A freak accident put my eyesight at risk. A quick operation fixed things, but recuperation was slow and I feared disfigurement. Then I learned to see the world anew.

一场奇怪的事件让我差点失去了视力。及时的手术治疗对我的眼睛进行了修复，然而恢复却是如此的缓慢，我陷入了毁容的恐惧之中。我也渐渐学会了用一种全新的眼光去观察这个世界。

The explosion in my head sent fragments of light everywhere. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what hit me. Then I looked up, and there he was, in his usual place, curled around my head. He was still deep in sleep, legs kicking akimbo as he raced across a field after an imaginary cat. Somehow, my 85-pound yellow Lab, Harry, had managed to kick me in my left eye with his hind leg while he slept.My eye throbbed with a dull, numbing pain.

我头部的近乎爆炸的声响将所有的光明碎片击落了一地。它发生的是如此的突然以至于我都不清楚是什么击中了我的头部。我环顾了四周，Harry在我旁边卷曲着身子，还是躺在平常的地方。它依然熟睡，双脚抵腰，好像在追逐着瞌睡猫。不知怎么的，我那85磅的Harry一定是在熟睡的时候用它的后腿踢到了我的左眼。我的眼睛带着迟钝和麻木的痛跳动着。

I knew immediately something was wrong. My left eye wouldn't move in sync with my right. After a couple of minutes my vision cleared, and the movement of my left eye seemed to return to normal. I shook it off and began my day, slightly worried, but sure it was nothing. By midmorning I was busy at work and had completely forgotten about the whole thing.

我立刻意识到发生了什么事情。我的左眼不能和右眼一起挪动。几分钟过后，我的视线渐渐清晰开来，而我的左眼看起来也回复了正常。我把它撇到一边开始了我一天的忙碌，尽管有些许担心，但我确信是不会发生什么的。整个上午一直很忙，把这件事情也完全抛在了脑后。

Late the following afternoon, I noticed a curtain of blackness in the lower right corner of my left eye as I was walking down the hall at work. The blackness was as if someone was standing in front of a movie projector and blocking off the lower right-hand corner of the screen. I ran into my office and frantically called my ophthalmologist. Trying to stay calm, I raced across town and made it to his office within 15 minutes. I feared blindness would set in at any moment. My ophthalmologist ushered me immediately into his examination chair and quietly explained that my retina, which sends visual images to the brain through the optic nerve, was pulling away from its usual position on the back wall of my eyeball. If I didn't get it repaired right away, he told me, I could lose my sight in that eye.

下午晚些时候，当我走在工作大厅时，我注意到左眼的右下部分出现了黑点，就像某个人站在电影放音机前挡住了屏幕的右下方。我匆忙的跑回办公室近乎发狂的给我的眼科医生打电话。尽量的保持镇静，我跑着穿过市区，在15分钟内赶到了他的办公室。我害怕在任何时刻失明的突然降临。眼科医生立刻让我坐在了他的检查椅上，安静的解释着我的视网膜出现的问题。视网膜通过视觉神经将视觉图片传递到大脑，然后按原路返回传递到眼球表层。他告诉我，如果不及时的进行治疗，我的左眼会失去视觉。

By 5:30 that evening I was 40 miles away in a retinal surgeon's waiting room with five or six other patients. I spent the next several hours filled with anxiety. What would the surgeon be able to do for me? Would it hurt? Would I be able to go back to work? Would I have to spend the rest of my life blind in one eye?

那个晚上的5：40，我和6个其他患者坐在40公里外的一个视网膜专家的候诊室里。我在焦虑和不安中度过了余下的几个小时。这个治疗会给我带来什么不得而知。它真的损坏了么？我还能不能回到工作岗位上？我是否要在失去一只眼睛视力的情况下度过余生？

The surgeon told me my eye needed to be repaired right away, and he gave me two options. The first option was to have my eye repaired right there in his office. But that would mean injecting my eyeball with a very large needle and then enduring several agonizing hours of surgery while my retina was being repaired. All while I was fully awake! No way.

这名医生告诉我需要对眼睛立刻进行修复，给我提供了两种选择。一种是在他的办公室里对我的眼睛进行修复。那个也就意味着要用一根非常大的针向我的眼睛里进行注射，而且要忍受整个视网膜修复过程带来的精神和身体上带来的痛苦。整个过程我都会十分清醒。这不可能。

So I chose option number two: surgery at the hospital with general anesthesia. Whatever they did to my eye while I was unconscious was up to them, as long as I didn't see it or feel it. So, after a sleepless night, my boyfriend drove me to the hospital just before dawn. I undressed and put on a faded hospital gown while the nurse tucked my hair into a cap. The surgeon came in and marked my forehead with a large black arrow pointing down at my left eye. The anesthesiologist, holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee, flirted with the nurses while I lay there. As they wheeled me into the operating room, I looked back and saw my boyfriend waving goodbye. During my three-hour surgery my eyeball was pulled out of its socket. A "buckle," or strip of tissue, was inserted over the area where the retina had pulled away from the wall at the back of my eyeball. This secured the retina in its proper position for the healing process.

所以我选择了第二种方案：在医院进行全身麻醉手术。他们将在我失去直觉的情况下对我的视网膜进行手术，至少我不会看到或者感受到这一切。因此，在度过了一个无眠的夜晚之后，黎明前男朋友带着我去了医院。在医生将我的头发塞进帽子的时候我穿上了一件退了色长袍。主治医师在我的左眼上花了一个大大的黑色的圈。麻醉师拿着一杯泡沫聚苯乙烯咖啡，在我躺下的时候和护士们调着情。当他们推着我走进手术室的时候，我看看后边，男友正在向我摆着手说再见。在我长三个小时的手术中，我的眼球曾被拿了出来。一个"皮扣带"或者组织的一小条被注入到视网膜被拿开的眼球的后面。这样是为了确保手术期间视网膜能够处在正常位置。

Recuperation was slow. I couldn't lift my head for the first week, and the pain medication made me nauseous. I had to sleep face down for the first month to give the "buckle" time to heal in its normal position. While the bandages covering my eye were frightening, I was shocked when I actually saw my eye. It was bloody and swollen. I felt ugly and disfigured.

恢复的十分缓慢。在术后的第一周里我不能抬起我的脑袋，医疗带来的痛苦让我感觉到恶心。我不得不在第一个月仰面而睡以便能够给"小扣带"时间让它恢复到正常的位置。当我看到自己的时候，发现缠绕在眼睛上的绷带让我恐惧。它布满了血，而且十分臃肿。我感觉到了丑陋和变形。

While I recuperated, life went on. My boyfriend took care of me and our dogs, Homer and Harry. He took me to doctor's appointments and filled my prescriptions. After a full day at work as a law-enforcement officer, he fed us, got us everything we needed, and then went to the hospital, where his mother lay dying. She sent some of her flowers home with him to give to me. I never got the chance to see her again. The first time I went out after the surgery was to attend her memorial service.

我恢复的同时，生活仍在继续。男友照顾着我和我们的狗，Homer 和 Harry。他带我去复查，记下我的药方。一名推动法律实施的工作者在忙碌了一天之后，给我们做饭，提供我们需要的一切东西，然后带着我去他母亲死的那家医院。她会把一些花送回家给我，我却再没有机会见到她。我在术后第一次出门便是参加她的纪念日。

The month following my surgery, Hurricane Charley hit our home. We were lucky. While our roof was damaged and the rain permeated the drywall inside, we were unharmed. Although we didn't have electricity for 10 days, we had a generator to run a small portable air-conditioner in the stifling heat. My boyfriend made sure we had plenty of food and water, and enough gas to power the generator while he worked overtime to help other people regain their lives in the aftermath of the storm. Many people weren't as lucky as we were. Some lost their homes. Many were poor and elderly.

术后的一个月，飓风查理袭击了我们的家。我们是幸运的。当屋顶被破坏，雨水浸入到干的墙的时候，我们没有受到任何伤害。尽管我们10天都没有电，但是我们有一台发电机来带动便携式空调来驱除炎热。我的男友确信当他外出，帮助其他人在灾后重建而加班加点的时候我们有足够的食物、水和足够的天然气来带动发电机。很多人没有能够向我们一样幸运。一些人失去了他们的家。很多是穷人和老人。

I returned to work after three months at home. Soon afterward, my boyfriend's father became very ill. His father passed away at the same hospital where his mother died. Since then the vision in my left eye has returned, and you can't even tell I had the surgery. Harry doesn't sleep above my head anymore, although he still shares our bed. I appreciate a lot more since my injury: the ability to see the world; to have a safe home and roof over my head; to be cool in the heat of summer; to have both my parents alive and in good health; to laugh at my sweet, silly dogs; and to be fortunate enough to share my life with someone who loves and cares for me.

在家待了三个月之后我重新回到了工作岗位上。就在那不久，男友的父亲病重。他的父亲去世在他母亲离开的那家医院里。从那时开始我左眼的视力也渐渐恢复，几乎很难说出我曾经做过手术。Harry 不再睡在我的头上的任何位置，尽管他还是在和我们分享一张床。自从我受伤之后，我明白了很多：能够看见这个世界；有一个安全舒适的家；炎热的夏天中感受凉爽；我的父母都健在，有着健康的身体；去嘲笑我可爱的、笨笨的狗狗；足够幸运能够和爱我和关心我的人分享我的生活。
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