examine their marks. The
anxiety of his hosts at these moments
resembled the solicitude of a cat whose newly born kittens are being
handed round for inspection.
"Let me see; did you give me back the mustard-pot? This is its
place here," piped Mrs. Peter.
"Sorry. I put it down by the claret-jug," said Wilfrid, busy with
another object.
"Oh, just let me have the sugar-sifter again," asked Mrs. Peter,
dogged
determination showing through her nervousness; "I must label
it who it comes from before I forget."
Vigilance was not completely crowned with a sense of
victory. After
they had said "Good-night" to their
visitor, Mrs. Peter expressed
her
conviction that he had taken something.
"I fancy, by his manner, that there was something up," corroborated
her husband; "do you miss anything?"
Mrs. Peters
hastily counted the array of gifts.
"I can only make it thirty-four, and I think it should be thirty-
five," she announced; "I can't remember if thirty-five includes the
Archdeacon's cruet-stand that hasn't arrived yet."
"How on earth are we to know?" said Peter. "The mean pig hasn't
brought us a present, and I'm hanged if he shall carry one off."
"To-
morrow, when's he having his bath," said Mrs. Peter excitedly,
"he's sure to leave his keys somewhere, and we can go through his
portmanteau. It's the only thing to do."
On the
morrow an alert watch was kept by the conspirators behind
half-closed doors, and when Wilfrid, clad in a
gorgeous bath-robe,
had made his way to the bath-room, there was a swift and furtive
rush by two excited individuals towards the
principal guest-chamber.
Mrs. Peter kept guard outside, while her husband first made a
hurried and successful search for the keys, and then plunged at the
portmanteau with the air of a disagreeably
conscientious Customs
official. The quest was a brief one; a silver cream jug lay
embedded in the folds of some zephyr shirts.
"The
cunning brute," said Mrs. Peters; "he took a cream jug because
there were so many; he thought one wouldn't be missed. Quick, fly
down with it and put it back among the others."
Wilfrid was late in coming down to breakfast, and his manner showed
plainly that something was amiss.
"It's an
unpleasant thing to have to say," he blurted out presently,
"but I'm afraid you must have a thief among your servants.
Something's been taken out of my portmanteau. It was a little
present from my mother and myself for your silver
wedding. I should
have given it to you last night after dinner, only it happened to be
a cream jug, and you seemed annoyed at having so many duplicates, so
I felt rather
awkward about giving you another. I thought I'd get
it changed for something else, and now it's gone."
"Did you say it was from your MOTHER and yourself?" asked Mr. and
Mrs. Peter almost in
unison. The Snatcher had been an
orphan these
many years.
"Yes, my mother's at Cairo just now, and she wrote to me at Dresden
to try and get you something
quaint and pretty in the old silver
line, and I pitched on this cream jug."
Both the Pigeoncotes had turned
deadly pale. The mention of Dresden
had thrown a sudden light on the situation. It was Wilfrid the
Attache, a very superior young man, who
rarely came within their
social
horizon, whom they had been entertaining unawares in the
supposed
character of Wilfrid the Snatcher. Lady Ernestine
Pigeoncote, his mother, moved in circles which were entirely beyond
their
compass or ambitions, and the son would probably one day be an
Ambassador. And they had rifled and despoiled his portmanteau!
Husband and wife looked blankly and
desperately" target="_blank" title="ad.绝望地;拼命地">
desperately at one another. It
was Mrs. Peter who arrived first at an inspiration.
"How
dreadful to think there are
thieves in the house! We keep the
drawing-room locked up at night, of course, but anything might be
carried off while we are at breakfast."
She rose and went out
hurriedly, as though to assure herself that
the drawing-room was not being stripped of its silverware, and
returned a moment later,
bearing a cream jug in her hands.
"There are eight cream jugs now, instead of seven," she cried; "this
one wasn't there before. What a curious trick of memory, Mr.
Wilfrid! You must have slipped
downstairs with it last night and
put it there before we locked up, and forgotten all about having
done it in the morning."
"One's mind often plays one little tricks like that," said Mr.
Peter, with
desperate heartiness. "Only the other day I went into
the town to pay a bill, and went in again next day, having clean
forgotten that I'd--"
"It is certainly the jug I bought for you," said Wilfrid, looking
closely at it; "it was in my portmanteau when I got my bath-robe out
this morning, before going to my bath, and it was not there when I
unlocked the portmanteau on my return. Some one had taken it while
I was away from the room."
The Pigeoncotes had turned paler than ever. Mrs. Peter had a final
inspiration.
"Get me my smelling-salts, dear," she said to her husband; "I think
they're in the dressing-room."
Peter dashed out of the room with glad
relief; he had lived so long
during the last few minutes that a golden
wedding seemed within
measurable distance.
Mrs. Peter turned to her guest with
confidential coyness.
"A
diplomat like you will know how to treat this as if it hadn't
happened. Peter's little
weakness; it runs in the family."
"Good Lord! Do you mean to say he's a kleptomaniac, like Cousin
Snatcher?"
"Oh, not exactly," said Mrs. Peter,
anxious to whitewash her husband
a little greyer than she was
painting him. "He would never touch
anything he found lying about, but he can't
resist making a raid on
things that are locked up. The doctors have a special name for it.
He must have pounced on your portmanteau the moment you went to your
bath, and taken the first thing he came across. Of course, he had
no
motive for
taking a cream jug; we've already got seven, as you
know--not, of course, that we don't value the kind of gift you and
your mother--hush here's Peter coming."
Mrs. Peter broke off in some
confusion, and tripped out to meet her
husband in the hall.
"It's all right," she whispered to him; "I've explained everything.
Don't say anything more about it."
"Brave little woman," said Peter, with a gasp of
relief; "I could
never have done it."
* * *
Diplomatic reticence does not
necessarily extend to family affairs.
Peter Pigeoncote was never able to understand why Mrs. Consuelo van
Bullyon, who stayed with them in the spring, always carried two very
obvious jewel-cases with her to the bath-room, explaining them to
any one she chanced to meet in the
corridor as her manicure and
face-massage set.
THE OCCASIONAL GARDEN
"Don't talk to me about town gardens," said Elinor Rapsley; "which
means, of course, that I want you to listen to me for an hour or so
while I talk about nothing else. 'What a nice-sized garden you've
got,' people said to us when we first moved here. What I suppose
they meant to say was what a nice-sized site for a garden we'd got.
As a matter of fact, the size is all against it; it's too large to
be ignored
altogether and treated as a yard, and it's too small to
keep giraffes in. You see, if we could keep giraffes or
reindeer or
some other
species of browsing animal there we could explain the
general
absence of
vegetation by a
reference to the fauna of the
garden: 'You can't have wapiti AND Darwin tulips, you know, so we
didn't put down any bulbs last year.' As it is, we haven't got the
wapiti, and the Darwin tulips haven't survived the fact that most of