深圳大学 赖小琪

Today I came across one of my good friends on campus. it seemed that I did not see him for a long time. In the past we shared the same class and met several times a week. But after that semester we fell apart in different courses and only by making a date through phone could we gathered to enjoy a meal. But strangely, I had not seen him since the beginning of this semester, and learnt nothing about him. So I felt quite surprised and pleased to meet him on campus today.

I was eager to ask him what had happened to him and why he disappeared for these several months. He squeezed a mile to me bitterly and his eyes turned sorely red, tears spinning outside. I was totally stunned by this 1.8-meter tall man and comforting him, asking him to tell me what the trouble was. Then he wept out all the grief-stricken matters. His mother was diagnosed liver cancer several months ago. It was a terminal illness then and the doctor had no effective therapy to cure her grave disease. Just a week ago, his mother went to heaven under the great torture of the cancer. According to his heartbroken words, I learnt that the illness had imposed tremendous pain to his mother and even the most potent drug could hardly relieve her agony even a little! His mother asked for euthanasia constantly to get rid of the pain, but as all her families were reluctant to witness her dying, they did not promise her. Therefore, she was dying under the severe pain caused by the cancer.

I was feeling extremely upset after learning this painful news. I cannot imagine what I will be if I lose my mum at this age, though I am already an adult. I still distinctly remember how long it took me to recover and get back to my feet after my grandmother passed away. My love towards my mum definitely far outruns that towards my grandma, so I dare not imagine the time when my mum passes away though she may be very old then. Therefore, in some way I can fully understand how heartsick my friend has been these days. During all these months, grieved and anxious as he felt, he could not pose a sad face to his mother. Instead, he had to pretend to be optimistic and gleeful every day to encourage his mum to insist against the illness. He wished his uplifting mood could affect his mum to move into a right direction optimistically. He was considerably afraid that his mother would lose hope and feel desperate. But once he left the ward, his tears smashed out within a second and squatted with his head buried in his arms, crying heavily. But in the end, her mother still failed to fight off the illness and closed her eyes forever, leaving her son, her husbands and many other relatives weepingpainfully.

Tonight my mind cannot focus on my study and has been haunted all the way with the thought of the death of his mother. I am reflecting on my past behaviors at home. My mum, without any doubt, is among the best mothers in the world. Never can I know how much she has sacrificed for me that can never be repaid totally even though I exhaust the rest of my life. But until now how much have I repaid her? How much have done for her? All the way I just keep focusing on my own will and benefits. I have ever showed great love to my friend, to my lover and to my relatives, but I ignored my mum and took everything she gave me for granted. Even sometimes I would quarrel with her. Now I come to realize that it is my mum who deserves my love most, the one who can sacrifice her life for the sake of me! I think in the future no matter what conflicts I come into with my mum, I should not lose my temper to and quarrel with her. If I think she is wrong, I can simply keep silent and avoid rushing again her straightforward. I know she felt awfully grieved if she heard my rebellious statements. I cannot guarantee that I can make my mum happy, but I think at least I should not make her sad. That is what I can do for her as a son.

Tonight is another sleepless night.
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