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April 18. - Water all right again in the cistern. Mrs. James, of

Sutton, called in the afternoon. She and Carrie draped the
mantelpiece in the drawing-room, and put little toy spiders, frogs

and beetles all over it, as Mrs. James says it's quite the fashion.
It was Mrs. James' suggestion, and of course Carrie always does

what Mrs. James suggests. For my part, I preferred the mantelpiece
as it was; but there, I'm a plain man, and don't pretend to be in

the fashion.
April 19. - Our next-door neighbour, Mr. Griffin, called, and in a

rather offensive tone accused me, or "someone," of boring a hole in
his cistern and letting out his water to supply our cistern, which

adjoined his. He said he should have his repaired, and send us in
the bill.

April 20. - Cummings called, hobbling in with a stick, saying he
had been on his back for a week. It appears he was trying to shut

his bedroom door, which is situated just at the top of the
staircase, and unknown to him a piece of cork the dog had been

playing with had got between the door, and prevented it shutting;
and in pulling the door hard, to give it an extra slam, the handle

came off in his hands, and he fell backwards downstairs.
On hearing this, Lupin suddenly jumped up from the couch and rushed

out of the room sideways. Cummings looked very indignant, and
remarked it was very poor fun a man nearly breaking his back; and

though I had my suspicions that Lupin was laughing, I assured
Cummings that he had only run out to open the door to a friend he

expected. Cummings said this was the second time he had been laid
up, and we had never sent to inquire. I said I knew nothing about

it. Cummings said: "It was mentioned in the BICYCLE NEWS."
April 22. - I have of late frequently noticed Carrie rubbing her

nails a good deal with an instrument, and on asking her what she
was doing, she replied: "Oh, I'm going in for manicuring. It's

all the fashion now." I said: "I suppose Mrs. James introduced
that into your head." Carrie laughingly replied: "Yes; but

everyone does it now."
I wish Mrs. James wouldn't come to the house. Whenever she does

she always introduces some new-fandangled rubbish into Carrie's
head. One of these days I feel sure I shall tell her she's not

welcome. I am sure it was Mrs. James who put Carrie up to writing
on dark slate-coloured paper with white ink. Nonsense!

April 23. - Received a letter from Mrs. Lupkin, of Southend,
telling us the train to come by on Saturday, and hoping we will

keep our promise to stay with her. The letter concluded: "You
must come and stay at our house; we shall charge you half what you

will have to pay at the Royal, and the view is every bit as good."
Looking at the address at the top of the note-paper, I found it was

"Lupkin's Family and Commercial Hotel."
I wrote a note, saying we were compelled to "decline her kind

invitation." Carrie thought this very satirical, and to the point.
By-the-by, I will never choose another cloth pattern at night. I

ordered a new suit of dittos for the garden at Edwards', and chose
the pattern by gaslight, and they seemed to be a quiet pepper-and-

salt mixture with white stripes down. They came home this morning,
and, to my horror, I found it was quite a flash-looking suit.

There was a lot of green with bright yellow-coloured stripes.
I tried on the coat, and was annoyed to find Carrie giggling. She

said: "What mixture did you say you asked for?"
I said: "A quiet pepper and salt."

Carrie said: "Well, it looks more like mustard, if you want to
know the truth."

CHAPTER XIX.
Meet Teddy Finsworth, an old schoolfellow. We have a pleasant and

quiet dinner at his uncle's, marred only by a few awkward mistakes
on my part respecting Mr. Finsworth's pictures. A discussion on

dreams.
April 27. - Kept a little later than usual at the office, and as I

was hurrying along a man stopped me, saying: "Hulloh! That's a
face I know." I replied politely: "Very likely; lots of people

know me, although I may not know them." He replied: "But you know
me - Teddy Finsworth." So it was. He was at the same school with

me. I had not seen him for years and years. No wonder I did not
know him! At school he was at least a head taller than I was; now

I am at least a head taller than he is, and he has a thick beard,
almost grey. He insisted on my having a glass of wine (a thing I

never do), and told me he lived at Middlesboro', where he was
Deputy Town Clerk, a position which was as high as the Town Clerk

of London - in fact, higher. He added that he was staying for a
few days in London, with his uncle, Mr. Edgar Paul Finsworth (of

Finsworth and Pultwell). He said he was sure his uncle would be
only too pleased to see me, and he had a nice house, Watney Lodge,

only a few minutes' walk from Muswell Hill Station. I gave him our
address, and we parted.

In the evening, to my surprise, he called with a very nice letter
from Mr. Finsworth, saying if we (including Carrie) would dine with

them to-morrow (Sunday), at two o'clock, he would be delighted.
Carrie did not like to go; but Teddy Finsworth pressed us so much

we consented. Carrie sent Sarah round to the butcher's and
countermanded our half-leg of mutton, which we had ordered for to-

morrow.
April 28, Sunday. - We found Watney Lodge farther off than we

anticipated, and only arrived as the clock struck two, both feeling
hot and uncomfortable. To make matters worse, a large collie dog

pounced forward to receive us. He barked loudly and jumped up at
Carrie, covering her light skirt, which she was wearing for the

first time, with mud. Teddy Finsworth came out and drove the dog
off and apologised. We were shown into the drawing-room, which was

beautifully decorated. It was full of knick-knacks, and some
plates hung up on the wall. There were several little wooden milk-

stools with paintings on them; also a white wooden banjo, painted
by one of Mr. Paul Finsworth's nieces - a cousin of Teddy's.

Mr. Paul Finsworth seemed quite a distinguished-looking elderly
gentleman, and was most gallant to Carrie. There were a great many

water-colours hanging on the walls, mostly different views of
India, which were very bright. Mr. Finsworth said they were

painted by "Simpz," and added that he was no judge of pictures
himself but had been informed on good authority that they were

worth some hundreds of pounds, although he had only paid a few
shillings apiece for them, frames included, at a sale in the

neighbourhood.
There was also a large picture in a very handsome frame, done in

coloured crayons. It looked like a religious subject. I was very
much struck with the lace collar, it looked so real, but I

unfortunately made the remark that there was something about the
expression of the face that was not quite pleasing. It looked

pinched. Mr. Finsworth sorrowfully replied: "Yes, the face was
done after death - my wife's sister."

I felt terriblyawkward and bowed apologetically, and in a whisper
said I hoped I had not hurt his feelings. We both stood looking at

the picture for a few minutes in silence, when Mr. Finsworth took
out a handkerchief and said: "She was sitting in our garden last

summer," and blew his nose violently. He seemed quite affected, so
I turned to look at something else and stood in front of a portrait

of a jolly-looking middle-aged gentleman, with a red face and straw
hat. I said to Mr. Finsworth: "Who is this jovial-looking

gentleman? Life doesn't seem to trouble him much." Mr. Finsworth
said: "No, it doesn't. HE IS DEAD TOO - my brother."

I was absolutely horrified at my own awkwardness. Fortunately at
this moment Carrie entered with Mrs. Finsworth, who had taken her

upstairs to take off her bonnet and brush her skirt. Teddy said:
"Short is late," but at that moment the gentleman referred to

arrived, and I was introduced to him by Teddy, who said: "Do you
know Mr. Short?" I replied, smiling, that I had not that pleasure,

but I hoped it would not be long before I knew Mr. SHORT. He
evidently did not see my little joke, although I repeated it twice

with a little laugh. I suddenly remembered it was Sunday, and Mr.
Short was perhaps VERY PARTICULAR. In this I was mistaken, for he

was not at all particular in several of his remarks after dinner.
In fact I was so ashamed of one of his observations that I took the

opportunity to say to Mrs. Finsworth that I feared she found Mr.
Short occasionally a little embarrassing. To my surprise she said:

"Oh! he is privileged you know." I did not know as a matter of
fact, and so I bowed apologetically. I fail to see why Mr. Short

should be privileged.
Another thing that annoyed me at dinner was that the collie dog,

which jumped up at Carrie, was allowed to remain under the dining-
room table. It kept growling and snapping at my boots every time I

moved my foot. Feeling nervous rather, I spoke to Mrs. Finsworth
about the animal, and she remarked: "It is only his play." She

jumped up and let in a frightfully ugly-looking spaniel called
Bibbs, which had been scratching at the door. This dog also seemed

to take a fancy to my boots, and I discovered afterwards that it
had licked off every bit of blacking from them. I was positively

ashamed of being seen in them. Mrs. Finsworth, who, I must say, is
not much of a Job's comforter, said: "Oh! we are used to Bibbs

doing that to our visitors."
Mr. Finsworth had up some fine port, although I question whether it

is a good thing to take on the top of beer. It made me feel a
little sleepy, while it had the effect of inducing Mr. Short to

become "privileged" to rather an alarming extent. It being cold
even for April, there was a fire in the drawing-room; we sat round

in easy-chairs, and Teddy and I waxed rather eloquent over the old
school days, which had the effect of sending all the others to

sleep. I was delighted, as far as Mr. Short was concerned, that it
did have that effect on him.

We stayed till four, and the walk home was remarkable only for the
fact that several fools giggled at the unpolished state of my

boots. Polished them myself when I got home. Went to church in
the evening, and could scarcely keep awake. I will not take port

on the top of beer again.
April 29. - I am getting quite accustomed to being snubbed by

Lupin, and I do not mind being sat upon by Carrie, because I think
she has a certain amount of right to do so; but I do think it hard

to be at once snubbed by wife, son, and both my guests.
Gowing and Cummings had dropped in during the evening, and I

suddenly remembered an extraordinary dream I had a few nights ago,
and I thought I would tell them about it. I dreamt I saw some huge

blocks of ice in a shop with a bright glare behind them. I walked
into the shop and the heat was overpowering. I found that the

blocks of ice were on fire. The whole thing was so real and yet so
supernatural I woke up in a cold perspiration. Lupin in a most

contemptuous manner, said: "What utter rot."
Before I could reply, Gowing said there was nothing so completely

uninteresting as other people's dreams.
I appealed to Cummings, but he said he was bound to agree with the

others and my dream was especially nonsensical. I said: "It
seemed so real to me." Gowing replied: "Yes, to YOU perhaps, but

not to US." Whereupon they all roared.
Carrie, who had hitherto been quiet, said: "He tells me his stupid

dreams every morning nearly." I replied: "Very well, dear, I
promise you I will never tell you or anybody else another dream of

mine the longest day I live." Lupin said: "Hear! hear!" and
helped himself to another glass of beer. The subject was

fortunately changed, and Cummings read a most interesting article
on the superiority of the bicycle to the horse.

CHAPTER XX.
Dinner at Franching's to meet Mr. Hardfur Huttle.

May 10. - Received a letter from Mr. Franching, of Peckham, asking
us to dine with him to-night, at seven o'clock, to meet Mr. Hardfur

Huttle, a very clever writer for the American papers. Franching
apologised for the short notice; but said he had at the last moment

been disappointed of two of his guests and regarded us as old
friends who would not mind filling up the gap. Carrie rather



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