Meet Miss Lilian Posh. Am sent for by Mr. Hardfur Huttle.
Important.
July 1. - I find, on looking over my diary, nothing of any
consequence has taken place during the last month. To-day we lose
Lupin, who has taken furnished apartments at Bayswater, near his
friends, Mr. and Mrs. Murray Posh, at two guineas a week. I think
this is most
extravagant of him, as it is half his salary. Lupin
says one never loses by a good address, and, to use his own
expression, Brickfield Terrace is a bit "off." Whether he means it
is "far off" I do not know. I have long since given up
trying to
understand his curious expressions. I said the neighbourhood had
always been good enough for his parents. His reply was: "It is no
question of being good or bad. There is no money in it, and I am
not going to rot away my life in the suburbs."
We are sorry to lose him, but perhaps he will get on better by
himself, and there may be some truth in his remark that an old and
a young horse can't pull together in the same cart.
Gowing called, and said that the house seemed quite
peaceful, and
like old times. He liked Master Lupin very well, but he
occasionally suffered from what he could not help - youth.
July 2. - Cummings called, looked very pale, and said he had been
very ill again, and of course not a single friend had been near
him. Carrie said she had never heard of it,
whereupon he threw
down a copy of the BICYCLE NEWS on the table, with the following
paragraph: "We regret to hear that that favourite old roadster,
Mr. Cummings ('Long' Cummings), has met with what might have been a
serious accident in Rye Lane. A
mischievous boy threw a stick
between the spokes of one of the back wheels, and the machine
overturned, bringing our brother tricyclist heavily to the ground.
Fortunately he was more
frightened than hurt, but we missed his
merry face at the dinner at Chingford, where they turned up in good
numbers. 'Long' Cummings' health was proposed by our popular Vice,
Mr. Westropp, the
prince of bicyclists, who in his happiest vein
said it was a case of 'CUMMING(s) thro' the RYE, but fortunately
there was more WHEEL than WOE,' a joke which created roars of
laughter."
We all said we were very sorry, and pressed Cummings to stay to
supper. Cummings said it was like old times being without Lupin,
and he was much better away.
July 3, Sunday. - In the afternoon, as I was looking out of the
parlour window, which was open, a grand trap,
driven by a lady,
with a gentleman seated by the side of her, stopped at our door.
Not wishing to be seen, I
withdrew my head very quickly, knocking
the back of it
violently against the sharp edge of the window-sash.
I was nearly stunned. There was a loud double-knock at the front
door; Carrie rushed out of the parlour,
upstairs to her room, and I
followed, as Carrie thought it was Mr. Perkupp. I thought it was
Mr. Franching. - I whispered to Sarah over the banisters: "Show
them into the drawing-room." Sarah said, as the shutters were not
opened, the room would smell musty. There was another loud rat-
tat. I whispered: "Then show them into the parlour, and say Mr.
Pooter will be down directly." I changed my coat, but could not
see to do my hair, as Carrie was occupying the glass.
Sarah came up, and said it was Mrs. Murray Posh and Mr. Lupin.
This was quite a
relief. I went down with Carrie, and Lupin met me
with the remark: "I say, what did you run away from the window
for? Did we
frighten you?"
I
foolishly said: "What window?"
Lupin said: "Oh, you know. Shut it. You looked as if you were
playing at Punch and Judy."
On Carrie asking if she could offer them anything, Lupin said:
"Oh, I think Daisy will take on a cup of tea. I can do with a B.
and S."
I said: "I am afraid we have no soda."
Lupin said: "Don't
bother about that. You just trip out and hold
the horse; I don't think Sarah understands it."
They stayed a very short time, and as they were leaving, Lupin
said: "I want you both to come and dine with me next Wednesday,
and see my new place. Mr. and Mrs. Murray Posh, Miss Posh
(Murray's sister) are coming. Eight o'clock sharp. No one else."
I said we did not
pretend to be
fashionable people, and would like
the dinner earlier, as it made it so late before we got home.
Lupin said: "Rats! You must get used to it. If it comes to that,
Daisy and I can drive you home."
We promised to go; but I must say in my simple mind the familiar
way in which Mrs. Posh and Lupin addressed each other is
reprehensible. Anybody would think they had been children
together. I certainly should object to a six months' acquaintance
calling MY wife "Carrie," and driving out with her.
July 4. - Lupin's rooms looked very nice; but the dinner was, I
thought, a little too grand, especially as he commenced with
champagne straight off. I also think Lupin might have told us that
he and Mr. and Mrs. Murray Posh and Miss Posh were going to put on
full evening dress. Knowing that the dinner was only for us six,
we never dreamed it would be a full dress affair. I had no
appetite. It was quite twenty minutes past eight before we sat
down to dinner. At six I could have eaten a
hearty meal. I had a
bit of bread-and-butter at that hour, feeling famished, and I
expect that
partly spoiled my appetite.
We were introduced to Miss Posh, whom Lupin called "Little Girl,"
as if he had known her all his life. She was very tall, rather
plain, and I thought she was a little painted round the eyes. I
hope I am wrong; but she had such fair hair, and yet her eyebrows
were black. She looked about thirty. I did not like the way she
kept giggling and giving Lupin smacks and pinching him. Then her
laugh was a sort of a
scream that went right through my ears, all
the more irritating because there was nothing to laugh at. In
fact, Carrie and I were not at all prepossessed with her. They all
smoked cigarettes after dinner, including Miss Posh, who startled
Carrie by
saying: "Don't you smoke, dear?" I answered for Carrie,
and said: "Mrs. Charles Pooter has not arrived at it yet,"
whereupon Miss Posh gave one of her
piercing laughs again.
Mrs. Posh sang a dozen songs at least, and I can only repeat what I
have said before - she does NOT sing in tune; but Lupin sat by the
side of the piano, gazing into her eyes the whole time. If I had
been Mr. Posh, I think I should have had something to say about it.
Mr. Posh made himself very
agreeable to us, and
eventually sent us
home in his
carriage, which I thought most kind. He is evidently
very rich, for Mrs. Posh had on some beautiful jewellery. She told
Carrie her
necklace, which her husband gave her as a birthday
present, alone cost 300 pounds.
Mr. Posh said he had a great
belief in Lupin, and thought he would
make rapid way in the world.
I could not help thinking of the 600 pounds Mr. Posh lost over the
PARACHIKKA CHLORATES through Lupin's advice.
During the evening I had an opportunity to speak to Lupin, and
expressed a hope that Mr. Posh was not living beyond his means.
Lupin sneered, and said Mr. Posh was worth thousands. "Posh's one-
price hat" was a household word in Birmingham, Manchester,
Liverpool, and all the big towns throughout England. Lupin further
informed me that Mr. Posh was
opening branch establishments at New
York, Sydney, and Melbourne, and was negotiating for Kimberley and
Johannesburg.
I said I was pleased to hear it.
Lupin said: "Why, he has settled over 10,000 pounds on Daisy, and
the same
amount on 'Lillie Girl.' If at any time I wanted a little
capital, he would put up a couple of 'thou' at a day's notice, and
could buy up Perkupp's firm over his head at any moment with ready
cash."
On the way home in the
carriage, for the first time in my life, I
was inclined to
indulge in the
radical thought that money was NOT
properly divided.
On arriving home at a quarter-past eleven, we found a hansom cab,
which had been
waiting for me for two hours with a letter. Sarah
said she did not know what to do, as we had not left the address
where we had gone. I trembled as I opened the letter, fearing it
was some bad news about Mr. Perkupp. The note was: "Dear Mr.
Pooter, - Come down to the Victoria Hotel without delay.
Important. Yours truly, Hardfur Huttle."
I asked the cabman if it was too late. The cabman replied that it
was NOT; for his instructions were, if I happened to be out, he was
to wait till I came home. I felt very tired, and really wanted to
go to bed. I reached the hotel at a quarter before
midnight. I
apologised for being so late, but Mr. Huttle said: "Not at all;
come and have a few oysters." I feel my heart
beating as I write
these words. To be brief, Mr. Huttle said he had a rich American
friend who wanted to do something large in our line of business,
and that Mr. Franching had mentioned my name to him. We talked
over the matter. If, by any happy chance, the result be
successful, I can more than
compensate my dear master for the loss
of Mr. Crowbillon's custom. Mr. Huttle had
previously said: "The
glorious 'Fourth' is a lucky day for America, and, as it has not
yet struck twelve, we will
celebrate it with a glass of the best
wine to be had in the place, and drink good luck to our bit of
business."
I
fervently hope it will bring good luck to us all.
It was two o'clock when I got home. Although I was so tired, I
could not sleep except for short intervals - then only to dream.
I kept dreaming of Mr. Perkupp and Mr. Huttle. The latter was in a
lovely palace with a crown on. Mr. Perkupp was
waiting in the
room. Mr. Huttle kept
taking off this crown and handing it to me,
and
calling me "President."
He appeared to take no notice of Mr. Perkupp, and I kept asking Mr.
Huttle to give the crown to my
worthy master. Mr. Huttle kept
saying: "No, this is the White House of Washington, and you must
keep your crown, Mr. President."
We all laughed long and very loudly, till I got parched, and then I
woke up. I fell asleep, only to dream the same thing over and over
again.
CHAPTER THE LAST.
One of the happiest days of my life.
July 10. - The
excitement and
anxiety through which I have gone the
last few days have been almost enough to turn my hair grey. It is
all but settled. To-morrow the die will be cast. I have written a
long letter to Lupin - feeling it my duty to do so, -
regarding his
attention to Mrs. Posh, for they drove up to our house again last
night.
July 11. - I find my eyes filling with tears as I pen the note of
my
interview this morning with Mr. Perkupp. Addressing me, he
said: "My
faithful servant, I will not dwell on the important
service you have done our firm. You can never be sufficiently
thanked. Let us change the subject. Do you like your house, and
are you happy where you are?"
I replied: "Yes, sir; I love my house and I love the
neighbourhood, and could not bear to leave it."
Mr. Perkupp, to my surprise, said: "Mr. Pooter, I will purchase
the freehold of that house, and present it to the most honest and
most
worthy man it has ever been my lot to meet."
He shook my hand, and said he hoped my wife and I would be spared
many years to enjoy it. My heart was too full to thank him; and,
seeing my
embarrassment, the good fellow said: "You need say
nothing, Mr. Pooter," and left the office.
I sent telegrams to Carrie, Gowing, and Cummings (a thing I have
never done before), and asked the two latter to come round to
supper.
On arriving home I found Carrie crying with joy, and I sent Sarah
round to the grocer's to get two bottles of "Jackson Freres."
My two dear friends came in the evening, and the last post brought
a letter from Lupin in reply to mine. I read it aloud to them all.
It ran: "My dear old Guv., - Keep your hair on. You are on the
wrong tack again. I am engaged to be married to 'Lillie Girl.' I