章节正文
The Toys of Peace
by H.H. Munro ("Saki")
Contents:
The Toys of Peace
Louise
Tea
The Disappearance of Crispina Umberleigh
The Wolves of Cernogratz
Louis
The Guests
The Penance
The Phantom Luncheon
A Bread and Butter Miss
Bertie's Christmas Eve
Forewarned
The Interlopers
Quail Seed
Canossa
The Threat
Excepting Mrs. Pentherby
Mark
The Hedgehog
The Mappined Life
Fate
The Bull
Morlvera
Shock Tactics
The Seven Cream Jugs
The Occasional Garden
The Sheep
The Oversight
Hyacinth
The Image of the Lost Soul
The Purple of the Balkan Kings
The Cupboard of the Yesterdays
For the Duration of the War
THE TOYS OF PEACE
"Harvey," said Eleanor Bope, handing her brother a cutting from a
London morning paper of the 19th of March, "just read this about
children's toys, please; it exactly carries out some of our ideas
about influence and upbringing."
"In the view of the National Peace Council," ran the extract, "there
are grave objections to presenting our boys with regiments of
fighting men, batteries of guns, and squadrons of 'Dreadnoughts.'
Boys, the Council admits, naturally love fighting and all the
panoply of war . . . but that is no reason for encouraging, and
perhaps giving permanent form to, their primitiveinstincts. At the
Children's Welfare Exhibition, which opens at Olympia in three
weeks' time, the Peace Council will make an alternative suggestion
to parents in the shape of an exhibition" target="_blank" title="n.展览；显示；表演">exhibition of 'peace toys.' In front
of a specially-painted representation of the Peace Palace at The
Hague will be grouped, not miniature soldiers but miniature
civilians, not guns but ploughs and the tools of industry . . . It
is hoped that manufacturers may take a hint from the exhibit, which
will bear fruit in the toy shops."
"The idea is certainly an interesting and very well-meaning one,"
said Harvey; "whether it would succeed well in practice--"
"We must try," interrupted his sister; "you are coming down to us at
Easter, and you always bring the boys some toys, so that will be an
excellent opportunity for you to inaugurate the new experiment. Go
about in the shops and buy any little toys and models that have
special bearing on civilian life in its more peaceful aspects. Of
course you must explain the toys to the children and interest them
in the new idea. I regret to say that the 'Siege of Adrianople'
toy, that their Aunt Susan sent them, didn't need any explanation;
they knew all the uniforms and flags, and even the names of the
respective commanders, and when I heard them one day using what
seemed to be the most objectionable language they said it was
Bulgarian words of command; of course it MAY have been, but at any
rate I took the toy away from them. Now I shall expect your Easter
gifts to give quite a new impulse and direction to the children's
minds; Eric is not eleven yet, and Bertie is only nine-and-a-half,
so they are really at a most impressionable age."
"There is primitiveinstinct to be taken into consideration, you
know," said Henry doubtfully, "and hereditary tendencies as well.
One of their great-uncles fought in the most intolerant fashion at
Inkerman--he was specially mentioned in dispatches, I believe--and
their great-grandfather smashed all his Whig neighbours' hot houses
when the great Reform Bill was passed. Still, as you say, they are
at an impressionable age. I will do my best."
On Easter Saturday Harvey Bope unpacked a large, promising-looking
red cardboard box under the expectant eyes of his nephews. "Your
uncle has brought you the newest thing in toys," Eleanor had said
impressively, and youthfulanticipation had been anxiously divided
between Albanian soldiery and a Somali camel-corps. Eric was hotly
in favour of the latter contingency. "There would be Arabs on
horseback," he whispered; "the Albanians have got jolly uniforms,
and they fight all day long, and all night, too, when there's a
moon, but the country's rocky, so they've got no cavalry."
A quantity of crinkly paper shavings was the first thing that met
the view when the lid was removed; the most exiting toys always
began like that. Harvey pushed back the top layer and drew forth a
square, rather featureless building.
"It's a fort!" exclaimed Bertie.
"It isn't, it's the palace of the Mpret of Albania," said Eric,
immensely proud of his knowledge of the exotic title; "it's got no
windows, you see, so that passers-by can't fire in at the Royal
Family."
"It's a municipal dust-bin," said Harvey hurriedly; "you see all the
refuse and litter of a town is collected there, instead of lying
about and injuring the health of the citizens."
In an awful silence he disinterred a little lead figure of a man in
black clothes.
"That," he said, "is a distinguishedcivilian, John Stuart Mill. He
was an authority on political economy."
"Why?" asked Bertie.
"Well, he wanted to be; he thought it was a useful thing to be."
Bertie gave an expressive grunt, which conveyed his opinion that
there was no accounting for tastes.
Another square building came out, this time with windows and
chimneys.
"A model of the Manchester branch of the Young Women's Christian
Association," said Harvey.
"Are there any lions?" asked Eric hopefully. He had been reading
Roman history and thought that where you found Christians you might
reasonably expect to find a few lions.
"There are no lions," said Harvey. "Here is another civilian,
Robert Raikes, the founder of Sunday schools, and here is a model of
a municipal wash-house. These little round things are loaves backed
in a sanitary bakehouse. That lead figure is a sanitary inspector,
this one is a district councillor, and this one is an official of
the Local Government Board."
"What does he do?" asked Eric wearily.
"He sees to things connected with his Department," said Harvey.
"This box with a slit in it is a ballot-box. Votes are put into it
at election times."
"What is put into it at other times?" asked Bertie.
"Nothing. And here are some tools of industry, a wheelbarrow and a
hoe, and I think these are meant for hop-poles. This is a model
beehive, and that is a ventilator, for ventilating sewers. This
seems to be another municipal dust-bin--no, it is a model of a
school of art and public library. This little lead figure is Mrs.
Hemans, a poetess, and this is Rowland Hill, who introduced the
system of penny postage. This is Sir John Herschel, the eminent
astrologer."
"Are we to play with these civilian figures?" asked Eric.
"Of course," said Harvey, "these are toys; they are meant to be
played with."
"But how?"
It was rather a poser. "You might make two of them contest a seat
in Parliament," said Harvey, "an have an election--"
"With rotten eggs, and free fights, and ever so many broken heads!"
exclaimed Eric.
"And noses all bleeding and everybody drunk as can be," echoed
Bertie, who had carefully studied one of Hogarth's pictures.
"Nothing of the kind," said Harvey, "nothing in the least like that.
Votes will be put in the ballot-box, and the Mayor will count them--
and he will say which has received the most votes, and then the two
candidates will thank him for presiding, and each will say that the
contest has been conducted throughout in the pleasantest and most
straightforward fashion, and they part with expressions of mutual
esteem. There's a jolly game for you boys to play. I never had
such toys when I was young."
"I don't think we'll play with them just now," said Eric, with an
entire absence of the enthusiasm that his uncle had shown; "I think
perhaps we ought to do a little of our holiday task. It's history
this time; we've got to learn up something about the Bourbon period
in France."
"The Bourbon period," said Harvey, with some disapproval in his
voice.
"We've got to know something about Louis the Fourteenth," continued
Eric; "I've learnt the names of all the principal battles already."
This would never do. "There were, of course, some battles fought
during his reign," said Harvey, "but I fancy the accounts of them
were much exaggerated; news was very unreliable in those days, and
there were practically no war correspondents, so generals and
commanders could magnify every little skirmish they engaged in till
they reached the proportions of decisive battles. Louis was really
famous, now, as a landscapegardener; the way he laid out Versailles
was so much admired that it was copied all over Europe."
"Do you know anything about Madame Du Barry?" asked Eric; "didn't
she have her head chopped off?"
"She was another great lover of gardening," said Harvey, evasively;
"in fact, I believe the well known rose Du Barry was named after
her, and now I think you had better play for a little and leave your
lessons till later."
Harvey retreated to the library and spent some thirty or forty
minutes in wondering whether it would be possible to compile a
history, for use in elementary schools, in which there should be no
prominent mention of battles, massacres, murderous intrigues, and
violent deaths. The York and Lancaster period and the Napoleonic
era would, he admitted to himself, present considerable
difficulties, and the Thirty Years' War would entail something of a
gap if you left it out altogether. Still, it would be something
gained if, at a highly impressionable age, children could be got to
fix their attention on the invention of calico printing instead of
the Spanish Armada or the Battle of Waterloo.
It was time, he thought, to go back to the boys' room, and see how
they were getting on with their peace toys. As he stood outside the
door he could hear Eric's voice raised in command; Bertie chimed in
now and again with a helpful suggestion.
"That is Louis the Fourteenth," Eric was saying, "that one in knee-
breeches, that Uncle said invented Sunday schools. It isn't a bit
like him, but it'll have to do."
"We'll give him a purple coat from my paintbox by and by," said
Bertie.
"Yes, an' red heels. That is Madame de Maintenon, that one he
called Mrs. Hemans. She begs Louis not to go on this expedition,
but he turns a deaf ear. He takes Marshal Saxe with him, and we
must pretend that they have thousands of men with them. The
watchword is Qui vive? and the answer is L'etat c'est moi--that was
by H.H. Munro ("Saki")
Contents:
The Toys of Peace
Louise
Tea
The Disappearance of Crispina Umberleigh
The Wolves of Cernogratz
Louis
The Guests
The Penance
The Phantom Luncheon
A Bread and Butter Miss
Bertie's Christmas Eve
Forewarned
The Interlopers
Quail Seed
Canossa
The Threat
Excepting Mrs. Pentherby
Mark
The Hedgehog
The Mappined Life
Fate
The Bull
Morlvera
Shock Tactics
The Seven Cream Jugs
The Occasional Garden
The Sheep
The Oversight
Hyacinth
The Image of the Lost Soul
The Purple of the Balkan Kings
The Cupboard of the Yesterdays
For the Duration of the War
THE TOYS OF PEACE
"Harvey," said Eleanor Bope, handing her brother a cutting from a
London morning paper of the 19th of March, "just read this about
children's toys, please; it exactly carries out some of our ideas
about influence and upbringing."
"In the view of the National Peace Council," ran the extract, "there
are grave objections to presenting our boys with regiments of
fighting men, batteries of guns, and squadrons of 'Dreadnoughts.'
Boys, the Council admits, naturally love fighting and all the
panoply of war . . . but that is no reason for encouraging, and
perhaps giving permanent form to, their primitiveinstincts. At the
Children's Welfare Exhibition, which opens at Olympia in three
weeks' time, the Peace Council will make an alternative suggestion
to parents in the shape of an exhibition" target="_blank" title="n.展览；显示；表演">exhibition of 'peace toys.' In front
of a specially-painted representation of the Peace Palace at The
Hague will be grouped, not miniature soldiers but miniature
civilians, not guns but ploughs and the tools of industry . . . It
is hoped that manufacturers may take a hint from the exhibit, which
will bear fruit in the toy shops."
"The idea is certainly an interesting and very well-meaning one,"
said Harvey; "whether it would succeed well in practice--"
"We must try," interrupted his sister; "you are coming down to us at
Easter, and you always bring the boys some toys, so that will be an
excellent opportunity for you to inaugurate the new experiment. Go
about in the shops and buy any little toys and models that have
special bearing on civilian life in its more peaceful aspects. Of
course you must explain the toys to the children and interest them
in the new idea. I regret to say that the 'Siege of Adrianople'
toy, that their Aunt Susan sent them, didn't need any explanation;
they knew all the uniforms and flags, and even the names of the
respective commanders, and when I heard them one day using what
seemed to be the most objectionable language they said it was
Bulgarian words of command; of course it MAY have been, but at any
rate I took the toy away from them. Now I shall expect your Easter
gifts to give quite a new impulse and direction to the children's
minds; Eric is not eleven yet, and Bertie is only nine-and-a-half,
so they are really at a most impressionable age."
"There is primitiveinstinct to be taken into consideration, you
know," said Henry doubtfully, "and hereditary tendencies as well.
One of their great-uncles fought in the most intolerant fashion at
Inkerman--he was specially mentioned in dispatches, I believe--and
their great-grandfather smashed all his Whig neighbours' hot houses
when the great Reform Bill was passed. Still, as you say, they are
at an impressionable age. I will do my best."
On Easter Saturday Harvey Bope unpacked a large, promising-looking
red cardboard box under the expectant eyes of his nephews. "Your
uncle has brought you the newest thing in toys," Eleanor had said
impressively, and youthfulanticipation had been anxiously divided
between Albanian soldiery and a Somali camel-corps. Eric was hotly
in favour of the latter contingency. "There would be Arabs on
horseback," he whispered; "the Albanians have got jolly uniforms,
and they fight all day long, and all night, too, when there's a
moon, but the country's rocky, so they've got no cavalry."
A quantity of crinkly paper shavings was the first thing that met
the view when the lid was removed; the most exiting toys always
began like that. Harvey pushed back the top layer and drew forth a
square, rather featureless building.
"It's a fort!" exclaimed Bertie.
"It isn't, it's the palace of the Mpret of Albania," said Eric,
immensely proud of his knowledge of the exotic title; "it's got no
windows, you see, so that passers-by can't fire in at the Royal
Family."
"It's a municipal dust-bin," said Harvey hurriedly; "you see all the
refuse and litter of a town is collected there, instead of lying
about and injuring the health of the citizens."
In an awful silence he disinterred a little lead figure of a man in
black clothes.
"That," he said, "is a distinguishedcivilian, John Stuart Mill. He
was an authority on political economy."
"Why?" asked Bertie.
"Well, he wanted to be; he thought it was a useful thing to be."
Bertie gave an expressive grunt, which conveyed his opinion that
there was no accounting for tastes.
Another square building came out, this time with windows and
chimneys.
"A model of the Manchester branch of the Young Women's Christian
Association," said Harvey.
"Are there any lions?" asked Eric hopefully. He had been reading
Roman history and thought that where you found Christians you might
reasonably expect to find a few lions.
"There are no lions," said Harvey. "Here is another civilian,
Robert Raikes, the founder of Sunday schools, and here is a model of
a municipal wash-house. These little round things are loaves backed
in a sanitary bakehouse. That lead figure is a sanitary inspector,
this one is a district councillor, and this one is an official of
the Local Government Board."
"What does he do?" asked Eric wearily.
"He sees to things connected with his Department," said Harvey.
"This box with a slit in it is a ballot-box. Votes are put into it
at election times."
"What is put into it at other times?" asked Bertie.
"Nothing. And here are some tools of industry, a wheelbarrow and a
hoe, and I think these are meant for hop-poles. This is a model
beehive, and that is a ventilator, for ventilating sewers. This
seems to be another municipal dust-bin--no, it is a model of a
school of art and public library. This little lead figure is Mrs.
Hemans, a poetess, and this is Rowland Hill, who introduced the
system of penny postage. This is Sir John Herschel, the eminent
astrologer."
"Are we to play with these civilian figures?" asked Eric.
"Of course," said Harvey, "these are toys; they are meant to be
played with."
"But how?"
It was rather a poser. "You might make two of them contest a seat
in Parliament," said Harvey, "an have an election--"
"With rotten eggs, and free fights, and ever so many broken heads!"
exclaimed Eric.
"And noses all bleeding and everybody drunk as can be," echoed
Bertie, who had carefully studied one of Hogarth's pictures.
"Nothing of the kind," said Harvey, "nothing in the least like that.
Votes will be put in the ballot-box, and the Mayor will count them--
and he will say which has received the most votes, and then the two
candidates will thank him for presiding, and each will say that the
contest has been conducted throughout in the pleasantest and most
straightforward fashion, and they part with expressions of mutual
esteem. There's a jolly game for you boys to play. I never had
such toys when I was young."
"I don't think we'll play with them just now," said Eric, with an
entire absence of the enthusiasm that his uncle had shown; "I think
perhaps we ought to do a little of our holiday task. It's history
this time; we've got to learn up something about the Bourbon period
in France."
"The Bourbon period," said Harvey, with some disapproval in his
voice.
"We've got to know something about Louis the Fourteenth," continued
Eric; "I've learnt the names of all the principal battles already."
This would never do. "There were, of course, some battles fought
during his reign," said Harvey, "but I fancy the accounts of them
were much exaggerated; news was very unreliable in those days, and
there were practically no war correspondents, so generals and
commanders could magnify every little skirmish they engaged in till
they reached the proportions of decisive battles. Louis was really
famous, now, as a landscapegardener; the way he laid out Versailles
was so much admired that it was copied all over Europe."
"Do you know anything about Madame Du Barry?" asked Eric; "didn't
she have her head chopped off?"
"She was another great lover of gardening," said Harvey, evasively;
"in fact, I believe the well known rose Du Barry was named after
her, and now I think you had better play for a little and leave your
lessons till later."
Harvey retreated to the library and spent some thirty or forty
minutes in wondering whether it would be possible to compile a
history, for use in elementary schools, in which there should be no
prominent mention of battles, massacres, murderous intrigues, and
violent deaths. The York and Lancaster period and the Napoleonic
era would, he admitted to himself, present considerable
difficulties, and the Thirty Years' War would entail something of a
gap if you left it out altogether. Still, it would be something
gained if, at a highly impressionable age, children could be got to
fix their attention on the invention of calico printing instead of
the Spanish Armada or the Battle of Waterloo.
It was time, he thought, to go back to the boys' room, and see how
they were getting on with their peace toys. As he stood outside the
door he could hear Eric's voice raised in command; Bertie chimed in
now and again with a helpful suggestion.
"That is Louis the Fourteenth," Eric was saying, "that one in knee-
breeches, that Uncle said invented Sunday schools. It isn't a bit
like him, but it'll have to do."
"We'll give him a purple coat from my paintbox by and by," said
Bertie.
"Yes, an' red heels. That is Madame de Maintenon, that one he
called Mrs. Hemans. She begs Louis not to go on this expedition,
but he turns a deaf ear. He takes Marshal Saxe with him, and we
must pretend that they have thousands of men with them. The
watchword is Qui vive? and the answer is L'etat c'est moi--that was
- occasional [ə´keiʒənəl]
a.偶然的；临时的 (初中英语单词) - purple [´pə:pl] n.紫色 a.紫(红)的 (初中英语单词)
- permanent [´pə:mənənt] a.永久的；不变的 (初中英语单词)
- primitive [´primitiv] a.原始的 n.原始人 (初中英语单词)
- welfare [´welfeə] n.福利(事业) (初中英语单词)
- exhibit [ig´zibit] vt.展出 n.展览品 (初中英语单词)
- peaceful [´pi:sfəl] a.和平的；平静的 (初中英语单词)
- impulse [´impʌls] n.推动(力)；冲动；刺激 (初中英语单词)
- instinct [´instiŋkt] n.本能；直觉；天资 (初中英语单词)
- consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑；原因；体谅 (初中英语单词)
- reform [ri´fɔ:m] v.&n.改革；改良；革除 (初中英语单词)
- youthful [´ju:θfəl] a.年轻的；青年的 (初中英语单词)
- election [i´lekʃən] n.选举；选择 (初中英语单词)
- postage [´pəustidʒ] n.邮费；邮资 (初中英语单词)
- contest [kən´test, ´kɔntest] v.争辩 n.争夺；竞赛 (初中英语单词)
- absence [´æbsəns] n.不在，缺席；缺乏 (初中英语单词)
- enthusiasm [in´θju:ziæzəm] n.热心；狂热；爱好 (初中英语单词)
- holiday [´hɔlidi] n.假日，假期，节日 (初中英语单词)
- learnt [lə:nt] learn 的过去式(分词) (初中英语单词)
- principal [´prinsəpəl] a.主要的 n.负责人 (初中英语单词)
- altogether [,ɔ:ltə´geðə] ad.完全；总而言之 (初中英语单词)
- invention [in´venʃən] n.创造；发明；虚构 (初中英语单词)
- pretend [pri´tend] v.假装；借口；妄求 (初中英语单词)
- cupboard [´kʌbəd] n.碗柜，食橱 (高中英语单词)
- extract [ik´strækt, ´ekstrækt] vt.取出；摘录 n.精华 (高中英语单词)
- exhibition [eksi´biʃ(ə)n] n.展览；显示；表演 (高中英语单词)
- representation [,reprizen´teiʃən] n.描写；表现(法) (高中英语单词)
- miniature [´miniətʃə] n.缩样 a.雏型的 (高中英语单词)
- bearing [´beəriŋ] n.举止；忍耐；关系 (高中英语单词)
- specially [´speʃəli] ad.专门地；特别地 (高中英语单词)
- easter [´i:stə] n.(耶稣)复活节 (高中英语单词)
- anxiously [´æŋkʃəsli] ad.挂念地；渴望地 (高中英语单词)
- municipal [mju:´nisipəl] a.市政的；地方性的 (高中英语单词)
- litter [´litə] n.杂乱 v.乱丢 (高中英语单词)
- distinguished [di´stiŋgwiʃt] a.卓越的，著名的 (高中英语单词)
- manchester [´mæntʃistə] n.曼彻斯特 (高中英语单词)
- founder [´faundə] n.奠基者 v.陷落 (高中英语单词)
- rotten [´rɔtn] a.腐烂的；腐朽的 (高中英语单词)
- studied [´stʌdid] a.故意的；有计划的 (高中英语单词)
- landscape [´lændskeip] n.风景；景色；风景画 (高中英语单词)
- gardener [´gɑ:dnə] n.园艺家；园林工人 (高中英语单词)
- compile [kəm´pail] vt.编辑；汇编 (高中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)
- alternative [ɔ:l´tə:nətiv] a.二中选一的 n.选择 (英语四级单词)
- civilian [si´viljən] n.平民 a.平民的 (英语四级单词)
- hereditary [hi´reditəri] a.遗传的；世袭的 (英语四级单词)
- cardboard [´kɑ:dbɔ:d] n.纸板；卡纸 (英语四级单词)
- anticipation [æn,tisi´peiʃən] n.预期；预料；期望 (英语四级单词)
- hurriedly [´hʌridli] ad.仓促地，忙乱地 (英语四级单词)
- sanitary [´sænitəri, -teri] a.卫生的 n.公共厕所 (英语四级单词)
- magnify [´mægnifai] vt.放大；推崇；夸张 (英语四级单词)
- skirmish [´skə:miʃ] n.小战斗 vi.打小仗 (英语四级单词)
- decisive [di´saisiv] a.决定性的，确定的 (英语四级单词)
- elementary [,eli´mentəri] a.基本的；初级的 (英语四级单词)
- murderous [´mə:dərəs] a.行凶的；势不可挡的 (英语四级单词)
- calico [´kælikəu] n.白棉布；印花布 (英语四级单词)
- marshal [´mɑ:ʃəl] n.(陆军)元帅 (英语四级单词)
- disappearance [,disə´piərəns] n.消失；失踪 (英语六级单词)
- phantom [´fæntəm] n.幽灵；幻影 a.幻想的 (英语六级单词)
- duration [djuə´reiʃən] n.持久；持续期间 (英语六级单词)
- inaugurate [i´nɔ:gjureit] vt.举行就职典礼；开始 (英语六级单词)
- doubtfully [´dautfuli] ad.怀疑地，可疑地 (英语六级单词)
- expectant [ik´spektənt] a.期待的，预期的 (英语六级单词)
- expressive [ik´spresiv] a.有表现力的 (英语六级单词)
- hopefully [´həupfəli] ad.抱着希望地 (英语六级单词)
- disapproval [,disə´pru:vəl] n.不赞成；非难 (英语六级单词)
- entail [in´teil] vt.限定(继承人)；需要 (英语六级单词)
- armada [ɑ:´mɑ:də] n.舰队；(飞机)机群 (英语六级单词)
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