"My dear," she said kindly, "I know well how you love retirement,
and how
differently you think and feel from other young women of
your age. And I am far from forgetting what sad circumstances
have encouraged the natural bent of your
disposition. But, since
you have been staying with me this time, I see something in you
which my
intimate knowledge of your
character fails to explain.
We have been friends since we were together at school--and, in
those old days, we never had any secrets from each other. You are
feeling some
anxiety, or brooding over some sorrow, of which I
know nothing. I don't ask for your confidence; I only tell you
what I have noticed--and I say with all my heart, Stella, I am
sorry for you."
She rose, and, with intuitive
delicacy, changed the subject. "I
am going out earlier than usual this morning," she resumed. "Is
there anything I can do for you?" She laid her hand
tenderly on
Stella's shoulder,
waiting for the reply. Stella lifted the hand
and kissed it with
passionate fondness.
"Don't think me ungrateful," she said; "I am only ashamed." Her
head sank on her bosom; she burst into tears.
Lady Loring waited by her in silence. She well knew the girl's
self-contained nature, always shrinking, except in moments of
violent
emotion, from the
outward betrayal of its trials and its
sufferings to others. The true depth of feeling which is marked
by this inbred
modesty is most frequently found in men. The few
women who possess it are without the communicative consolations
of the
feminine heart. They are the noblest---and but too often
the unhappiest of their sex.
"Will you wait a little before you go out?" Stella asked
softly.
Lady Loring returned to the chair that she had left--hesitated
for a moment--and then drew it nearer to Stella. "Shall I sit by
you?" she said.
"Close by me. You spoke of our school days just now Adelaide.
There was some difference between us. Of all the girls I was the
youngest--and you were the
eldest, or nearly the
eldest, I
think?"
"Quite the
eldest, my dear. There is a difference of ten years
between us. But why do you go back to that?"
"It's only a
recollection. My father was alive then. I was at
first home-sick and
frightened in the strange place, among the
big girls. You used to let me hide my face on your shoulder, and
tell me stories. May I hide in the old way and tell _my_ story?"
She was now the calmest of the two. The elder woman turned a
little pale, and looked down in silent
anxiety at the
darklybeautiful head that rested on her shoulder.
"After such an experience as mine has been," said Stella, "would
you think it possible that I could ever again feel my heart
troubled by a man--and that man a stranger?"
"My dear! I think it quite possible. You are only now in your
twenty-third year. You were
innocent of all blame at that
wretched by-gone time which you ought never to speak of again.
Love and be happy, Stella--if you can only find the man who is
worthy of you. But you
frighten me when you speak of a stranger.
Where did you meet with him?"
"On our way back from Paris."
"Traveling in the same
carriage with you?"
"No--it was in crossing the Channel. There were few travelers in
the
steamboat, or I might never have noticed him."
"Did he speak to you?"
"I don't think he even looked at me."
"That doesn't say much for his taste, Stella."
"You don't understand. I mean, I have not explained myself
properly. He was leaning on the arm of a friend; weak and worn
and wasted, as I
supposed, by some long and
dreadful illness.
There was an
angelicsweetness in his face--such patience! such
resignation! For heaven's sake keep my secret. One hears of men
falling in love with women at first sight. But a woman who looks
at a man, and feels--oh, it's shameful! I could hardly take my
eyes off him. If he had looked at me in return, I don't know what
I should have done--I burn when I think of it. He was absorbed in
his
suffering and his sorrow. My last look at his beautiful face
was on the pier, before they took me away. The perfect image of
him has been in my heart ever since. In my dreams I see him as
plainly as I see you now. Don't
despise me, Adelaide!"
"My dear, you interest me indescribably. Do you suppose he was in
our rank of life? I mean, of course, did he look like a
gentleman?"
"There could be no doubt of it."
"Do try to describe him, Stella. Was he tall and well dressed?"
"Neither tall nor short--rather thin--quiet and
graceful in all
his movements--dressed
plainly, in perfect taste. How can I
describe him? When his friend brought him on board, he stood at
the side of the
vessel, looking out
thoughtfully toward the sea.
Such eyes I never saw before, Adelaide, in any human face--so
divinely tender and sad--and the color of them that dark violet
blue, so
uncommon and so beautiful--too beautiful for a man. I
may say the same of his hair. I saw it completely. For a minute
or two he removed his hat--his head was fevered, I think--and he
let the sea
breeze blow over it. The pure light brown of his hair
was just warmed by a lovely
reddish tinge. His beard was of the
same color; short and curling, like the beards of the Roman
heroes one sees in pictures. I shall never see him again--and it
is best for me that I shall not. What can I hope from a man who
never once noticed me? But I _should_ like to hear that he had
recovered his health and his tranquillity, and that his life was
a happy one. It has been a comfort to me, Adelaide, to open my
heart to you. I am get ting bold enough to
confess everything.
Would you laugh at me, I wonder, if I--?"
She stopped. Her pale
complexionsoftly glowed into color; her
grand dark eyes brightened--she looked her loveliest at that
moment.
"I am far more inclined, Stella, to cry over you than to laugh at
you," said Lady Loring. "There is something, to my mind, very sad
about this adventure of yours. I wish I could find out who the
man is. Even the best
description of a person falls so short of
the reality!"
"I thought of showing you something," Stella continued, "which
might help you to see him as I saw him. It's only making one more
acknowledgment of my own folly."
"You don't mean a
portrait of him!" Lady Loring exclaimed.
"The best that I could do from
recollection," Stella answered
sadly.
"Bring it here directly!"
Stella left the room and returned with a little
drawing in
pencil. The
instant Lady Loring looked at it, she recognized
Romayne and started
excitedly to her feet.
"You know him!" cried Stella.
Lady Loring had placed herself in an
awkward position. Her
husband had described to her his
interview with Major Hynd, and
had mentioned his
project for bringing Romayne and Stella
together, after first
exacting a promise of the strictest secrecy
from his wife. She felt herself bound--doubly bound, after what
she had now discovered--to respect the confidence placed in her;
and this at the time when she had betrayed herself to Stella!
With a woman's feline
fineness of
perception, in all cases of
subterfuge and
concealment, she picked a part of the truth out of
the whole, and answered harmlessly without a moment's hesitation.
"I have certainly seen him," she said--"probably at some party.
But I see so many people, and I go to so many places, that I must
ask for time to
consult my memory. My husband might help me, if
you don't object to my asking him," she added slyly.
Stella snatched the
drawing away from her, in
terror. "You don't