April 18. - Water all right again in the
cistern. Mrs. James, of
Sutton, called in the afternoon. She and Carrie draped the
mantelpiece in the drawing-room, and put little toy spiders, frogs
and beetles all over it, as Mrs. James says it's quite the fashion.
It was Mrs. James'
suggestion, and of course Carrie always does
what Mrs. James suggests. For my part, I preferred the mantelpiece
as it was; but there, I'm a plain man, and don't
pretend to be in
the fashion.
April 19. - Our next-door neighbour, Mr. Griffin, called, and in a
rather
offensive tone accused me, or "someone," of boring a hole in
his
cistern and letting out his water to supply our
cistern, which
adjoined his. He said he should have his repaired, and send us in
the bill.
April 20. - Cummings called, hobbling in with a stick,
saying he
had been on his back for a week. It appears he was
trying to shut
his bedroom door, which is
situated just at the top of the
staircase, and unknown to him a piece of cork the dog had been
playing with had got between the door, and prevented it shutting;
and in pulling the door hard, to give it an extra slam, the handle
came off in his hands, and he fell
backwards downstairs.
On
hearing this, Lupin suddenly jumped up from the couch and rushed
out of the room sideways. Cummings looked very
indignant, and
remarked it was very poor fun a man nearly breaking his back; and
though I had my suspicions that Lupin was laughing, I assured
Cummings that he had only run out to open the door to a friend he
expected. Cummings said this was the second time he had been laid
up, and we had never sent to inquire. I said I knew nothing about
it. Cummings said: "It was mentioned in the BICYCLE NEWS."
April 22. - I have of late frequently noticed Carrie rubbing her
nails a good deal with an
instrument, and on asking her what she
was doing, she replied: "Oh, I'm going in for manicuring. It's
all the fashion now." I said: "I suppose Mrs. James introduced
that into your head." Carrie laughingly replied: "Yes; but
everyone does it now."
I wish Mrs. James wouldn't come to the house. Whenever she does
she always introduces some new-fandangled
rubbish into Carrie's
head. One of these days I feel sure I shall tell her she's not
welcome. I am sure it was Mrs. James who put Carrie up to writing
on dark slate-coloured paper with white ink. Nonsense!
April 23. - Received a letter from Mrs. Lupkin, of Southend,
telling us the train to come by on Saturday, and hoping we will
keep our promise to stay with her. The letter concluded: "You
must come and stay at our house; we shall
charge you half what you
will have to pay at the Royal, and the view is every bit as good."
Looking at the address at the top of the note-paper, I found it was
"Lupkin's Family and Commercial Hotel."
I wrote a note,
saying we were compelled to "decline her kind
invitation." Carrie thought this very satirical, and to the point.
By-the-by, I will never choose another cloth pattern at night. I
ordered a new suit of dittos for the garden at Edwards', and chose
the pattern by gaslight, and they seemed to be a quiet
pepper-and-
salt
mixture with white stripes down. They came home this morning,
and, to my
horror, I found it was quite a flash-looking suit.
There was a lot of green with bright yellow-coloured stripes.
I tried on the coat, and was annoyed to find Carrie giggling. She
said: "What
mixture did you say you asked for?"
I said: "A quiet
pepper and salt."
Carrie said: "Well, it looks more like
mustard, if you want to
know the truth."
CHAPTER XIX.
Meet Teddy Finsworth, an old
schoolfellow. We have a pleasant and
quiet dinner at his uncle's, marred only by a few
awkward mistakes
on my part
respecting Mr. Finsworth's pictures. A
discussion on
dreams.
April 27. - Kept a little later than usual at the office, and as I
was hurrying along a man stopped me,
saying: "Hulloh! That's a
face I know." I replied
politely: "Very likely; lots of people
know me, although I may not know them." He replied: "But you know
me - Teddy Finsworth." So it was. He was at the same school with
me. I had not seen him for years and years. No wonder I did not
know him! At school he was at least a head taller than I was; now
I am at least a head taller than he is, and he has a thick beard,
almost grey. He insisted on my having a glass of wine (a thing I
never do), and told me he lived at Middlesboro', where he was
Deputy Town Clerk, a position which was as high as the Town Clerk
of London - in fact, higher. He added that he was staying for a
few days in London, with his uncle, Mr. Edgar Paul Finsworth (of
Finsworth and Pultwell). He said he was sure his uncle would be
only too pleased to see me, and he had a nice house, Watney Lodge,
only a few minutes' walk from Muswell Hill Station. I gave him our
address, and we parted.
In the evening, to my surprise, he called with a very nice letter
from Mr. Finsworth,
saying if we (including Carrie) would dine with
them to-morrow (Sunday), at two o'clock, he would be
delighted.
Carrie did not like to go; but Teddy Finsworth pressed us so much
we consented. Carrie sent Sarah round to the butcher's and
countermanded our half-leg of
mutton, which we had ordered for to-
morrow.
April 28, Sunday. - We found Watney Lodge farther off than we
anticipated, and only arrived as the clock struck two, both feeling
hot and
uncomfortable. To make matters worse, a large
collie dog
pounced forward to receive us. He barked loudly and jumped up at
Carrie, covering her light skirt, which she was wearing for the
first time, with mud. Teddy Finsworth came out and drove the dog
off and apologised. We were shown into the drawing-room, which was
beautifully decorated. It was full of knick-knacks, and some
plates hung up on the wall. There were several little
wooden milk-
stools with paintings on them; also a white
wooden banjo, painted
by one of Mr. Paul Finsworth's nieces - a cousin of Teddy's.
Mr. Paul Finsworth seemed quite a distinguished-looking elderly
gentleman, and was most
gallant to Carrie. There were a great many
water-colours
hanging on the walls,
mostly different views of
India, which were very bright. Mr. Finsworth said they were
painted by "Simpz," and added that he was no judge of pictures
himself but had been informed on good authority that they were
worth some hundreds of pounds, although he had only paid a few
shillings
apiece for them, frames included, at a sale in the
neighbourhood.
There was also a large picture in a very handsome frame, done in
coloured crayons. It looked like a religious subject. I was very
much struck with the lace
collar, it looked so real, but I
un
fortunately made the remark that there was something about the
expression of the face that was not quite
pleasing. It looked
pinched. Mr. Finsworth sorrowfully replied: "Yes, the face was
done after death - my wife's sister."
I felt
terriblyawkward and bowed apologetically, and in a whisper
said I hoped I had not hurt his feelings. We both stood looking at
the picture for a few minutes in silence, when Mr. Finsworth took
out a
handkerchief and said: "She was sitting in our garden last
summer," and blew his nose
violently. He seemed quite
affected, so
I turned to look at something else and stood in front of a portrait
of a jolly-looking
middle-aged gentleman, with a red face and straw
hat. I said to Mr. Finsworth: "Who is this jovial-looking
gentleman? Life doesn't seem to trouble him much." Mr. Finsworth
said: "No, it doesn't. HE IS DEAD TOO - my brother."
I was
absolutely horrified at my own
awkwardness. Fortunately at
this moment Carrie entered with Mrs. Finsworth, who had taken her
upstairs to take off her
bonnet and brush her skirt. Teddy said:
"Short is late," but at that moment the gentleman referred to
arrived, and I was introduced to him by Teddy, who said: "Do you
know Mr. Short?" I replied, smiling, that I had not that pleasure,
but I hoped it would not be long before I knew Mr. SHORT. He
evidently did not see my little joke, although I
repeated it twice
with a little laugh. I suddenly remembered it was Sunday, and Mr.
Short was perhaps VERY PARTICULAR. In this I was
mistaken, for he
was not at all particular in several of his remarks after dinner.
In fact I was so
ashamed of one of his observations that I took the
opportunity to say to Mrs. Finsworth that I feared she found Mr.
Short
occasionally a little embarrassing. To my surprise she said:
"Oh! he is
privileged you know." I did not know as a matter of
fact, and so I bowed apologetically. I fail to see why Mr. Short
should be
privileged.
Another thing that annoyed me at dinner was that the
collie dog,
which jumped up at Carrie, was allowed to remain under the dining-
room table. It kept growling and snapping at my boots every time I
moved my foot. Feeling
nervous rather, I spoke to Mrs. Finsworth
about the animal, and she remarked: "It is only his play." She
jumped up and let in a
frightfully ugly-looking spaniel called
Bibbs, which had been scratching at the door. This dog also seemed
to take a fancy to my boots, and I discovered afterwards that it
had licked off every bit of blacking from them. I was positively
ashamed of being seen in them. Mrs. Finsworth, who, I must say, is
not much of a Job's
comforter, said: "Oh! we are used to Bibbs
doing that to our visitors."
Mr. Finsworth had up some fine port, although I question whether it
is a good thing to take on the top of beer. It made me feel a
little
sleepy, while it had the effect of inducing Mr. Short to
become "
privileged" to rather an alarming
extent. It being cold
even for April, there was a fire in the drawing-room; we sat round
in easy-chairs, and Teddy and I waxed rather
eloquent over the old
school days, which had the effect of sending all the others to
sleep. I was
delighted, as far as Mr. Short was
concerned, that it
did have that effect on him.
We stayed till four, and the walk home was
remarkable only for the
fact that several fools giggled at the unpolished state of my
boots. Polished them myself when I got home. Went to church in
the evening, and could scarcely keep awake. I will not take port
on the top of beer again.
April 29. - I am getting quite accustomed to being snubbed by
Lupin, and I do not mind being sat upon by Carrie, because I think
she has a certain
amount of right to do so; but I do think it hard
to be at once snubbed by wife, son, and both my guests.
Gowing and Cummings had dropped in during the evening, and I
suddenly remembered an
extraordinary dream I had a few nights ago,
and I thought I would tell them about it. I dreamt I saw some huge
blocks of ice in a shop with a bright glare behind them. I walked
into the shop and the heat was overpowering. I found that the
blocks of ice were on fire. The whole thing was so real and yet so
supernatural I woke up in a cold perspiration. Lupin in a most
contemptuous manner, said: "What utter rot."
Before I could reply, Gowing said there was nothing so completely
uninteresting as other people's dreams.
I appealed to Cummings, but he said he was bound to agree with the
others and my dream was especially nonsensical. I said: "It
seemed so real to me." Gowing replied: "Yes, to YOU perhaps, but
not to US." Whereupon they all roared.
Carrie, who had
hitherto been quiet, said: "He tells me his stupid
dreams every morning nearly." I replied: "Very well, dear, I
promise you I will never tell you or anybody else another dream of
mine the longest day I live." Lupin said: "Hear! hear!" and
helped himself to another glass of beer. The subject was
fortunately changed, and Cummings read a most interesting article
on the
superiority of the
bicycle to the horse.
CHAPTER XX.
Dinner at Franching's to meet Mr. Hardfur Huttle.
May 10. - Received a letter from Mr. Franching, of Peckham, asking
us to dine with him to-night, at seven o'clock, to meet Mr. Hardfur
Huttle, a very clever
writer for the American papers. Franching
apologised for the short notice; but said he had at the last moment
been disappointed of two of his guests and regarded us as old
friends who would not mind filling up the gap. Carrie rather