章节正文
not plead his cause nearly so well as he had hoped, for
when he ceased Elnora sat in silence.
"You are my judge," he said at last. "What is your verdict?"
"If I could hear her speak from her heart as I just have
heard you, then I could decide," answered Elnora.
"She is on the ocean," said Philip. "She went because
she knew she was wholly in the wrong. She had nothing
to say, or she would have remained."
"That sounds plausible," reasoned Elnora, "but it is
pretty difficult to find a woman in an affair that involves
her heart with nothing at all to say. I fancy if I could
meet her, she would say several things. I should love to
hear them. If I could talk with her three minutes, I
could tell what answer to make you."
"Don't you believe me, Elnora?"
"Unquestioningly," answered Elnora. "But I would
believe her also. If only I could meet her I soon
would know."
"I don't see how that is to be accomplished," said
Philip, "but I am perfectlywilling. There is no reason
why you should not meet her, except that she probably
would lose her temper and insult you."
"Not to any extent," said Elnora calmly. "I have
a tongue of my own, while I am not without some small
sense of personal values."
Philip glanced at her and began to laugh. Very different
of facialformation and colouring, Elnora at times closely
resembled her mother. She joined in his laugh ruefully.
"The point is this," she said. "Some one is going to
be hurt, most dreadfully. If the decision as to whom it
shall be rests with me, I must know it is the right one.
Of course, no one ever hinted it to you, but you are a
very attractive man, Philip. You are mighty good to
look at, and you have a trained, refined mind, that makes
you most interesting. For years Edith Carr has felt that
you were hers. Now, how is she going to change? I have
been thinking--thinking deep and long, Phil. If I were
in her place, I simply could not give you up, unless
you had made yourself unworthy of love. Undoubtedly, you
never seemed so desirable to her as just now, when she is
told she can't have you. What I think is that she will
come to claim you yet."
"You overlook the fact that it is not in a woman's power
to throw away a man and pick him up at pleasure," said
Philip with some warmth. "She publicly and repeatedly
cast me off. I accepted her decision as publicly as
it was made. You have done all your thinking from
a wrong viewpoint. You seem to have an idea that it
lies with you to decide what I shall do, that if you say the
word, I shall return to Edith. Put that thought out of
your head! Now, and for all time to come, she is a matter
of indifference to me. She killed all feeling in my heart
for her so completely that I do not even dread meeting her.
"If I hated her, or was angry with her, I could not be
sure the feeling would not die. As it is, she has deadened
me into a creature of indifference. So you just revise
your viewpoint a little, Elnora. Cease thinking it is for
you to decide what I shall do, and that I will obey you.
I make my own decisions in reference to any woman, save you.
The question you are to decide is whether I may remain here,
associating with you as I did last summer; but with the
difference that it is understood that I am free; that it
is my intention to care for you all I please, to make you
return my feeling for you if I can. There is just one
question for you to decide, and it is not triangular.
It is between us. May I remain? May I love you?
Will you give me the chance to prove what I think of you?"
"You speak very plainly," said Elnora.
"This is the time to speak plainly," said Philip Ammon.
"There is no use in allowing you to go on threshing out
a problem which does not exist. If you do not want
me here, say so and I will go. Of course, I warn you
before I start, that I will come back. I won't yield
without the stiffest fight it is in me to make. But drop
thinking it lies in your power to send me back to Edith Carr.
If she were the last woman in the world, and I the last man,
I'd jump off the planet before I would give her further
opportunity to exercise her temper on me. Narrow this to
us, Elnora. Will you take the place she vacated?
Will you take the heart she threw away? I'd give my
right hand and not flinch, if I could offer you my
life, free from any contact with hers, but that is
not possible. I can't undo things which are done.
I can only profit by experience and build better in
the future."
"I don't see how you can be sure of yourself," said Elnora.
"I don't see how I could be sure of you. You loved her first,
you never can care for me anything like that. Always I'd
have to be afraid you were thinking of her and regretting."
"Folly!" cried Philip. "Regretting what? That I
was not married to a woman who was liable to rave at
me any time or place, without my being conscious of
having given offence? A man does relish that! I am
likely to pine for more!"
"You'd be thinking she'd learned a lesson. You would
think it wouldn't happen again."
"No, I wouldn't be `thinking,'" said, Philip. "I'd be
everlastingly sure! I wouldn't risk what I went
through that night again, not to save my life! Just you
and me, Elnora. Decide for us."
"I can't!" cried Elnora. "I am afraid!"
"Very well," said Philip. "We will wait until you feel
that you can. Wait until fear vanishes. Just decide
now whether you would rather have me go for a few
months, or remain with you. Which shall it be, Elnora?"
"You can never love me as you did her," wailed Elnora.
"I am happy to say I cannot," replied he. "I've cut
my matrimonial teeth. I'm cured of wanting to swell
in society. I'm over being proud of a woman for her
looks alone. I have no further use for lavishing myself on
a beautiful, elegantly dressed creature, who thinks only
of self. I have learned that I am a common man. I admire
beauty and beautiful clothing quite as much as I ever
did; but, first, I want an understanding, deep as the lowest
recess of my soul, with the woman I marry. I want to work
for you, to plan for you, to build you a home with every
comfort, to give you all good things I can, to shield
you from every evil. I want to interpose my body between
yours and fire, flood, or famine. I want to give
you everything; but I hate the idea of getting nothing at
all on which I can depend in return. Edith Carr had
only good looks to offer, and when anger overtook her,
beauty went out like a snuffed candle.
"I want you to love me. I want some consideration.
I even crave respect. I've kept myself clean. So far
as I know how to be, I am honest and scrupulous.
It wouldn't hurt me to feel that you took some interest
in these things. Rather fierce temptations strike a man,
every few days, in this world. I can keep decent, for a
woman who cares for decency, but when I do, I'd like
to have the fact recognized, by just enough of a show of
appreciation that I could see it. I am tired of this one-
sided business. After this, I want to get a little in return
for what I give. Elnora, you have love, tenderness,
and honest appreciation of the finest in life. Take what
I offer, and give what I ask."
"You do not ask much," said Elnora.
"As for not loving you as I did Edith," continued
Philip, "as I said before, I hope not! I have a newer
and a better idea of loving. The feeling I offer you was
inspired by you. It is a Limberlost product. It is as
much bigger, cleaner, and more wholesome than any feeling
I ever had for Edith Carr, as you are bigger than she,
when you stand before your classes and in calm dignity
explain the marvels of the Almighty, while she stands
on a ballroom floor, and gives way to uncontrolled temper.
Ye gods, Elnora, if you could look into my soul, you
would see it leap and rejoice over my escape! Perhaps it
isn't decent, but it's human; and I'm only a common
human being. I'm the gladdest man alive that I'm free!
I would turn somersaults and yell if I dared. What an escape!
Stop straining after Edith Carr's viewpoint and take a look
from mine. Put yourself in my place and try to study out
how I feel.
"I am so happy I grow religious over it. Fifty times
a day I catch myself whispering, `My soul is escaped!'
As for you, take all the time you want. If you prefer to
be alone, I'll take the next train and stay away as long as
I can bear it, but I'll come back. You can be most sure
of that. Straight as your pigeons to their loft, I'll come
back to you, Elnora. Shall I go?"
"Oh, what's the use to be extravagant?" murmured Elnora.
CHAPTER XXII
WHEREIN PHILIP AMMON KNEELS TO ELNORA,
AND STRANGERS COME TO THE LIMBERLOST
The month which followed was a reproduction of
the previous June. There were long moth hunts,
days of specimengathering, wonderful hours with
great books, big dinners all of them helped to prepare,
and perfect nights filled with music. Everything was as
it had been, with the difference that Philip was now an
avowed suitor. He missed no opportunity to advance
himself in Elnora's graces. At the end of the month
he was no nearer any sort of understanding with her
than he had been at the beginning. He revelled in the
privilege of loving her, but he got no response.
Elnora believed in his love, yet she hesitated to
accept him, because she could not forget Edith Carr.
One afternoon early in July, Philip came across the
fields, through the Comstock woods, and entered the garden.
He inquired for Elnora at the back door and was told that
she was reading under the willow. He went around the
west end of the cabin to her. She sat on a rustic
bench they had made and placed beneath a drooping branch.
He had not seen her before in the dress she was wearing.
It was clinging mull of pale green, trimmed with narrow
ruffles and touched with knots of black velvet; a simple
dress, but vastly becoming. Every tint of her bright hair,
her luminous eyes, her red lips, and her rose-flushed
face, neck, and arms grew a little more vivid with the
delicate green setting.
He stopped short. She was so near, so temptingly
sweet, he lost control. He went to her with a half-
smothered cry after that first long look, dropped on one
knee beside her and reached an arm behind her to the bench
back, so that he was very near. He caught her hands.
"Elnora!" he cried tensely, "end it now! Say this
strain is over. I pledge you that you will be happy.
You don't know! If you only would say the word, you
would awake to new life and great joy! Won't you promise
me now, Elnora?"
when he ceased Elnora sat in silence.
"You are my judge," he said at last. "What is your verdict?"
"If I could hear her speak from her heart as I just have
heard you, then I could decide," answered Elnora.
"She is on the ocean," said Philip. "She went because
she knew she was wholly in the wrong. She had nothing
to say, or she would have remained."
"That sounds plausible," reasoned Elnora, "but it is
pretty difficult to find a woman in an affair that involves
her heart with nothing at all to say. I fancy if I could
meet her, she would say several things. I should love to
hear them. If I could talk with her three minutes, I
could tell what answer to make you."
"Don't you believe me, Elnora?"
"Unquestioningly," answered Elnora. "But I would
believe her also. If only I could meet her I soon
would know."
"I don't see how that is to be accomplished," said
Philip, "but I am perfectlywilling. There is no reason
why you should not meet her, except that she probably
would lose her temper and insult you."
"Not to any extent," said Elnora calmly. "I have
a tongue of my own, while I am not without some small
sense of personal values."
Philip glanced at her and began to laugh. Very different
of facialformation and colouring, Elnora at times closely
resembled her mother. She joined in his laugh ruefully.
"The point is this," she said. "Some one is going to
be hurt, most dreadfully. If the decision as to whom it
shall be rests with me, I must know it is the right one.
Of course, no one ever hinted it to you, but you are a
very attractive man, Philip. You are mighty good to
look at, and you have a trained, refined mind, that makes
you most interesting. For years Edith Carr has felt that
you were hers. Now, how is she going to change? I have
been thinking--thinking deep and long, Phil. If I were
in her place, I simply could not give you up, unless
you had made yourself unworthy of love. Undoubtedly, you
never seemed so desirable to her as just now, when she is
told she can't have you. What I think is that she will
come to claim you yet."
"You overlook the fact that it is not in a woman's power
to throw away a man and pick him up at pleasure," said
Philip with some warmth. "She publicly and repeatedly
cast me off. I accepted her decision as publicly as
it was made. You have done all your thinking from
a wrong viewpoint. You seem to have an idea that it
lies with you to decide what I shall do, that if you say the
word, I shall return to Edith. Put that thought out of
your head! Now, and for all time to come, she is a matter
of indifference to me. She killed all feeling in my heart
for her so completely that I do not even dread meeting her.
"If I hated her, or was angry with her, I could not be
sure the feeling would not die. As it is, she has deadened
me into a creature of indifference. So you just revise
your viewpoint a little, Elnora. Cease thinking it is for
you to decide what I shall do, and that I will obey you.
I make my own decisions in reference to any woman, save you.
The question you are to decide is whether I may remain here,
associating with you as I did last summer; but with the
difference that it is understood that I am free; that it
is my intention to care for you all I please, to make you
return my feeling for you if I can. There is just one
question for you to decide, and it is not triangular.
It is between us. May I remain? May I love you?
Will you give me the chance to prove what I think of you?"
"You speak very plainly," said Elnora.
"This is the time to speak plainly," said Philip Ammon.
"There is no use in allowing you to go on threshing out
a problem which does not exist. If you do not want
me here, say so and I will go. Of course, I warn you
before I start, that I will come back. I won't yield
without the stiffest fight it is in me to make. But drop
thinking it lies in your power to send me back to Edith Carr.
If she were the last woman in the world, and I the last man,
I'd jump off the planet before I would give her further
opportunity to exercise her temper on me. Narrow this to
us, Elnora. Will you take the place she vacated?
Will you take the heart she threw away? I'd give my
right hand and not flinch, if I could offer you my
life, free from any contact with hers, but that is
not possible. I can't undo things which are done.
I can only profit by experience and build better in
the future."
"I don't see how you can be sure of yourself," said Elnora.
"I don't see how I could be sure of you. You loved her first,
you never can care for me anything like that. Always I'd
have to be afraid you were thinking of her and regretting."
"Folly!" cried Philip. "Regretting what? That I
was not married to a woman who was liable to rave at
me any time or place, without my being conscious of
having given offence? A man does relish that! I am
likely to pine for more!"
"You'd be thinking she'd learned a lesson. You would
think it wouldn't happen again."
"No, I wouldn't be `thinking,'" said, Philip. "I'd be
everlastingly sure! I wouldn't risk what I went
through that night again, not to save my life! Just you
and me, Elnora. Decide for us."
"I can't!" cried Elnora. "I am afraid!"
"Very well," said Philip. "We will wait until you feel
that you can. Wait until fear vanishes. Just decide
now whether you would rather have me go for a few
months, or remain with you. Which shall it be, Elnora?"
"You can never love me as you did her," wailed Elnora.
"I am happy to say I cannot," replied he. "I've cut
my matrimonial teeth. I'm cured of wanting to swell
in society. I'm over being proud of a woman for her
looks alone. I have no further use for lavishing myself on
a beautiful, elegantly dressed creature, who thinks only
of self. I have learned that I am a common man. I admire
beauty and beautiful clothing quite as much as I ever
did; but, first, I want an understanding, deep as the lowest
recess of my soul, with the woman I marry. I want to work
for you, to plan for you, to build you a home with every
comfort, to give you all good things I can, to shield
you from every evil. I want to interpose my body between
yours and fire, flood, or famine. I want to give
you everything; but I hate the idea of getting nothing at
all on which I can depend in return. Edith Carr had
only good looks to offer, and when anger overtook her,
beauty went out like a snuffed candle.
"I want you to love me. I want some consideration.
I even crave respect. I've kept myself clean. So far
as I know how to be, I am honest and scrupulous.
It wouldn't hurt me to feel that you took some interest
in these things. Rather fierce temptations strike a man,
every few days, in this world. I can keep decent, for a
woman who cares for decency, but when I do, I'd like
to have the fact recognized, by just enough of a show of
appreciation that I could see it. I am tired of this one-
sided business. After this, I want to get a little in return
for what I give. Elnora, you have love, tenderness,
and honest appreciation of the finest in life. Take what
I offer, and give what I ask."
"You do not ask much," said Elnora.
"As for not loving you as I did Edith," continued
Philip, "as I said before, I hope not! I have a newer
and a better idea of loving. The feeling I offer you was
inspired by you. It is a Limberlost product. It is as
much bigger, cleaner, and more wholesome than any feeling
I ever had for Edith Carr, as you are bigger than she,
when you stand before your classes and in calm dignity
explain the marvels of the Almighty, while she stands
on a ballroom floor, and gives way to uncontrolled temper.
Ye gods, Elnora, if you could look into my soul, you
would see it leap and rejoice over my escape! Perhaps it
isn't decent, but it's human; and I'm only a common
human being. I'm the gladdest man alive that I'm free!
I would turn somersaults and yell if I dared. What an escape!
Stop straining after Edith Carr's viewpoint and take a look
from mine. Put yourself in my place and try to study out
how I feel.
"I am so happy I grow religious over it. Fifty times
a day I catch myself whispering, `My soul is escaped!'
As for you, take all the time you want. If you prefer to
be alone, I'll take the next train and stay away as long as
I can bear it, but I'll come back. You can be most sure
of that. Straight as your pigeons to their loft, I'll come
back to you, Elnora. Shall I go?"
"Oh, what's the use to be extravagant?" murmured Elnora.
CHAPTER XXII
WHEREIN PHILIP AMMON KNEELS TO ELNORA,
AND STRANGERS COME TO THE LIMBERLOST
The month which followed was a reproduction of
the previous June. There were long moth hunts,
days of specimengathering, wonderful hours with
great books, big dinners all of them helped to prepare,
and perfect nights filled with music. Everything was as
it had been, with the difference that Philip was now an
avowed suitor. He missed no opportunity to advance
himself in Elnora's graces. At the end of the month
he was no nearer any sort of understanding with her
than he had been at the beginning. He revelled in the
privilege of loving her, but he got no response.
Elnora believed in his love, yet she hesitated to
accept him, because she could not forget Edith Carr.
One afternoon early in July, Philip came across the
fields, through the Comstock woods, and entered the garden.
He inquired for Elnora at the back door and was told that
she was reading under the willow. He went around the
west end of the cabin to her. She sat on a rustic
bench they had made and placed beneath a drooping branch.
He had not seen her before in the dress she was wearing.
It was clinging mull of pale green, trimmed with narrow
ruffles and touched with knots of black velvet; a simple
dress, but vastly becoming. Every tint of her bright hair,
her luminous eyes, her red lips, and her rose-flushed
face, neck, and arms grew a little more vivid with the
delicate green setting.
He stopped short. She was so near, so temptingly
sweet, he lost control. He went to her with a half-
smothered cry after that first long look, dropped on one
knee beside her and reached an arm behind her to the bench
back, so that he was very near. He caught her hands.
"Elnora!" he cried tensely, "end it now! Say this
strain is over. I pledge you that you will be happy.
You don't know! If you only would say the word, you
would awake to new life and great joy! Won't you promise
me now, Elnora?"
- wholly [´həul-li]
ad.完全，十足；统统 (初中英语单词) - willing [´wiliŋ] a.情愿的，乐意的 (初中英语单词)
- temper [´tempə] n.韧度 v.锻炼；调和 (初中英语单词)
- insult [in´sʌlt, ´insʌlt] n.&vt.侮辱；损害 (初中英语单词)
- calmly [´kɑ:mli] ad.平静地；无风浪地 (初中英语单词)
- dreadfully [dredfuli] ad.可怕地；糟透地 (初中英语单词)
- attractive [ə´træktiv] a.有吸引力；诱人的 (初中英语单词)
- undoubtedly [ʌn´dautidli] ad.无疑地，确实地 (初中英语单词)
- desirable [di´zaiərəbəl] a.向往的；极好的 (初中英语单词)
- overlook [,əuvə´luk] vt.&n.俯瞰；忽略；观察 (初中英语单词)
- warmth [wɔ:mθ] n.温暖；热情；激动 (初中英语单词)
- reference [´refərəns] n.参考；参照；出处 (初中英语单词)
- intention [in´tenʃən] n.意图；打算；意义 (初中英语单词)
- planet [´plænit] n.行星 (初中英语单词)
- contact [´kɔntækt] n.接触；联系 v.联络 (初中英语单词)
- conscious [´kɔnʃəs] a.意识的；自觉的 (初中英语单词)
- fierce [fiəs] a.残忍的；强烈的 (初中英语单词)
- rejoice [ri´dʒɔis] v.(使)高兴；欢庆 (初中英语单词)
- previous [´pri:viəs] a.先，前，以前的 (初中英语单词)
- beginning [bi´giniŋ] n.开始，开端；起源 (初中英语单词)
- reading [´ri:diŋ] n.(阅)读；朗读；读物 (初中英语单词)
- willow [´wiləu] n.柳树 (初中英语单词)
- velvet [´velvit] n.&a.天鹅绒(般的) (初中英语单词)
- pledge [pledʒ] n.信物；誓约vt.使发誓 (初中英语单词)
- perfectly [´pə:fiktli] ad.理想地；完美地 (高中英语单词)
- formation [fɔ:´meiʃən] n.形成；构成；排列 (高中英语单词)
- mighty [´maiti] a.强有力的 ad.很 (高中英语单词)
- indifference [in´difrəns] n.冷淡；无足轻重 (高中英语单词)
- liable [´laiəbəl] a.易于...的；有责任的 (高中英语单词)
- relish [´reliʃ] n.滋味；风味 v.品尝 (高中英语单词)
- learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的，博学的 (高中英语单词)
- famine [´fæmin] n.饥荒 (高中英语单词)
- decent [´di:sənt] a.体面的，正派的 (高中英语单词)
- appreciation [ə,pri:ʃi´eiʃən] n.评价；感激 (高中英语单词)
- loving [´lʌviŋ] a.爱的，有爱情的 (高中英语单词)
- wholesome [´həulsəm] a.有益于健康的 (高中英语单词)
- specimen [´spesimən] n.标本，样品；抽样 (高中英语单词)
- refined [ri´faind] a.精制的；文雅的 (英语四级单词)
- unworthy [ʌn´wə:ði] a.不值得的；不足道的 (英语四级单词)
- viewpoint [´vju:pɔint] n.观点，看法 (英语四级单词)
- interpose [,intə´pəuz] v.插入；调解；干预 (英语四级单词)
- overtook [,əuvə´tuk] overtake的过去式 (英语四级单词)
- cleaner [´kli:nə] n.清洁工人；干洗商 (英语四级单词)
- almighty [ɔ:l´maiti] a.万能的；全能的 (英语四级单词)
- reproduction [,ri:prə´dʌkʃən] n.繁殖；翻版；再现 (英语四级单词)
- gathering [´gæðəriŋ] n.集会，聚集 (英语四级单词)
- suitor [´su:tə, ´sju:-] n.原告；请求者；求爱者 (英语四级单词)
- vastly [´vɑ:stli, ´væstli] ad.巨大地；广阔地 (英语四级单词)
- luminous [´lu:minəs] a.发光的；明晰的 (英语四级单词)
- facial [´feiʃəl] a.面部的，脸部的 (英语六级单词)
- colouring [´kʌləriŋ] n.色彩；外貌；伪装 (英语六级单词)
- publicly [´pʌblikli] ad.公然；公众所有地 (英语六级单词)
- wanting [´wɔntiŋ, wɑ:n-] a.短缺的；不足的 (英语六级单词)
- decency [´di:sənsi] n.正派；体面 (英语六级单词)
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章节正文
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