time
previous to the governorship of the Westward Islands, Acton
Hague had died, in the bleak honour of this exile, of an illness
consequent on the bite of a
poisonous snake. His
career was
compressed by the newspaper into a dozen lines, the perusal of
which excited on George Stransom's part no warmer feeling than one
of
relief at the
absence of any mention of their quarrel, an
incident
accidentally tainted at the time, thanks to their joint
immersion in large affairs, with a
horrible publicity. Public
indeed was the wrong Stransom had, to his own sense, suffered, the
insult he had blankly taken from the only man with whom he had ever
been
intimate; the friend, almost adored, of his University years,
the subject, later, of his
passionateloyalty: so public that he
had never
spoken of it to a human creature, so public that he had
completely overlooked it. It had made the difference for him that
friendship too was all over, but it had only made just that one.
The shock of interests had been private,
intensely" target="_blank" title="ad.激烈地;热切地">
intensely so; but the
action taken by Hague had been in the face of men. To-day it all
seemed to have occurred merely to the end that George Stransom
should think of him as "Hague" and
measure exactly how much he
himself could
resemble a stone. He went cold, suddenly and
horribly cold, to bed.
CHAPTER III.
THE next day, in the afternoon, in the great grey
suburb, he knew
his long walk had tired him. In the
dreadfulcemetery alone he had
been on his feet an hour. Instinctively, coming back, they had
taken him a devious course, and it was a desert in which no
circling cabman hovered over possible prey. He paused on a corner
and
measured the dreariness; then he made out through the gathered
dusk that he was in one of those tracts of London which are less
gloomy by night than by day, because, in the former case of the
civil gift of light. By day there was nothing, but by night there
were lamps, and George Stransom was in a mood that made lamps good
in themselves. It wasn't that they could show him anything, it was
only that they could burn clear. To his surprise, however, after a
while, they did show him something: the arch of a high doorway
approached by a low
terrace of steps, in the depth of which - it
formed a dim vestibule - the raising of a curtain at the moment he
passed gave him a
glimpse of an avenue of gloom with a glow of
tapers at the end. He stopped and looked up, recognising the place
as a church. The thought quickly came to him that since he was
tired he might rest there; so that after a moment he had in turn
pushed up the leathern curtain and gone in. It was a
temple of the
old
persuasion, and there had
evidently been a
function - perhaps a
service for the dead; the high altar was still a blaze of candles.
This was an
exhibition he always liked, and he dropped into a seat
with
relief. More than it had ever yet come home to him it struck
him as good there should be churches.
This one was almost empty and the other altars were dim; a verger
shuffled about, an old woman coughed, but it seemed to Stransom
there was
hospitality in the thick sweet air. Was it only the
savour of the
incense or was it something of larger
intention? He
had at any rate quitted the great grey
suburb and come nearer to
the warm centre. He
presently ceased to feel intrusive, gaining at
last even a sense of
community with the only
worshipper in his
neighbourhood, the sombre presence of a woman, in mourning
unrelieved, whose back was all he could see of her and who had sunk
deep into prayer at no great distance from him. He wished he could
sink, like her, to the very bottom, be as
motionless, as rapt in
prostration. After a few moments he shifted his seat; it was
almost indelicate to be so aware of her. But Stransom subsequently
quite lost himself, floating away on the sea of light. If
occasions like this had been more
frequent in his life he would
have had more present the great
original type, set up in a myriad
temples, of the unapproachable
shrine he had erected in his mind.
That
shrine had begun in vague
likeness to church pomps, but the
echo had ended by growing more
distinct than the sound. The sound
now rang out, the type blazed at him with all its fires and with a
mystery of
radiance in which endless meanings could glow. The
thing became as he sat there his
appropriate altar and each starry
candle an
appropriate vow. He numbered them, named them, grouped
them - it was the silent roll-call of his Dead. They made together
a
brightness vast and
intense, a
brightness in which the mere
chapel of his thoughts grew so dim that as it faded away he asked
himself if he shouldn't find his real comfort in some material act,
some
outwardworship.
This idea took possession of him while, at a distance, the black-
robed lady continued
prostrate; he was quietly thrilled with his
conception, which at last brought him to his feet in the sudden
excitement of a plan. He wandered
softly through the aisles,
pausing in the different chapels, all save one
applied to a special
devotion. It was in this clear
recess, lampless and un
applied,
that he stood longest - the length of time it took him fully to
grasp the
conception of gilding it with his
bounty. He should
snatch it from no other rites and
associate it with nothing
profane; he would simply take it as it should be given up to him
and make it a
masterpiece of splendour and a mountain of fire.
Tended
sacredly all the year, with the sanctifying church round it,
it would always be ready for his offices. There would be
difficulties, but from the first they presented themselves only as
difficulties surmounted. Even for a person so little affiliated
the thing would be a matter of
arrangement. He saw it all in
advance, and how bright in
especial the place would become to him
in the intermissions of toil and the dusk of afternoons; how rich
in
assurance at all times, but
especially in the
indifferent world.
Before withdrawing he drew nearer again to the spot where he had
first sat down, and in the
movement he met the lady whom he had
seen praying and who was now on her way to the door. She passed
him quickly, and he had only a
glimpse of her pale face and her
un
conscious, almost sightless eyes. For that
instant she looked
faded and handsome.
This was the
origin of the rites more public, yet certainly
esoteric, that he at last found himself able to establish. It took
a long time, it took a year, and both the process and the result
would have been - for any who knew - a vivid picture of his good
faith. No one did know, in fact - no one but the bland
ecclesiastics whose
acquaintance he had
promptly sought, whose
objections he had
softly overridden, whose
curiosity and sympathy
he had artfully charmed, whose
assent to his
eccentric munificence
he had
eventually won, and who had asked for concessions in
exchange for indulgences. Stransom had of course at an early stage
of his enquiry been referred to the Bishop, and the Bishop had been
delightfully human, the Bishop had been almost amused. Success was
within sight, at any rate from the moment the attitude of those
whom it
concerned became
liberal in
response to
liberality. The
altar and the
sacred shell that half encircled it, consecrated to
an ostensible and
customaryworship, were to be splendidly
maintained; all that Stransom reserved to himself was the number of
his lights and the free
enjoyment of his
intention. When the
intention had taken complete effect the
enjoyment became even
greater than he had ventured to hope. He liked to think of this
effect when far from it, liked to
convince himself of it yet again
when near. He was not often indeed so near as that a visit to it
hadn't perforce something of the
patience of a
pilgrimage; but the
time he gave to his
devotion came to seem to him more a
contribution to his other interests than a betrayal of them. Even
a loaded life might be easier when one had added a new necessity to
it.
How much easier was probably never guessed by those who simply knew
there were hours when he disappeared and for many of whom there was
a
vulgarreading of what they used to call his plunges. These
plunges were into depths quieter than the deep sea-caves, and the
habit had at the end of a year or two become the one it would have
cost him most to
relinquish. Now they had really, his Dead,
something that was indefensibly
theirs; and he liked to think that
they might in cases be the Dead of others, as well as that the Dead
of others might be invoked there under the
protection of what he
had done. Whoever bent a knee on the
carpet he had laid down
appeared to him to act in the spirit of his
intention. Each of his