knowledge to the learned, without courage to the brave, and

without goodness and virtue to the good and virtuous; surely so
preposterous, so absurd a pride, would justly render me the

object of ridicule. But far be it from me to entertain it. And
yet, gentlemen, I prize the lot I have drawn, nor would I

exchange it with any of yours, seeing it is in my eye so much
greater than the rest. Ambition, which I own myself possessed

of, teaches me this; ambition, which makes me covet praise,
assures me that I shall enjoy a much larger proportion of it than

can fall within your power either to deserve or obtain. I am
then superior to you all, when I am able to do more good, and

when I execute that power. What the father is to the son, the
guardian to the orphan, or the patron to his client, that am I to

you. You are my children, to whom I will be a father, a
guardian, and a patron. Not one evening in my long reign (for so

it is to be) will I repose myself to rest without the glorious,
the heart-warming consideration, that thousands that night owe

their sweetest rest to me. What a delicious fortune is it to him
whose strongest appetite is doing good, to have every day the

opportunity and the power of satisfying it! If such a man hath
ambition, how happy is it for him to be seated so on high, that

every act blazes abroad, and attracts to him praises tainted with
neither sarcasm nor adulation, but such as the nicest and most

delicate mind may relish! Thus, therefore, while you derive your
good from me, I am your superior. If to my strict distribution

of justice you owe the safety of your property from domestic
enemies; if by my vigilance and valor you are protected from

foreign foes; if by my encouragement of genuine industry, every
science, every art which can embellish or sweeten life, is

produced and flourishes among you; will any of you be so
insensible or ungrateful as to deny praise and respect to him by

whose care and conduct you enjoy these blessings? I wonder not
at the censure which so frequently falls on those in my station;

but I wonder that those in my station so frequently deserve it.
What strange perverseness of nature! What wanton delight in

mischief must taint his composition, who prefers dangers,
difficulty, and disgrace, by doing evil, to safety, ease, and

honor, by doing good! who refuses happiness in the other world,
and heaven in this, for misery there and hell here! But, be

assured, my intentions are different. I shall always endeavor
the ease, the happiness, and the glory of my people, being

confident that, by so doing, I take the most certain method of
procuring them all to myself."--He then struck directly into the

road of goodness, and received such a shout of applause as I
never remember to have heard equaled. He was gone a little way

when a spirit limped after him, swearing he would fetch him back.
This spirit, I was presently informed, was one who had drawn the

lot of his prime minister.
CHAPTER VI

An account of the wheel of fortune, with a method of preparing a
spirit for this world.

We now proceeded on our journey, without staying to see whether
he fulfilled his word or no; and without encountering anything

worth mentioning, came to the place where the spirits on their
passage to the other world were obliged to decide by lot the

station in which every one was to act there. Here was a
monstrous wheel, infinitely larger than those in which I had

formerly seen lottery-tickets deposited. This was called the
WHEEL OF FORTUNE.

The goddess herself was present. She was one of the most
deformed females I ever beheld; nor could I help observing the

frowns she expressed when any beautiful spirit of her own sex
passed by her, nor the affability which smiled in her countenance

on the approach of any handsome male spirits. Hence I accounted
for the truth of an observation I had often made on earth, that

nothing is more fortunate than handsome men, nor more unfortunate
than handsome women. The reader may be perhaps pleased with an

account of the whole method of equipping a spirit for his
entrance into the flesh.

First, then, he receives from a very sage person, whose look much
resembled that of an apothecary (his warehouselikewise bearing

an affinity to an apothecary's shop), a small phial inscribed,
THE PATHETIC POTION, to be taken just before you are born. This

potion is a mixture of all the passions, but in no exact
proportion, so that sometimes one predominates, and sometimes

another; nay, often in the hurry of making up, one particular
ingredient is, as we were informed, left out. The spirit

receiveth at the same time another medicine called the NOUSPHORIC
DECOCTION, of which he is to drink ad libitum. This decoction is

an extract from the faculties of the mind, sometimes extremely
strong and spirituous, and sometimes altogether as weak; for very

little care is taken in the preparation. This decoction is so
extremely bitter and unpleasant, that, notwithstanding its

wholesomeness, several spirits will not be persuaded to swallow a
drop of it, but throw it away, or give it to any other who will

receive it; by which means some who were not disgusted by the
nauseousness drank double and treble portions. I observed a

beautiful young female, who, tasting it immediately from
curiosity, screwed up her face and cast it from her with great

disdain, whence advancing presently to the wheel, she drew a
coronet, which she clapped up so eagerly that I could not

distinguish the degree; and indeed I observed several of the same
sex, after a very small sip, throw the bottles away. As soon as

the spirit is dismissed by the operator, or apothecary, he is at
liberty to approach the wheel, where he hath a right to extract a

single lot: but those whom Fortune favors she permits sometimes
secretly to draw three or four. I observed a comical kind of

figure who drew forth a handful, which, when he opened, were a
bishop, a general, a privy-counselor, a player, and a poet-

laureate, and, returning the three first, he walked off, smiling,
with the two last. Every single lot contained two more articles,

which were generally disposed so as to render the lots as equal
as possible to each other; on one was written, EARL, RICHES,

HEALTH, DISQUIETUDE; on another, COBLER, SICKNESS, GOOD-HUMOR; on
a third, POET, CONTEMPT, SELF-SATISFACTION; on a fourth, GENERAL,

HONOR, DISCONTENT; on a fifth, COTTAGE, HAPPY LOVE; on a sixth,
COACH AND SIX, IMPOTENT JEALOUS HUSBAND; on a seventh, PRIME

MINISTER, DISGRACE; on an eighth, PATRIOT, GLORY; on a ninth,
PHILOSOPHER, POVERTY, EASE; on a tenth, MERCHANT, RICHES, CARE.

And indeed the whole seemed to contain such a mixture of good and
evil, that it would have puzzled me which to choose. I must not

omit here that in every lot was directed whether the drawer
should marry or remain in celibacy, the married lots being all

marked with a large pair of horns. We were obliged, before we
quitted this place, to take each of us an emetic from the

apothecary, which immediately purged us of all our earthly
passions, and presently the cloud forsook our eyes, as it doth

those of Aeneas in Virgil, when removed by Venus; and we
discerned things in a much clearer light than before. We began

to compassionate those spirits who were making their entry into
the flesh, whom we had till then secretly envied, and to long

eagerly for those delightful plains which now opened themselves
to our eyes, and to which we now hastened with the utmost

eagerness. On our way we met with several spirits with very
dejected countenances; but our expedition would not suffer us to

ask any questions. At length we arrived at the gate of Elysium.
Here was a prodigious crowd of spirits waiting for admittance,

some of whom were admitted, and some were rejected; for all were
strictly examined by the porter, whom I soon discovered to be the

celebrated judge Minos.
CHAPTER VII

The proceedings of judge Minos at the gate of Elysium.
I now got near enough to the gate to hear the several claims of

those who endeavored to pass. The first among other pretensions,
set forth that he had been very liberal to an hospital; but Minos

answered, "Ostentation," and repulsed him. The second exhibited
that he had constantly frequented his church, been a rigid