Maude has been avoiding me for weeks now, ever since I came out of Holloway. At first I didn't notice, as there was so much to do, what with the march to organise for June. It is to be the largest public gathering of people anywhere, ever in the world. We are run off our feet with tasks -- booking trains from all over the country, getting permission for the march routes and use of Hyde Park, conferring with the police, finding speakers and marching bands, making banners. It is like planning a battle. No, not just a battle - an entire war.

On that theme, Caroline has had a wonderful idea of what she and I can dress as for the procession. It is to be very dramatic, and I plan to celebrate my liberation from both Holloway and my despair with a liberating costume. It will be a great day.

In the midst of all the activity, though, I did notice that Maude left rooms as soon as I entered them, and was eating more meals at the Waterhouses' than at home.

Richard simply shrugged when I mentioned this to him. what did you expect?' he said. It is hard to talk to him now since I got out of Holloway he has been avoiding me too. Just as well that I have grown a thick skin!



I was not really surprised to see what he had done to my morning room. Other suffragettes' husbands have done worse. To put an end to such behaviour I had to resort to blackmail, which I am not proud of but which was necessary. It worked, too - he may hate what I am doing but he fears his mother more.

On Saturday morning I caught Maude moping in the drawing room and had an idea. 'Come with me into town,' I suggested. There's a motor to take us. See?' I pointed out the window at the Jenkinses' motor-car sitting in front of the house. Mrs Jenkins, a wealthy WSPU member in High-gate, has kindly donated it for WSPU business around town. Her husband doesn't know - we only use it when he's at work or away - and we have had to bribe Fred, the driver, to keep him quiet. It has been worth every penny.

Maude gaped at the car, which was gleaming in the sun. I could see that she wanted to say yes but she felt she shouldn't.

'Do come,' I said. 'It's a lovely day - we can ride with the top down.'

'Where are you going?'

To Clements Inn. But not for long,' I added quickly, knowing that she did not like the WSPU. Then on to Bond Street. Afterwards we could stop at the soda fountain at Fortnum and Mason's -- we haven't had an ice-cream there in such a long time.'

I don't know why I was trying so hard. I have never been an attentive mother, but now I feel as if I am fighting for something on Maude's behalf, and want to include her, even if it means bribing her with an ice-cream.

'All right,' she said at last.

I had her and Jenny help bring out the stacks of banners I'd been sewing - or rather, that I'd begun and found I hadn't the time for, and so paid Jenny and Mrs Baker extra to sew. I am still far behind the number I've promised to make. I am going to have to enlist Maude, though her sewing is worse than mine.

It was thrilling to be driven through London. I have done it many times now, but I still love it. Fred wears goggles when he drives, but I refuse to - I feel I never see anything if I have them on. We had tied our hats down with scarves

- mine a purple, green and white one that reads 'Votes for Women' (I offered one to Maude but she refused) - but everything flapped like mad in the wind anyway, and dust from the street flew into our clothes and hair. It was terribly exciting. The speed was so exhilarating -- we zoomed past milk carts, horse-drawn omnibuses, men on bicycles, and raced alongside motorised cabs and other private cars. Pubs, wash houses, tea shops, all passed by in a blur.

Even Maude enjoyed herself, though she did not say much

- not that one can talk over the noise of the engine. For the first time in months she seemed to relax, snug in the back seat between me and the banners. As we drove through an avenue of plane trees, their leaves forming a canopy overhead, she leaned her head back and looked up at the sky.

She helped me unload the banners at Clements Inn - Fred never lifts a finger to help, as he disapproves of suffragettes -but would not stay in the office, preferring to wait outside with Fred. I tried to be quick about it, but there were so many comrades to greet, questions to answer, and points to be raised, that by the time I got back to the car Maude and Fred were both sulking.

'Sorry!' I cried gaily. 'Never mind, let's go on. Collingwood's on Bond Street, if you please, Fred.' This stop wasn't strictly WSPU business, but it was certainly to do with woman's suffrage.

Maude looked surprised. 'Has Daddy bought you something new?' Collingwood's was where Richard went for jewellery for me.

I laughed. 'In a manner of speaking. You'll see.'

But when she saw the necklace in the black velvet box which the jeweller proudly presented to me, she didn't have quite the response I'd expected. She said nothing.

The necklace was made up of emeralds and amethysts and pearls, clustered together to form purple and white flowers with green leaves. The stones came entirely from necklaces I already owned: pearls I had received for my confirmation, amethysts inherited from my mother, and emeralds from a necklace Mrs Coleman gave me when I got married.

'You've done a marvellous job,' I said to the jeweller. 'It's exquisite!'

Maude was still staring at the necklace.

'Don't you like it?' I asked. 'It's the colours, don't you see? The WSPU colours. Lots of women are having pieces made up in them.'

'I thought . . .' Maude stopped.

'What is it?'

'Well - was I to inherit the necklaces that it is made from?'

'Gracious, is that what the matter is? So now you'll inherit this one instead.'

'Daddy will be furious,' Maude said quietly. 'And Grandmother. Those were her emeralds.'

'She gave me that necklace to do with what I liked. It's mine now -- it's not for her to say.'

Maude was silent, a silence worse than the sulk earlier.

'Shall we go to Fortnum and Mason's for ice-cream?' I suggested.

'No, thank you, Mummy. I think I'd like to go home now, please,' Maude said in a small voice.

I thought she would love the necklace. It seems that I can never please her.
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