Which much surprised the noble maiden,

And puzzled even her Papa.
He nourished now his flame and fanned it,

He even danced at work below.
The upper servants wouldn't stand it,

And BOWLES the butler told him so.
At length on impulseacting blindly,

His love he laid completely bare;
The gentle Earl received him kindly

And told the lad to take a chair.
"Oh, sir," the suitor uttered sadly,

"Don't give your indignation vent;
I fear you think I'm acting madly,

Perhaps you think me insolent?"
The kindly Earl repelled the notion;

His noble bosom heaved a sigh,
His fingers trembled with emotion,

A tear stood in his mild blue eye:
For, oh! the scene recalled too plainly

The half-forgotten time when he,
A boy of nine, had worshipped vainly

A governess of forty-three!
"My boy," he said, in tone consoling,

"Give up this idle fancy - do -
The song you heard my daughter trolling

Did not, indeed, refer to you.
"I feel for you, poor boy, acutely;

I would not wish to give you pain;
Your pangs I estimate minutely, -

I, too, have loved, and loved in vain.
"But still your humble rank and station

For MINNIE surely are not meet" -
He said much more in conversation

Which it were needless to repeat.
Now I'm prepared to bet a guinea,

Were this a mere dramatic case,
The page would have eloped with MINNIE,

But, no - he only left his place.
The simple Truth is my detective,

With me Sensation can't abide;
The Likely beats the mere Effective,

And Nature is my only guide.
Ballad: Pasha Bailey Ben

A proud Pasha was BAILEY BEN,
His wives were three, his tails were ten;

His form was dignified, but stout,
Men called him "Little Roundabout."

HIS IMPORTANCE
Pale Pilgrims came from o'er the sea

To wait on PASHA BAILEY B.,
All bearing presents in a crowd,

For B. was poor as well as proud.
HIS PRESENTS

They brought him onions strung on ropes,
And cold boiled beef, and telescopes,

And balls of string, and shrimps, and guns,
And chops, and tacks, and hats, and buns.

MORE OF THEM
They brought him white kid gloves, and pails,

And candlesticks, and potted quails,
And capstan-bars, and scales and weights,

And ornaments for empty grates.
WHY I MENTION THESE

My tale is not of these - oh no!
I only mention them to show

The divers gifts that divers men
Brought o'er the sea to BAILEY BEN.

HIS CONFIDANT
A confidant had BAILEY B.,

A gay Mongolian dog was he;
I am not good at Turkish names,

And so I call him SIMPLE JAMES.
HIS CONFIDANT'S COUNTENANCE

A dreadful legend you might trace
In SIMPLE JAMES'S honest face,

For there you read, in Nature's print,
"A Scoundrel of the Deepest Tint."

HIS CHARACTER
A deed of blood, or fire, or flames,

Was meat and drink to SIMPLE JAMES:
To hide his guilt he did not plan,

But owned himself a bad young man.
THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER

And why on earth good BAILEY BEN
(The wisest, noblest, best of men)

Made SIMPLE JAMES his right-hand man
Is quite beyond my mental span.

THE SAME, CONTINUED
But there - enough of gruesome deeds!

My heart, in thinking of them, bleeds;
And so let SIMPLE JAMES take wing, -

'Tis not of him I'm going to sing.
THE PASHA'S CLERK

Good PASHA BAILEY kept a clerk
(For BAILEY only made his mark),

His name was MATTHEW WYCOMBE COO,
A man of nearly forty-two.

HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS
No person that I ever knew

Could "yodel" half as well as COO,
And Highlanders exclaimed, "Eh, weel!"

When COO began to dance a reel.
HIS KINDNESS TO THE PASHA'S WIVES

He used to dance and sing and play
In such an unaffected way,

He cheered the unexciting lives
Of PASHA BAILEY'S lovely wives.

THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER
But why should I encumber you

With histories of MATTHEW COO?
Let MATTHEW COO at once take wing, -

'Tis not of COO I'm going to sing.
THE AUTHOR'S MUSE

Let me recall my wandering Muse;
She SHALL be steady if I choose -

She roves, instead of helping me
To tell the deeds of BAILEY B.

THE PASHA'S VISITOR
One morning knocked, at half-past eight,

A tall Red Indian at his gate.
In Turkey, as you're p'raps aware,

Red Indians are extremely rare.
THE VISITOR'S OUTFIT

Mocassins decked his graceful legs,
His eyes were black, and round as eggs,

And on his neck, instead of beads,
Hung several Catawampous seeds.

WHAT THE VISITOR SAID
"Ho, ho!" he said, "thou pale-faced one,

Poor offspring of an Eastern sun,
You've NEVER seen the Red Man skip

Upon the banks of Mississip!"
THE AUTHOR'S MODERATION

To say that BAILEY oped his eyes
Would feebly paint his great surprise -

To say it almost made him die
Would be to paint it much too high.

THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER
But why should I ransack my head

To tell you all that Indian said;
We'll let the Indian man take wing, -

'Tis not of him I'm going to sing.
THE READER TO THE AUTHOR

Come, come, I say, that's quite enough
Of this absurd disjointed stuff;

Now let's get on to that affair
About LIEUTENANT-COLONEL FLARE.

Ballad: Lieutenant-Colonel Flare
The earth has armies plenty,

And semi-warlike bands,
I dare say there are twenty

In European lands;
But, oh! in no direction

You'd find one to compare
In brotherly affection

With that of COLONEL FLARE.
His soldiers might be rated

As military Pearls.
As unsophisticated

As pretty little girls!
They never smoked or ratted,

Or talked of Sues or Polls;
The Sergeant-Major tatted,

The others nursed their dolls.
He spent his days in teaching

These truly solemn facts;
There's little use in preaching,

Or circulating tracts.
(The vainest plan invented

For stifling other creeds,
Unless it's supplemented

With charitable DEEDS.)
He taught his soldiers kindly

To give at Hunger's call:
"Oh, better far give blindly,

Than never give at all!
Though sympathy be kindled

By Imposition's game,
Oh, better far be swindled

Than smother up its flame!"
His means were far from ample

For pleasure or for dress,
Yet note this bright example

Of single-heartedness:
Though ranking as a Colonel,

His pay was but a groat,
While their reward diurnal

Was - each a five-pound note.
Moreover, - this evinces

His kindness, you'll allow, -
He fed them all like princes,

And lived himself on cow.
He set them all regaling

On curious wines, and dear,
While he would sit pale-ale-ing,

Or quaffing ginger-beer.
Then at his instigation

(A pretty fancy this)
Their daily pay and ration

He'd take in change for his;
They brought it to him weekly,

• impulse [´impʌls] n.推动(力)；冲动；刺激 (初中英语单词)
• acting [´æktiŋ] a.代理的 n.演戏 (初中英语单词)
• estimate [´estimət, ´estimeit] n.估计；评价 vt.估价 (初中英语单词)
• humble [´hʌmbəl] a.谦卑的 vt.贬抑 (初中英语单词)
• dramatic [drə´mætik] a.戏剧的；戏剧般的 (初中英语单词)
• sensation [sen´seiʃən] n.感觉；轰动；轰动一时 (初中英语单词)
• dreadful [´dredful] a.可怕的；讨厌的 (初中英语单词)
• mental [´mentl] a.精神的；心理的 (初中英语单词)
• indian [´indiən] a.印度的 n.印度人 (初中英语单词)
• turkey [´tə:ki] n.火鸡 (初中英语单词)
• extremely [ik´stri:mli] ad.极端地；非常地 (初中英语单词)
• graceful [´greisfəl] a.优美的，流畅的 (初中英语单词)
• visitor [´vizitə] n.访问者；来宾；参观者 (初中英语单词)
• absurd [əb´sə:d] a.荒谬的，可笑的 (初中英语单词)
• european [juərə´pi:ən] a.欧洲的 n.欧洲人 (初中英语单词)
• solemn [´sɔləm] a.严肃的；隆重的 (初中英语单词)
• sympathy [´simpəθi] n.同情，怜悯 (初中英语单词)
• reward [ri´wɔ:d] n.&v.报答；报酬；奖赏 (初中英语单词)
• weekly [´wi:kli] a.&ad.每周一次(的) (初中英语单词)
• butler [´bʌtlə] n.(男)管家 (高中英语单词)
• indignation [,indig´neiʃən] n.愤慨；气愤 (高中英语单词)
• needless [´ni:dləs] a.不必要的；无用的 (高中英语单词)
• dignified [´dignifaid] a.尊贵的 (高中英语单词)
• bearing [´beəriŋ] n.举止；忍耐；关系 (高中英语单词)
• colonel [´kə:nəl] n.海(陆)军上校 (高中英语单词)
• smother [´smʌðə] v.抑制；覆盖 n.浓烟 (高中英语单词)
• suitor [´su:tə, ´sju:-] n.原告；请求者；求爱者 (英语四级单词)
• right-hand [´rait´hænd] a.右手的，右边的 (英语四级单词)
• feebly [´fi:bli] ad.虚弱地；贫乏地 (英语四级单词)
• charitable [´tʃæritəbəl] a.仁爱的；慈善的 (英语四级单词)
• governess [´gʌvənis] n.女家庭教师 (英语六级单词)
• divers [´daivə(:)z] a.&pron.若干个 (英语六级单词)
• turkish [´tə:kiʃ] a.&n.土耳其人(语)的 (英语六级单词)
• scoundrel [´skaundrəl] n.&a.无赖(的) (英语六级单词)
• brotherly [´brʌðəli] a.兄弟般的 (英语六级单词)