1.

Goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

2.

Bet

" I want you to help me stop my son gambling. " an anxious father said to his boy's principal. " I don't know where he gets it from, but it's bet, bet, bet. "

" Leave it to me, " said the principal.

A week later he phoned the boy's father. " I think I've cured him," he said.

" How? "

" Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, " I bet that's a false beard, " How much? I said, and he said $ 5 "

" What happened ? " asked the father.

" Well he tugged my beard which is quite natural and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson! "

" No, it won't," said the father. "He bet me $10 on Monday that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week! "

" 我想你帮我制止我儿子赌博。 " 一位焦急的父亲对儿子的校长说。 " 我不知道他从哪儿学来的，总是赌 , 赌 , 赌。 "" 交给我吧！ " 校长说。

一周后，他打电话给男孩的父亲。 " 我想我已使他改邪归正。 " 他说。

" 怎么办到的？ "

" 噢，他看着我的胡子，然后说： ' 我打赌那是假胡子。 ' ' 赌多少钱？ ' 我问，他说 5 美元。 "

" 后来怎样？ " 父亲问道。

" 于是他拉扯了我的胡子后，知道那是货真价实的，我就要他给我 5 美元。我敢肯定我给了他一个教训。 "

" 不行，那没用。 " 父亲说。 " 星期一他和我赌了 10 美元，说周末他可以让你允许他拔你的胡子！ "

3.

Whose Father Was the Stronger

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说： " 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。 "

比尔不屑一顾： " 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。 "

4.

I Need Your Football

George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, "can Albert come out to play? "

" No," said the mother, "it's too cold. "

" Well, then, " said George, " can his football come out to play ? "

乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问："阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ "

" 不行， " 那位妈妈说， " 天气太冷了。 "

" 噢，那么， " 乔冶， " 他的足球可以出来玩吗？ "
关键字:笑话幽默
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