章节正文
this time she received me in her aunt's forlorn parlor--I hoped she
would not think my errand was to tell her I accepted her hand.
She certainly would have made the day before the reflection that
I declined it.
As soon as I came into the room I saw that she had drawn this inference,
but I also saw something which had not been in my forecast. Poor Miss
Tita's sense of her failure had produced an extraordinaryalteration in her,
but I had been too full of my literary concupiscence to think of that.
Now I perceived it; I can scarcely tell how it startled me.
She stood in the middle of the room with a face of mildness bent upon me,
and her look of forgiveness, of absolution, made her angelic.
It beautified her; she was younger; she was not a ridiculous old woman.
This optical trick gave her a sort of phantasmagoric brightness,
and while I was still the victim of it I heard a whisper somewhere
in the depths of my conscience: "Why not, after all--why not?"
It seemed to me I was ready to pay the price. Still more distinctly
however than the whisper I heard Miss Tita's own voice. I was so struck
with the different effect she made upon me that at first I was not clearly
aware of what she was saying; then I perceived she had bade me goodbye--
she said something about hoping I should be very happy.
"Goodbye--goodbye?" I repeated with an inflection interrogative
and probably foolish.
I saw she did not feel the interrogation, she only heard the words;
she had strung herself up to accepting our separation and they
fell upon her ear as a proof. "Are you going today?" she asked.
"But it doesn't matter, for whenever you go I shall not see you again.
I don't want to." And she smiled strangely, with an infinite gentleness.
She had never doubted that I had left her the day before in horror.
How could she, since I had not come back before night to contradict,
even as a simple form, such an idea? And now she had the force of soul--
Miss Tita with force of soul was a new conception--to smile at me
in her humiliation.
"What shall you do--where shall you go?" I asked.
"Oh, I don't know. I have done the great thing.
I have destroyed the papers."
"Destroyed them?" I faltered.
"Yes; what was I to keep them for? I burned them last night,
one by one, in the kitchen."
"One by one?" I repeated, mechanically.
"It took a long time--there were so many." The room seemed to go round me
as she said this, and a real darkness for a moment descended upon my eyes.
When it passed Miss Tita was there still, but the transfiguration
was over and she had changed back to a plain, dingy, elderly person.
It was in this character she spoke as she said, "I can't stay with you longer,
I can't;" and it was in this character that she turned her back upon me,
as I had turned mine upon her twenty-four hours before, and moved to
the door of her room. Here she did what I had not done when I quitted her--
she paused long enough to give me one look. I have never forgotten it
and I sometimes still suffer from it, though it was not resentful.
No, there was no resentment, nothing hard or vindictive in poor Miss Tita;
for when, later, I sent her in exchange for the portrait of Jeffrey Aspern
a larger sum of money than I had hoped to be able to gather for her,
writing to her that I had sold the picture, she kept it with thanks;
she never sent it back. I wrote to her that I had sold the picture,
but I admitted to Mrs. Prest, at the time (I met her in London,
in the autumn), that it hangs above my writing table. When I look at it
my chagrin at the loss of the letters becomes almost intolerable.
End
would not think my errand was to tell her I accepted her hand.
She certainly would have made the day before the reflection that
I declined it.
As soon as I came into the room I saw that she had drawn this inference,
but I also saw something which had not been in my forecast. Poor Miss
Tita's sense of her failure had produced an extraordinaryalteration in her,
but I had been too full of my literary concupiscence to think of that.
Now I perceived it; I can scarcely tell how it startled me.
She stood in the middle of the room with a face of mildness bent upon me,
and her look of forgiveness, of absolution, made her angelic.
It beautified her; she was younger; she was not a ridiculous old woman.
This optical trick gave her a sort of phantasmagoric brightness,
and while I was still the victim of it I heard a whisper somewhere
in the depths of my conscience: "Why not, after all--why not?"
It seemed to me I was ready to pay the price. Still more distinctly
however than the whisper I heard Miss Tita's own voice. I was so struck
with the different effect she made upon me that at first I was not clearly
aware of what she was saying; then I perceived she had bade me goodbye--
she said something about hoping I should be very happy.
"Goodbye--goodbye?" I repeated with an inflection interrogative
and probably foolish.
I saw she did not feel the interrogation, she only heard the words;
she had strung herself up to accepting our separation and they
fell upon her ear as a proof. "Are you going today?" she asked.
"But it doesn't matter, for whenever you go I shall not see you again.
I don't want to." And she smiled strangely, with an infinite gentleness.
She had never doubted that I had left her the day before in horror.
How could she, since I had not come back before night to contradict,
even as a simple form, such an idea? And now she had the force of soul--
Miss Tita with force of soul was a new conception--to smile at me
in her humiliation.
"What shall you do--where shall you go?" I asked.
"Oh, I don't know. I have done the great thing.
I have destroyed the papers."
"Destroyed them?" I faltered.
"Yes; what was I to keep them for? I burned them last night,
one by one, in the kitchen."
"One by one?" I repeated, mechanically.
"It took a long time--there were so many." The room seemed to go round me
as she said this, and a real darkness for a moment descended upon my eyes.
When it passed Miss Tita was there still, but the transfiguration
was over and she had changed back to a plain, dingy, elderly person.
It was in this character she spoke as she said, "I can't stay with you longer,
I can't;" and it was in this character that she turned her back upon me,
as I had turned mine upon her twenty-four hours before, and moved to
the door of her room. Here she did what I had not done when I quitted her--
she paused long enough to give me one look. I have never forgotten it
and I sometimes still suffer from it, though it was not resentful.
No, there was no resentment, nothing hard or vindictive in poor Miss Tita;
for when, later, I sent her in exchange for the portrait of Jeffrey Aspern
a larger sum of money than I had hoped to be able to gather for her,
writing to her that I had sold the picture, she kept it with thanks;
she never sent it back. I wrote to her that I had sold the picture,
but I admitted to Mrs. Prest, at the time (I met her in London,
in the autumn), that it hangs above my writing table. When I look at it
my chagrin at the loss of the letters becomes almost intolerable.
End
- errand [´erənd]
n.差使，使命 (初中英语单词) - reflection [ri´flekʃən] n.反射；映象；想法 (初中英语单词)
- failure [´feiljə] n.失败；衰竭；破产 (初中英语单词)
- extraordinary [ik´strɔ:dinəri] a.非常的；额外的 (初中英语单词)
- literary [´litərəri] a.文学(上)的 (初中英语单词)
- victim [´viktim] n.牺牲者；受害者 (初中英语单词)
- whisper [´wispə] v.耳语 n.低语；沙沙声 (初中英语单词)
- conscience [´kɔnʃəns] n.良心；道德心 (初中英语单词)
- whenever [wen´evə] conj.&ad.无论何时 (初中英语单词)
- strangely [´streindʒli] ad.奇怪地；陌生地 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性；性质；人物；字 (初中英语单词)
- writing [´raitiŋ] n.书写；写作；书法 (初中英语单词)
- forlorn [fə´lɔ:n] a.被遗弃的；绝望的 (高中英语单词)
- forgiveness [fə´givnis] n.原谅，饶恕；宽仁 (高中英语单词)
- ridiculous [ri´dikjuləs] a.荒谬的；可笑的 (高中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)
- repeated [ri´pi:tid] a.反复的；重复的 (高中英语单词)
- separation [,sepə´reiʃən] n.分离；分开；分居 (高中英语单词)
- infinite [´infinit] a.无限的，无穷的 (高中英语单词)
- resentment [ri´zentmənt] n.不满；怨恨；忿恨 (高中英语单词)
- portrait [´pɔ:trit] n.肖像；相片；雕像 (高中英语单词)
- alteration [,ɔ:ltə´reiʃən] n.改变，变更 (英语四级单词)
- elderly [´eldəli] a. 较老的，年长的 (英语四级单词)
- forecast [´fɔ:kɑ:st] vt.&n.预测；预报 (英语六级单词)
- chagrin [´ʃægrin] n.悔恨，懊恼，委曲 (英语六级单词)
文章标签:名著
章节正文
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