There was little sleep for me that night. I passed most of the
time in smoking and walking up and down the room. My one relief
was afforded by Traveler--he begged so hard to go to London with
me, I could not
resist him. The dog always sleeps in my room. His
surprise at my
extraordinary restlessness (ending in downright
anxiety and alarm) was expressed in his eyes, and in his little
whinings and cries, quite as intelligibly as if he had put his
meaning into words. Who first called a dog a dumb creature? It
must have been a man, I think--and a
thoroughly unlovable man,
too, from a dog's point of view.
Soon after ten, on the morning of the 28th, she entered my
sitting-room.
In her personal appearance, I saw a change for the worse:
produced, I suppose, by the troubles that have tried her sorely,
poor thing. There was a sad loss of
delicacy in her features, and
of
purity in her
complexion. Even her dress--I should certainly
not have noticed it in any other woman--seemed to be loose and
slovenly. In the
agitation of the moment, I forgot the long
estrangement between us; I half lifted my hand to take hers, and
checked myself. Was I
mistaken in supposing that she yielded to
the same
impulse, and
resisted it as I did? She concealed her
embarrassment, if she felt any, by patting the dog.
"I am
ashamed that you should have taken the journey to London in
this
wintry weather--" she began.
It was impossible, in her situation, to let her assume this
commonplace tone with me. "I
sincerely feel for you," I said,
"and
sincerely wish to help you, if I can."
She looked at me for the first time. Did she believe me? or did
she still doubt? Before I could decide, she took a letter from
her pocket, opened it, and handed it to me.
"Women often
exaggerate their troubles," she said. "It is perhaps
an
unfair trial of your patience--but I should like you to
satisfy yourself that I have not made the worst of my situation.
That letter will place it before you in Mr. Romayne's own words.
Read it, except where the page is turned down."
It was her husband's letter of
farewell.
The language was scrupulously
delicate and
considerate. But to my
mind it entirely failed to
disguise the fanatical
cruelty of the
man's
resolution, addressed to his wife. In substance, it came to
this:--
"He had discovered the marriage at Brussels, which she had
deliberately concealed from him when he took her for his wife.
She had afterward persisted in that
concealment, under
circumstances which made it impossible that he could ever trust
her again." (This no doubt referred to her ill-
advised reception
of me, as a total stranger, at Ten Acres Lodge.) "In the
miserable break-up of his
domestic life, the Church to which he
now belonged offered him no t only her
divineconsolation, but
the honor, above all
earthly distinctions, of serving the cause
of religion in the
sacred ranks of the
priesthood. Before his
departure for Rome he bade her a last
farewell in this world, and
forgave her the injuries that she had inflicted on him. For her
sake he asked leave to say some few words more. In the first
place, he desired to do her every justice, in a
worldly sense.
Ten Acres Lodge was offered to her as a free gift for her
lifetime, with a sufficient
income for all her wants. In the
second place, he was
anxious that she should not misinterpret his
motives. Whatever his opinion of her conduct might be, he did not
rely on it as affording his only
justification for leaving her.
Setting personal feeling aside, he felt religious scruples
(connected with his marriage) which left him no other alternative
than the
separation on which he had
resolved. He would
brieflyexplain those scruples, and mention his authority for
entertaining them, before he closed his letter."
There the page was turned down, and the
explanation was concealed
from me.
A faint color stole over her face as I handed the letter back to
her.
"It is
needless for you to read the end," she said. "You know,
under his own hand, that he has left me; and (if such a thing
pleads with you in his favor) you also know that he is
liberal in
providing for his deserted wife."
I attempted to speak. She saw in my face how I despised him, and
stopped me.
"Whatever you may think of his conduct," she continued, "I beg
that you will not speak of it to me. May I ask your opinion (now
you have read his letter) on another matter, in which my own
conduct is
concerned? In former days--"
She paused, poor soul, in
evidentconfusion and distress.
"Why speak of those days?" I ventured to say.
"I must speak of them. In former days, I think you were told that
my father's will provided for my mother and for me. You know that
we have enough to live on?"
I had heard of it, at the time of our betrothal--when the
marriage settlement was in
preparation. The mother and daughter
had each a little
income of a few hundreds a year. The exact
amount had escaped my memory.
After answering her to this effect, I waited to hear more.
She suddenly became silent; the most
painfulembarrassment showed
itself in her face and manner. "Never mind the rest," she said,
mastering her
confusion after an
interval. "I have had some hard
trials to bear; I forget things--" she made an effort to finish
the
sentence, and gave it up, and called to the dog to come to
her. The tears were in her eyes, and that was the way she took to
hide them from me.
In general, I am not quick at
reading the minds of others--but I
thought I understood Stella. Now that we were face to face, the
impulse to trust me had, for the moment, got the better of her
caution and her pride; she was half
ashamed of it, half inclined
to follow it. I hesitated no longer. The time for which I had
waited--the time to prove, without any in
delicacy on my side,
that I had never been
unworthy of her--had surely come at last.
"Do you remember my reply to your letter about Father Benwell?" I
asked.
"Yes--every word of it."
"I promised, if you ever had need of me, to prove that I had
never been
unworthy of your confidence. In your present
situation, I can
honorably keep my promise. Shall I wait till you
are calmer? or shall I go on at once?"
"At once!"
"When your mother and your friends took you from me," I resumed,
"if you had shown any hesitation--"
She shuddered. The image of my
unhappy wife, vindictively
confronting us on the church steps, seemed to be recalled to her
memory. "Don't go back to it!" she cried. "Spare me, I entreat
you."
I opened the writing-case in which I keep the papers sent to me
by the Rector of Belhaven, and placed them on the table by which
she was sitting.. The more
plainly and
briefly I spoke now, the
better I thought it might be for both of us.
"Since we parted at Brussels," I said, "my wife has died. Here is
a copy of the
medicalcertificate of her death."
Stella refused to look at it. "I don't understand such things,"
she answered
faintly. "What is this?"
She took up my wife's death-bed
confession.
"Read it," I said.