A wave of recent
research has
pointed to the risks of overpraising a child. But for parents,
drawing the line between too little praise and too much has become a high-pressure balancing act.
Cara Greene, a mother of three children ages 1 to 8, is wary of
deliberately pumping up her kids' egos, for fear of instilling the sense of entitlement she sees in young adults 'who have been told they're wonderful and they can do anything.' But she also wants them to have
healthy self-esteem.
家住纽约市的卡拉•格林(Cara Greene)有三个一岁到八岁大的孩子。这位母亲一直很谨慎,不去刻意让孩子的自我膨胀,因为格林担心那样做会让孩子心中滋长出她在那些"一直以来都被告知他们很棒而且他们能做任何事"的年轻人身上所看到的那种自以为是的感觉。不过,她也希望自己的孩子们能够拥有健全的自我认知。
'We wouldn't be doing our children any favors by overinflating their egos. At the same time, I want them to have the confidence to
tackle any
challenge that is placed before them,' says Ms. Greene, of New York City.
Now, psychologists are creating a deeper and more nuanced understanding of self-esteem, which could make it easier for parents to walk that line. Some of the conclusions: It can
actually be good for kids to have low self-esteem, at least temporarily. And praise can harm if it disregards the world outside the home. Children who have a realistic