made a very distinguishing appearance. While my eyes were fixed
on that
monarch a very small spirit came up to me, shook me
heartily by the hand, and told me his name was THOMAS THUMB. I
expressed great
satisfaction in
seeing him, nor could I help
speaking my
resentment against the
historian, who had done such
injustice to the
stature of this great little man, which he
represented to be no bigger than a span,
whereas I plainly
perceived at first sight he was full a foot and a half (and the
37th part of an inch more, as he himself informed me), being
indeed little shorter than some
considerable beaux of the present
age. I asked this little hero
concerning the truth of those
stories
related of him, viz., of the
pudding, and the cow's
belly. As to the former, he said it was a
ridiculous legend,
worthy to be laughed at; but as to the latter, he could not help
owning there was some truth in it: nor had he any reason to be
ashamed of it, as he was swallowed by surprise; adding, with
great
fierceness, that if he had had any
weapon in his hand the
cow should have as soon swallowed the devil.
He spoke the last word with so much fury, and seemed so
confounded, that, perceiving the effect it had on him, I
immediately waived the story, and, passing to other matters, we
had much conversation
touching giants. He said, so far from
killing any, he had never seen one alive; that he believed those
actions were by mistake recorded of him, instead of Jack the
giant-killer, whom he knew very well, and who had, he fancied,
extirpated the race. I
assured him to the
contrary, and told him
I had myself seen a huge tame giant, who very complacently stayed
in London a whole winter, at the special request of several
gentlemen and ladies; though the affairs of his family called him
home to Sweden.
I now
beheld a stern-looking spirit leaning on the shoulder of
another spirit, and
presently discerned the former to be Oliver
Cromwell, and the latter Charles Martel. I own I was a little
surprised at
seeing Cromwell here, for I had been taught by my
grandmother that he was carried away by the devil himself in a
tempest; but he
assured me, on his honor, there was not the least
truth in that story. However, he confessed he had narrowly
escaped the bottomless pit; and, if the former part of his
conduct had not been more to his honor than the latter, he had
been certainly soused into it. He was,
nevertheless, sent back
to the upper world with this lot:--ARMY, CAVALIER, DISTRESS.
He was born, for the second time, the day of Charles II's
restoration, into a family which had lost a very
considerablefortune in the service of that
prince and his father, for which
they received the
reward very often conferred by
princes on real
merit, viz.--000. At 16 his father bought a small
commission for
him in the army, in which he served without any
promotion all the
reigns of Charles II and of his brother. At the Revolution he
quitted his
regiment, and followed the fortunes of his former
master, and was in his service
dangerously wounded at the famous
battle of the Boyne, where he fought in the
capacity of a private
soldier. He recovered of this wound, and
retired after the
unfortunate king to Paris, where he was reduced to support a wife
and seven children (for his lot had horns in it) by cleaning
shoes and snuffing candles at the opera. In which situation,
after he had spent a few
miserable years, he died half-starved
and broken-hearted. He then revisited Minos, who,
compassionating his sufferings by means of that family, to whom
he had been in his former
capacity so bitter an enemy, suffered
him to enter here.
My
curiosity would not
refrain asking him one question, i. e.,
whether in
reality he had any desire to
obtain the crown? He
smiled, and said, "No more than an ecclesiastic hath to the
miter, when he cries Nolo episcopari." Indeed, he seemed to
express some
contempt at the question, and
presently turned away.
A
venerable spirit appeared next, whom I found to be the great
historian Livy. Alexander the Great, who was just arrived from
the palace of death, passed by him with a frown. The
historian,
observing it, said, "Ay, you may frown; but those troops which
conquered the base Asiatic slaves would have made no figure
against the Romans." We then
privately lamented the loss of the
most
valuable part of his history; after which he took occasion
to
commend the
judiciouscollection made by Mr. Hook, which, he
said, was
infinitely preferable to all others; and at my
mentioning Echard's he gave a
bounce, not
unlike the going off of
a squib, and was departing from me, when I begged him to satisfy
my
curiosity in one point--whether he was really
superstitious or
no? For I had always believed he was till Mr. Leibnitz had
assured me to the
contrary. He answered
sullenly, "Doth Mr.
Leibnitz know my mind better than myself?" and then walked away.
CHAPTER X
The author is surprised at meeting Julian the apostate in
Elysium; but is satisfied by him by what means he
procured his
entrance there. Julian relates his adventures in the character
of a slave.
As he was departing I heard him
salute a spirit by the name of
Mr. Julian the apostate. This
exceedingly amazed me; for I had
concluded that no man ever had a better title to the bottomless
pit than he. But I soon found that this same Julian the apostate
was also the very individual
bishop" target="_blank" title="n.大主教">
archbishop Latimer. He told me that
several lies had been raised on him in his former
capacity, nor
was he so bad a man as he had been represented. However, he had
been denied admittance, and forced to
undergo several subsequent
pilgrimages on earth, and to act in the different characters of a
slave, a Jew, a general, an heir, a
carpenter, a beau, a monk, a
fiddler, a wise man, a king, a fool, a
beggar, a
prince, a
statesman, a soldier, a
tailor, an
alderman, a poet, a
knight, a
dancing-master, and three times a
bishop, before his martyrdom,
which, together with his other
behavior in this last character,
satisfied the judge, and
procured him a passage to the blessed
regions.
I told him such various characters must have produced incidents
extremely entertaining; and if he remembered all, as I supposed
he did, and had
leisure, I should be obliged to him for the
recital. He answered he
perfectly recollected every
circumstance; and as to
leisure, the only business of that happy
place was to
contribute to the happiness of each other. He
therefore thanked me for adding to his, in proposing to him a
method of increasing mine. I then took my little
darling in one
hand, and my favorite fellow-traveler in the other, and, going
with him to a sunny bank of flowers, we all sat down, and he
began as follows:-- "I suppose you are
sufficiently acquainted
with my story during the time I acted the part of the
emperorJulian, though I assure you all which hath been
related of me is
not true, particularly with regard to the many prodigies
forerunning my death. However, they are now very little worth
disputing; and if they can serve any purpose of the
historianthey are
extremely at his service. "My next entrance into the
world was at Laodicea, in Syria, in a Roman family of no great
note; and, being of a roving
disposition, I came at the age of
seventeen to Constantinople, where, after about a year's stay, I
set out for Thrace, at the time when the
emperor Valens admitted
the Goths into that country. I was there so captivated with the
beauty of a Gothic lady, the wife of one Rodoric, a captain,
whose name, out of the most
delicatetenderness for her lovely
sex, I shall even at this distance
conceal; since her
behavior to
me was more
consistent with good-nature than with that
virtuewhich women are obliged to
preserve against every
assailant. In
order to
procure an
intimacy with this woman I sold myself a
slave to her husband, who, being of a nation not over-inclined to
jealousy, presented me to his wife, for those very reasons which
would have induced one of a
jealouscomplexion to have withheld
me from her,
namely, for that I was young and handsome.
"Matters succeeded so far according to my wish, and the sequel
answered those hopes which this
beginning had raised. I soon
perceived my service was very
acceptable to her; I often met her
eyes, nor did she
withdraw them without a
confusion which is
scarce
consistent with entire
purity of heart. Indeed, she gave
me every day fresh
encouragement; but the
unhappy distance which
circumstances had placed between us deterred me long from making
any direct attack; and she was too
strict an
observer of decorum
to
violate the
severe rules of
modesty by advancing first; but
passion at last got the better of my respect, and I
resolved to
make one bold attempt,
whatever was the consequence.