It was just me and Emily snuggling on the couch one winter weekend evening last year. She was recalling the snow slide her father used to make whenever he shoveled the back deck when we lived in Colorado. The slide connected the railing to a hill below the deck, and his track would curve when it approached the back fence to give the girls a pretty long ride.
年冬天一个周末的夜晚，我和女儿埃米莉(Emily)两人依偎在沙发上。她回忆起我们一家住在科罗拉多的时候，她爸爸每次用铲子清理后院天台的积雪时总会弄出一条"雪滑梯"。这条滑梯连着楼梯扶手与天台下面的小坡，为了让女儿们多享受一会儿滑滑梯的乐趣，他还在接近后院栅栏的地方将雪滑梯做了一个弯道。
It set her off on a long series of reminiscences about our life there. From the baby deer who was shorter than the lowest fence rail, to waiting at the school bus stop, to her dad making cocoa by heating milk on top of the wooden stove, to 16-foot Christmas trees. She was speakingsoftly but steadily. I was dissolved in tears, completely unstrung by how vividly she brought back all we left behind two years ago when a new job in New York City changed our family's settled path.
这勾起了她对我们在那里的生活的一页页回忆：从那只比最低栅栏还矮的小鹿到等待校车的时光，从她爸爸用木质炉灶加热牛奶后亲手制成的可可饮料到16英尺高的圣诞树。她轻柔、平稳地讲述着过去，这些回忆让我感动落泪、唏嘘不已。她生动的叙旧把我带回到两年前我们与之告别的那些日子里。两年前，一份纽约的新工作改变了我们一家原有的安定日子。
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我们中的许多人作为在职父母都心怀愧疚。因为工作需要，我们与子女的相处时间太少，我们不得不在餐桌上接电话，我们与家人度过有名无实的假期。我们为了工作更换居所、辗转流离，而这彻底改变了孩子们的生活。
A lot of us have working-parent guilt. The time we spend away from our kids because our jobs are so demanding. The calls we take during dinner. The vacation that isn't really. The career moves we make that upend our kids' lives.
出于某种原因（文化因素？基因使然？），这种愧疚感在妈妈们身上体现得尤为强烈。我确信，爸爸们也会有类似的感受，但他们可能不像妈妈那样将这个话题常常挂在嘴边。跟我交谈过的多数女性都说，这种愧疚感一直萦绕在心，尽管我们知道这无济于事，只是白费精力。
For whatever reason (cultural? genetic?), this kind of guilt seems to run most deeply in women. I'm sure men feel it, too, and maybe they just don't talk about it as much. But for a lot of women I talk to, the guilt is relentless
文章标签:妈妈
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