usted comer?' ('Will your Lordship please to eat?') The
contrast between the people and the nobles in this respect

was very marked. We saw something of the latter in the club
at Seville, where one met men whose high-sounding names and

titles have come down to us from the greatest epochs of
Spanish history. Their ignorance was surprising. Not one of

them had been farther than Madrid. Not one of them knew a
word of any language but his own, nor was he acquainted with

the rudiments even of his country's history. Their
conversation was restricted to the bull-ring and the cockpit,

to cards and women. Their chief aim seemed to be to stagger
us with the number of quarterings they bore upon their

escutcheons; and they appraised others by a like estimate.
Cayley, tickled with the humour of their childish vanity,

painted an elaborate coat of arms, which he stuck in the
crown of his hat, and by means of which he explained to them

that he too was by rights a Spanish nobleman. With the
utmost gravity he delivered some such medley as this: His

Iberian origin dated back to the time of Hannibal, who, after
his defeat of the Papal forces and capture of Rome, had, as

they well knew, married Princess Peri Banou, youngest
daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella. The issue of the

marriage was the famous Cardinal Chicot, from whom he -
George Cayley - was of direct male descent. When Chicot was

slain by Oliver Cromwell at the battle of Hastings, his
descendants, foiled in their attempt to capture England with

the Spanish Armada, settled in the principality of Yorkshire,
adopted the noble name of Cayley, and still governed that

province as members of the British Parliament.
From that day we were treated with every mark of distinction.

Here is another of my friend's pranks. I will let Cayley
speak; for though I kept no journal, we had agreed to write a

joint account of our trip, and our notebooks were common
property.

After leaving Malaga we met some beggars on the road, to one
of whom, 'an old hag with one eye and a grizzly beard,' I

threw the immense sum of a couple of 2-cuarto pieces. An old
man riding behind us on an ass with empty panniers, seeing

fortunes being scattered about the road with such reckless
and unbounded profusion, came up alongside, and entered into

a piteous detail of his poverty. When he wound up with plain
begging, the originality and boldness of the idea of a

mounted beggar struck us in so humorous a light that we could
not help laughing. As we rode along talking his case over,

Cayley said, 'Suppose we rob him. He has sold his market
produce in Malaga, and depend upon it, has a pocketful of

money.' We waited for him to come up. When he got fairly
between us, Cayley pulled out his revolver (we both carried

pistols) and thus addressed him:
'Impudent old scoundrel! stand still. If thou stirr'st hand

or foot, or openest thy mouth, I will slay thee like a dog.
Thou greedy miscreant, who art evidently a man of property

and hast an ass to ride upon, art not satisfied without
trying to rob the truly poor of the alms we give them.

Therefore hand over at once the two dollars for which thou
hast sold thy cabbages for double what they were worth.'

The old culprit fell on his knees, and trembling violently,
prayed Cayley for the love of the Virgin to spare him.

'One moment, CABALLEROS,' he cried, 'I will give you all I
possess. But I am poor, very poor, and I have a sick wife at

the disposition of your worships.'
'Wherefore art thou fumbling at thy foot? Thou carriest not

thy wife in thy shoe?'
'I cannot untie the string - my hand trembles; will your

worships permit me to take out my knife?'
He did so, and cutting the carefully knotted thong of a

leather bag which had been concealed in the leg of his
stocking, poured out a handful of small coin and began to

weep piteously.
Said Cayley, 'Come, come, none of that, or we shall feel it

our duty to shoot thy donkey that thou may'st have something
to whimper for.'

The genuine tears of the poor old fellow at last touched the
heart of the jester.

'We know now that thou art poor,' said he, 'for we have taken
all thou hadst. And as it is the religion of the Ingleses,

founded on the practice of their celebrated saint, Robino
Hoodo, to levy funds from the rich for the benefit of the

needy, hold out thy sombero, and we will bestow a trifle upon
thee.'

So saying he poured back the plunder; to which was added, to
the astonishment of the receiver, some supplementary pieces

that nearly equalled the original sum.
CHAPTER XXXIV

BEFORE setting out from Seville we had had our Foreign Office
passports duly VISED. Our profession was given as that of

travelling artists, and the VISE included the permission to
carry arms. More than once the sight of our pistols caused

us to be stopped by the CARABINEROS. On one occasion these
road-guards disputed the wording of the VISE. They protested

that 'armas' meant 'escopetas,' not pistols, which were
forbidden. Cayley indignantly retorted, 'Nothing is

forbidden to Englishmen. Besides, it is specified in our
passports that we are 'personas de toda confianza,' which

checkmated them.
We both sketched, and passed ourselves off as 'retratistas'

(portrait painters), and did a small business in this way -
rather in the shape of caricatures, I fear, but which gave

much satisfaction. We charged one peseta (seven-pence), or
two, a head, according to the means of the sitter. The

fiction that we were earning our bread wholesomely tended to
moderate the charge for it.

Passing through the land of Don Quixote's exploits, we
reverentially visited any known spot which these had rendered

famous. Amongst such was the VENTA of Quesada, from which,
or from Quixada, as some conjecture, the knight derived his

surname. It was here, attracted by its castellated style,
and by two 'ladies of pleasure' at its door - whose virginity

he at once offered to defend, that he spent the night of his
first sally. It was here that, in his shirt, he kept guard

till morning over the armour he had laid by the well. It was
here that, with his spear, he broke the head of the carrier

whom he took for another knight bent on the rape of the
virginprincesses committed to his charge. Here, too, it was

that the host of the VENTA dubbed him with the coveted
knighthood which qualified him for his noble deeds.

To Quesada we wended our way. We asked the Senor Huesped
whether he knew anything of the history of his VENTA. Was it

not very ancient?
'Oh no, it was quite modern. But on the site of it had stood

a fine VENTA which was burnt down at the time of the war.'
'An old building?'

'Yes, indeed! A COSA DE SIEMPRE - thing of always. Nothing,
was left of it now but that well, and the stone trough.'

These bore marks of antiquity, and were doubtless as the
gallant knight had left them. Curiously, too, there were

remains of an outhouse with a crenellated parapet, suggestive
enough of a castle.