotion will certainly mar -
And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar
(Said I to myself - said I!)
Ballad: Sorry Her Lot
Sorry her lot who loves too well,
Heavy the heart that hopes but vainly,
Sad are the sighs that own the spell
Uttered by eyes that speak too plainly;
Heavy the sorrow that bows the head
When Love is alive and Hope is dead!
Sad is the hour when sets the Sun -
Dark is the night to Earth's poor daughters,
When to the ark the wearied one
Flies from the empty waste of waters!
Heavy the sorrow that bows the head
When Love is alive and Hope is dead!
Ballad: The Contemplative Sentry
When all night long a chap remains
On sentry-go, to chase monotony
He exercises of his brains,
That is, assuming that he's got any.
Though never nurtured in the lap
Of
luxury, yet I
admonish you,
I am an
intellectual chap,
And think of things that would
astonish you.
I often think it's comical
How Nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal,
That's born into the world alive,
Is either a little Liberal,
Or else a little Conservative!
Fal lal la!
When in that house M.P.'s divide,
If they've a brain and cerebellum, too,
They've got to leave that brain outside,
And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
But then the
prospect of a lot
Of statesmen, all in close proximity,
A-thinking for themselves, is what