That is, tol-lol-ish!"

SIR BLENNERHASSET spent his days
In learning RODNEY'S little ways,

And closely imitated, too,
His mode of talking to his crew -

His port and paces.
An ancient tar he tried to catch

Who'd served in RODNEY'S famous batch;
But since his time long years have fled,

And RODNEY'S tars are mostly dead:
EHEU FUGACES!

But after searching near and far,
At last he found an ancient tar

Who served with RODNEY and his crew
Against the French in 'Eighty-two,

(That gained the peerage).
He gave him fifty pounds a year,

His rum, his baccy, and his beer;
And had a comfortable den

Rigged up in what, by merchantmen,
Is called the steerage.

"Now, JASPER" - 't was that sailor's name -
"Don't fear that you'll incur my blame

By saying, when it seems to you,
That there is anything I do

That RODNEY wouldn't."
The ancient sailor turned his quid,

Prepared to do as he was bid:
"Ay, ay, yer honour; to begin,

You've done away with 'swifting in' -
Well, sir, you shouldn't!

"Upon your spars I see you've clapped
Peak halliard blocks, all iron-capped.

I would not christen that a crime,
But 'twas not done in RODNEY'S time.

It looks half-witted!
Upon your maintop-stay, I see,

You always clap a selvagee!
Your stays, I see, are equalized -

No vessel, such as RODNEY prized,
Would thus be fitted!

"And RODNEY, honoured sir, would grin
To see you turning deadeyes in,

Not UP, as in the ancient way,
But downwards, like a cutter's stay -

You didn't oughter;
Besides, in seizing shrouds on board,

Breast backstays you have quite ignored;
Great RODNEY kept unto the last

Breast backstays on topgallant mast -
They make it tauter."

SIR BLENNERHASSET "swifted in,"
Turned deadeyes up, and lent a fin

To strip (as told by JASPER KNOX)
The iron capping from his blocks,

Where there was any.
SIR BLENNERHASSET does away,

With selvagees from maintop-stay;
And though it makes his sailors stare,

He rigs breast backstays everywhere -
In fact, too many.

One morning, when the saucy craft
Lay calmed, old JASPER toddled aft.

"My mind misgives me, sir, that we
Were wrong about that selvagee -

I should restore it."
"Good," said the Captain, and that day

Restored it to the maintop-stay.
Well-practised sailors often make

A much more serious mistake,
And then ignore it.

Next day old JASPER came once more:
"I think, sir, I was right before."

Well, up the mast the sailors skipped,
The selvagee was soon unshipped,

And all were merry.
Again a day, and JASPER came:

"I p'r'aps deserve your honour's blame,
I can't make up my mind," said he,

"About that cursed selvagee -
It's foolish - very.

"On Monday night I could have sworn
That maintop-stay it should adorn,

On Tuesday morning I could swear
That selvagee should not be there.

The knot's a rasper!"
"Oh, you be hanged," said CAPTAIN P.,

"Here, go ashore at Caribbee.
Get out - good bye - shove off - all right!"

Old JASPER soon was out of sight -
Farewell, old JASPER!

Ballad: PHRENOLOGY.
"COME, collar this bad man -

Around the throat he knotted me
Till I to choke began -

In point of fact, garotted me!"
So spake SIR HERBERT WRITE

To JAMES, Policeman Thirty-two -
All ruffled with his fight

SIR HERBERT was, and dirty too.
Policeman nothing said

(Though he had much to say on it),
But from the bad man's head

He took the cap that lay on it.
"No, great SIR HERBERT WHITE -

Impossible to take him up.
This man is honest quite -

Wherever did you rake him up?
"For Burglars, Thieves, and Co.,

Indeed, I'm no apologist,
But I, some years ago,

Assisted a Phrenologist.
"Observe his various bumps,

His head as I uncover it:
His morals lie in lumps

All round about and over it."
"Now take him," said SIR WHITE,

"Or you will soon be rueing it;
Bless me! I must be right, -

I caught the fellow doing it!"
Policeman calmly smiled,

"Indeed you are mistaken, sir,
You're agitated - riled -

And very badly shaken, sir.
"Sit down, and I'll explain

My system of Phrenology,
A second, please, remain" -

(A second is horology).
Policeman left his beat -

(The Bart., no longer furious,
Sat down upon a seat,

Observing, "This is curious!")
"Oh, surely, here are signs

Should soften your rigidity:
This gentleman combines

Politeness with timidity.
"Of Shyness here's a lump -

A hole for Animosity -
And like my fist his bump

Of Impecuniosity.
"Just here the bump appears

Of Innocent Hilarity,
And just behind his ears

Are Faith, and Hope, and Charity.
He of true Christian ways

As bright example sent us is -
This maxim he obeys,

'SORTE TUA CONTENTUS SIS.'
"There, let him go his ways,

He needs no stern admonishing."
The Bart., in blank amaze,

Exclaimed, "This is astonishing!
"I MUST have made a mull,

This matter I've been blind in it:
Examine, please, MY skull,

And tell me what you find in it."
That Crusher looked, and said,

With unimpaired urbanity,
"SIR HERBERT, you've a head

That teems with inhumanity.
"Here's Murder, Envy, Strife

(Propensity to kill any),
And Lies as large as life,

And heaps of Social Villany.
"Here's Love of Bran-New Clothes,

Embezzling - Arson - Deism -
A taste for Slang and Oaths,

And Fraudulent Trusteeism.
"Here's Love of Groundless Charge -

Here's Malice, too, and Trickery,
Unusually large

Your bump of Pocket-Pickery - "
"Stop!" said the Bart., "my cup

Is full - I'm worse than him in all;
Policeman, take me up -

No doubt I am some criminal!"
That Pleeceman's scorn grew large

(Phrenology had nettled it),
He took that Bart. in charge -

I don't know how they settled it.
Ballad: THE FAIRY CURATE.

ONCE a fairy
Light and airy

Married with a mortal;
Men, however,

Never, never
Pass the fairy portal.

Slyly stealing,
She to Ealing

Made a daily journey;
There she found him,

Clients round him
(He was an attorney).

Long they tarried,
Then they married.

When the ceremony
Once was ended,

Off they wended
On their moon of honey.

Twelvemonth, maybe,
Saw a baby

• learning [´lə:niŋ] n.学习；学问；知识 (初中英语单词)
• mostly [´məustli] ad.主要地；多半；通常 (初中英语单词)
• vessel [´vesəl] n.容器；船；脉管 (初中英语单词)
• restore [ri´stɔ:] vt.(使)恢复；修复 (初中英语单词)
• deserve [di´zə:v] v.应受；值得 (初中英语单词)
• ashore [ə´ʃɔ:] ad.向岸上 (初中英语单词)
• collar [´kɔlə] n.衣领；(狗等的)项圈 (初中英语单词)
• throat [θrəut] n.咽喉；嗓子；出入口 (初中英语单词)
• policeman [pə´li:smən] n.警察 (初中英语单词)
• calmly [´kɑ:mli] ad.平静地；无风浪地 (初中英语单词)
• shaken [´ʃeikən] shake的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
• system [´sistəm] n.系统，体系，制度 (初中英语单词)
• soften [´sɔfən] v.使(变)软(柔和) (初中英语单词)
• innocent [´inəsənt] a.无罪的；单纯的 (初中英语单词)
• charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.收费；冲锋 n.费用 (初中英语单词)
• saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)
• ignore [ig´nɔ:] vt.忽视，不理，不顾 (高中英语单词)
• uncover [ʌn´kʌvə] vt.揭开(盖子)；揭露 (高中英语单词)
• mistaken [mis´teikən] mistake的过去分词 (高中英语单词)
• malice [´mælis] n.恶意；怨恨；预谋 (高中英语单词)
• downwards [´daunwədz] ad.向下，以下 (英语四级单词)
• thieves [θi:vz] thief的复数 (英语四级单词)
• christen [´krisən] vt.为...施洗礼 (英语六级单词)
• animosity [æni´mɔsiti] n.仇恨；憎恨；敌意 (英语六级单词)